The Munsters

Director - Rob Zombie (House of 1000 Corpses, 31)

Starring - Sheri Moon Zombie (Halloween, Lords of Salem), Jeff Daniel Phillips (Freaks of Nature, Westworld), and Daniel Roebuck (Matlock, Bubba Ho-Tep)

Release Date - 2022

Genre - Comedy/Horror

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     It's cool to hate certain filmmakers.  People love to hate specific directors for no real reason and that has become apparent when musician and director Rob Zombie announced his own spin on the classic series The Munsters.  So called fans went absolutely bat shit crazy over the news.  People that probably haven't seen a single episode in decades were up in arms stating he was going to ruin their favorite show and so on.   I dig Zombie's films with the exception of Halloween II but that didn't stop me from wanting to check out his take on The Munsters.  When I received the press release for the physical release of the film I was quick to reach out to request a review copy.  Once it arrived I was ready to toss it in and watch it with my family.

     The film follows love struck Lilly who is smitten with a comedian that is pieced together by a brilliant scientist.  Her father doesn't like Herman and wants the two to split but soon comes to terms with it when they become engaged.  The three are tossed out of their castle when Lilly's husband Herman is scammed by her brother.  The three then move to the U.S. and find themselves as the odd balls out when they realize their neighbors are normal people and not monsters.

     Rob Zombie's The Munsters is something new for fans while keeping the same style of humor in tact.  While it looked and felt like a few of the colorized episodes it also had a unique look that came from Zombie and his team which reminded me a lot of the web-series The Ghouligans.  I'm not saying it's a perfect origin story for the classic series but it is a fun film that not only fans of The Munsters, but fans of Rob Zombie, will enjoy.  The acting in this one reminded me a lot of the show.  Sure, they don't really look like the originals and their voices are nothing like the source material but their mannerisms and personalities are damn near spot on.  Most critics of Zombie often criticize his use of his wife but I really liked her as Lilly.  She had the hand movements and expressions down damn near perfectly.  There was several times during the film's run time that I was impressed by how she was channeling her inner Yvone De Carlo.  Jeff Daniel Phillips was a decent Herman.  He tries hard to capture the character made famous by the late Fred Gwynn but there were a few times where it came off as cheap and forced instead of authentic.  With that being said, I absolutely loved Daniel Roebuck as Grandpa.  He absolutely nails the sarcasm and cynicism of the original Grandpa while giving us a new look with homages to the original.  The supporting cast is decent but these three are the obvious focus of the film.  The story for this one is a bit messy but had it's heart in the right place.  It was cool to have an origin story but the film feels like it was filmed in pieces and then edited together.  It does look a bit rough at times and not very consistent but it is still able to hold your attention if you give it a chance.  We get a lot of character development but a lot of the film felt like it was filmed in waves.  This could have been due to writing issues or filming issues in a post-pandemic world.  A little more polish, editing, and smooth writing would have gone a long way.  Finally, the film showcases a lot of campy make-up effects that I really liked.  It was similar to what you would see in the television series which is something I really enjoyed.  It's not a bloody film but if you are in the mood for campy mummies, zombies, vampires, and werewolves then you will enjoy this one.  Overall, The Munsters is going to be hated because hating Rob Zombie is cool I guess.  However, I enjoyed it and it did a fantastic job at bringing these classic characters into 2022.  It's fun if you don't have a stick up your ass.  Check it out on Netflix or rush to the comments and tell me about how I was paid to write this review.  

Spirit Halloween

Director - David Poag (The Story of Nearest Green, Wait...)

Starring - Donovan Colan (Chapemwaite, Moonshine), Dylan Martin Frankel (Raven's Home, Life & Beth), and Jaiden J, Smith (Two Sentence Horror Stories, Faith Under Fire)

Release Date - 2022

Genre - Horror/Comedy

Tagline - "Possessing theaters this fall"
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Halloween means a lot to many horror fans.  It's the one time of year where their beloved genre dominates cable programs and theaters.  They are able to express themselves by decorating with the creepy and macabre while binging their favorite holiday films.  Around the end of August most of us look for that orange banner to appear on vacant or empty building signifying that Spirit Halloween will be soon be opening their door for us to get our fix of Halloween decorations and horror merchandise.  The Spirit Halloween store near me is housed in an old K-Mart building which is kind of creepy in it's own.  Earlier in the year news broke that Spirit would be releasing their own horror film which caught many horror fans by surprise.  How the fuck would a Halloween store pull off a horror flick?  Regardless, I was open to it and when I received word about reviewing it I couldn't wait to check it out.  

     The film follows three youths who find themselves at the awkward age where they still want to trick or treat and enjoy the scares of Halloween but feel they may be too old for the holiday.  When they come across a Spirit Halloween pop up store in an abandoned parking lot they decide to sneak in and spend the night for some holiday scares.  However, what they don't know is that the store is on the site where relentless businessman Alex Windsor (Christopher Lloyd) died.  Now he is possessing the Halloween animatronics in the store forcing them to fight for their lives or risk being possessed themselves.

     Spirit Halloween has some fun moments and could be a lot of fun watching with kids as you prepare for the holiday season but it's not something that will stand out every October like John Carpenter's Halloween, Trick r' Treat, and Hocus Pocus.  It's fairly generic, predictable, and oddly enjoyable.  Honestly, I really enjoyed it but I don't see myself watching it again until next year.  The acting in this one is pretty solid.  The characters are basic and one dimensional but the cast does a solid job with what they were given.  I liked the young cast's chemistry on screen and how well they worked together with each other.  The story for this one is a haunted house type set up but the haunted mansion that you would find in most other films like it was changed to a Spirit Halloween store for obvious reasons.  It does work but the predictability does take some of the fun out of it.  It's Stranger Things by way of Disney but it does find a way to entertain.  I could see myself watching this paint by number haunted house flick annually as the leaves start to fall.  Finally we get some fun visual effects and decent make-up effects but don't expect a bloody flick.  The target audience is children so the body count isn't there for you gorehounds.  Overall, Spirit Halloween is fun for a late fall viewing with the family as you prepare to go trick or treating with the kids but it's not the horror movie us genre fans were hoping for.  Regardless, it's a decent flick that really has that Halloween look and feel.  Check it out.  

The Lighthorsemen

Director - Simon Wincer (The Phantom, Harlequin)

Starring - Peter Phelps (Baywatch, Point Break), Nick Waters (Fortress, The Flying Doctors), and John Larking (E.A.R.T.H. Force, A Cry in the Dark)

Release Date - 1987

Genre - War/Action

Tagline - "They did what they were told... they didn't know it was impossible"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     With each release that I get from Umbrella Entertainment I find myself becoming more and more impressed with ozploitation cinema.  While a few were not something I enjoyed I did find several films that truly impressed me.  Hell, some of these films quickly became some of my favorite flicks.  A few weeks back I was sent the war drama The Lighthorsemen from Umbrella and was slightly curious as to why the film was available for me to review. This is not your typical ozploitation flick.  In fact, it's not really a traditional ozploitation film as we know them.  It is an Australian film but it was part of a much bigger production.  It looked like something I would have enjoyed as a kid when I was on a drama kick.  Regardless, when I was starting my Umbrella marathon I decided it would fit in perfectly after Child's Play and Harlequin.  I want to thank Umbrella for sending this one over.  It's an amazing film that truly deserves your time.

     The film follows the Australian Light Horse regime and their involvement in the first World War andthe battle between the British and Turkish forces over the control of Gaza.

     The Lighthorsemen is a fantastic film that I've never heard anyone speak of.  I know a lot of my regular readers will bitch and moan about this one not being a horror flick but I don't give a rat's ass.  It's one of the best war dramas I have ever seen and its easily one of the best written films I've laid my eyes on.  The acting in this is absolutely amazing from each and every cast member.  Like most movies, some of the cast has bigger roles than others but this one has absolutely no weak links.  The characters are so well written and the cast does an amazing job bringing them to life.  The story for this one is drama filled and action oriented but I can't vouch for it's authenticity.  As an American, we are never taught other countries history.  However, from a film standpoint, it's a fantastic film that kept me glued to the screen from beginning to end.  You find yourself completely enthralled with the story.  Finally, the film has a few bloody moments but the body count is not the focus of the film.  It's a story rich movie with great characters that holds the viewer's attention.  Overall, The Lighthorsemen is not going to be for everyone and not for some of you looking for a horror flick to relax to.  However, if you want a period piece with a war flare then this one is for you.  I highly recommend this release from Umbrella.  

Child's Play

Director - Tom Holland (Fright Night, Amazing Stories)

Starring - Catherine Hicks (Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Tucker's Witch), Chris Sarandon (The Princess Bride, The Nightmare Before Christmas), and Alex Vincent (House Guest Massacre, The Dark Military)

Release Date - 1988

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "You'll wish it was only make believe"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I've been writing poorly written reviews now for right at a decade and sometimes I find myself wondering why in the fuck someone would send a particular movie my way for review.  Most of the time these films are known the world over and have a large and loyal fan base.  Regardless, I'm grateful for any movie sent my way for review and always try to be as honest as I can be while being respectful.  Sometime back Umbrella Entertainment sent over Tom Holland's 1988 classic Child's Play.  This release was part of their Beyond Genres line.  I know that Child's Play is one of the most popular films to come out of the 80s and Chucky is, arguably, one of the many faces of horror but it's a film that I could live without.  For me, the Child's Play series never really gained traction until Bride of Chucky but the first film still has it's moments.  Like always, I want to thank Umbrella for sending this one over.

     The film follows a single mother and her young son who has a birthday approaching.  He really wants a Good Guy doll but because money is tight she is unable to get him one.  That is until a homeless man sells her one that he rescued from a burning toy store.  What they don't know is that the toy store fire was created when a detective chased notorious serial killer Charles Lee Ray who transferred his soul into a Good Guy doll after he was shot.  Now, the possessed doll is, Chucky, is trying to get his hands on an amulet so he can finish the soul transfer and put it in the little boy and he will let no one stand in his way.

     I know that most of the horror community loves this one and I do like watching it from time to time but I feel like the film missed so many opportunities.  It's still a fun film but the characters and story was better handled in films like Bride and Seed of Chucky than the first three films.  The acting in this is the film's high point.  Catherine Hicks and Chris Sarandon is absolutely fantastic together.  Sarandon's hardened detective character really works well with Hick's loving mother.  Both are cliched but they match the story perfectly.  Also, Brad Dourif absolutely shines in the role.  He's an amazing serial killer but his voice of Chucky is absolutely fantastic.  He's one of the highlights of the series and really comes into his own in later installments.  The story for this one takes itself too seriously for what it is.  We have a serial killer with a knack for voodoo that voices a child's toy.  It has one hell of a set up for a horror comedy but the serious tone falls of deaf ears.  If the killer was a little more grounded it would have worked as a serious horror film but the killer doll with the voodoo doesn't really fit the tone of the film.  Finally, the deaths fit the film very well with some solid practical effects.  However, the deaths don't really stand out.  Chucky and his relationship with the young boy is the focus of the film instead of the blood and gore and it shows.  Overall, Child's Play is a horror classic but I feel it may be a bit overrated.  Regardless, Umbrella put out a release that should satisfy the most die hard fans.  Check it out.    

Harlequin

Director - Simon Wincer (The Phantom, The Lighthorsemen)

Starring - Robert Powell (Frankenstein, Jesus of Nazareth), David Hemmings (Deep Red, Faerie Tale Theatre), and Carmen Duncan (Turkey Shoot, Ash vs Evil Dead)

Release Date - 1980

Genre - Fantasy/Horror

Tagline - "Are his powers more than magic?"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I'm fairly new to ozploitation but I can, without a doubt, tell that these films are some of the most ambitious and entertaining films I have ever seen.  Where I'm new to these films I'm still being introduced to some of their most well-known films.  Most of these films are sent my way from Umbrella Entertainment as part of their Ozploitation Classics line.  Sometime back Umbrella sent over the 1980 fantasy horror ozploitation film Harlequin for review.  I was on the fence about the film but once I finally pulled the trigger on it I found myself loving it.  It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it.  I want to thank Umbrella Entertainment for sending it over.  

     The film follows a political figure who is about to lose his young son to an illness that has stumped doctors.  A strange man, a faith healer of sorts, makes an appearance and cures the child.  Soon his family is enamored with the stranger but the political figure's fixer does not like him and tries to sabotage him.  Soon the political figure finds himself torn between the man that healed his child and a career in politics.  

      I noticed that a few of my friends on social media stated that they didn't care for this one but I absolutely fucking loved it.  The movie was a solid mix of dark fantasy, horror, and even a bit of political thriller.  I can see why some people wouldn't dig it but I really enjoyed it.  The acting in this one is fantastic.  Robert Powell is absolutely amazing as the enigmatic faith healer.  His character made the film for me and I couldn't imagine the movie being as entertaining if someone else was cast in the role.  It's also great seeing David Hemmings in another genre film.  I've reviewed several films of his previously but they were not horror films.  Sure, I have seen him in several horror films but they were not movies sent my way for review.  He's such an amazing actor that really carries the scene.  When you pair him with Powell you get something truly entertaining. The supporting cast is solid but they don't touch a candle to these two in this film.  The story for this one is a political thriller with horror and fantasy elements.  The film has a false sense of who the real villain is that really works.  The twist at the end works and the movie makes you think it's predictable before pulling the rug out from under you.  There is a few slow scenes that will try your patience but the film as a whole is very well written.  Finally, the film has some blood and some very impressive gun shots but that's the extent of it all.  If you want a movie with a high body count and memorable practical effects then this one is not for you.  Overall, Harlequin was a pleasant surprise and one of the better ozploitation flicks I've seen so far.  I loved the story and the cast is amazing.  I highly recommend this release from Umbrella Entertainment.  

Voorhees Night of the Beast

Director - Jason Pitts (Alone, Masquerade)

Starring - Alivea Disney (Evil Deeds, Mayberry Man), Will Reed (Horror Movies and Scary Stories), and CJ Bernard (Dark Night, Chemicals Between Us)

Release Date - 2021

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "When Jason... isn't the only... beast in the woods.  No one is safe"

Format - Streaming (YouTube)

Rating (out of 5):

     I never knew what fan films were until I started writing reviews for Horror Society.  A few Halloween fans films were first brought to my attention before I was introduced to an Ash vs Marvel Zombies fan short.  since then I've reviewed at least a dozen Friday the 13th fan films with at least a handful more on my radar.  A month or two ago I was introduced to Voorhees: Night of the Beast when actress Jessa Flux announced that she was in the film.  I was curious about it especially when I learned that it was a Jason vs bigfoot film.  I searched through YouTube when I found the film was available there.  After watching a few Unearthed and Synapse Films I decided it was time to see if this fan film was worth a damn or not.  

     The film blends Part VI and Jason Goes to Hell when one of the campers from Jason Lives that survived by hiding under the bed is now a grown adult.  Suffering from night terrors, his friends decide to take him back to Crystal Lake to help him overcome his fears.  That same night a group of bigfoot hunters, accompanied by Creighton Duke, find more than they were looking for when they find the famous cryptid and the local legend, Jason Voorhees.  

     Voorhees: Night of the Beast has what would be on of the wildest stories in fan film history.  However, the wild and absurd storyline couldn't really save this one from the horrible dialogue, chaotic story telling, and horrible fight scene.  I wanted to love it but I just couldn't.   The acting in this one is very inconsistent.  Some of the cast has a lot of experience and handles themselves very well on camera while others struggled to keep their performance grounded.  Their emotions were not genuine and some of the scenes did suffer because of it.  The awkward dialogue makes it even more worse when you put it all together.  The story for this one has so much potential but the scenes and dialogue makes me think this was a dream project by a teenager that was never updated when the film was being made years later.  I loved the idea of Jason fighting with a bigfoot put trying to cram these little nods from other installments in the franchise makes it feel a little thrown together.  Honestly, I wish the film just followed the bigfoot hunters as they wondered too close to Crystal Lake without the twenty-somethings trying to party in a cabin while being inconsiderate to their friend.  Finally, the film has some bloody moments and Jason looks good for a fan film.  However, the bigfoot is pretty laughable which is something that is pretty common in most sasquatch films.  The kills are pretty standard stuff that doesn't stick with you.  The effects a minimal but just enough to make the scene work.  Overall, Night of the Beast has some cool moments but the film as a whole was not for me.  It's one I can't recommend so skip it unless you are a fan of Jessa Flux like I am.  

Naked Over the Fence

Director - Frans Weisz (The Burglar, A Hot Summer Night)

Starring - Rijk de Gooyer (Nosferatu the Vampyre, The Wilby Conspiracy), Jennifer Willems (Pipo de Clown, The Burglar), and Jon Bluming (Vincent and Me, The Wrestler)

Release Date - 1973

Genre - Thriller

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I've been fortunate enough to review several films now starring sexploitation icon Sylvia Kristel who many may know from her iconic role as Emmanuelle and its sequels.  Many of those films were released by Cult Epics on blu in a solid box set.  The set was a lot of fun with most of them being damn good films that really surprised me.  Several weeks back Cult Epics announced another Sylvia Kristel release when they revealed the blu release of Naked Over the Fence.  I was looking forward to checking this out after I remembered how much fun I had with their previous set.  I reached out to Cult Epics and they were kind enough to send a copy over to check out.  Thanks guys.

     The film follows a young karate fan, an arcade owner, and a popular martial arts practitioner who find themselves entangled in an adult film production and a murder resulting in blackmail and an investigation to uncover the real killer.

     I didn't expect Naked Over the Fence to be a thriller.  I tossed this one in expecting another sexploitation film with a cameo appearance from Kristel.  Honestly, the story had promise but the overall film left me feeling underwhelmed and extremely bored.  I wanted to love it and I hate writing negative reviews for films someone took the time to mail me for review but this one just wasn't for me.  The acting in this one is pretty decent.  There were a few scenes where it looked like the cast was tired or reached their breaking point because the performance from the cast just feels flat and lacking energy.  Aside from these few scenes, I loved the casting and the characters they portrayed.  The story for this one has the best set up for a sleazy thriller but it never fully embraces either.  A murder mystery set against the back drop of a porn production has the potential to be something historic but the film's reluctance to embrace the sleaze and murder mystery leaves viewers feeling bored and difficult to finish.  I wanted to love it but it was painfully dull.  Finally, this is not a bloody flick and, honestly, the film is not as sleazy as it looks. Overall, Naked Over the Fence is alright for a first time watch but it's not going to be a lot of exploitation fans' cup of tea.  It's one I'm on the fence about recommending but if you like Sylvia Kristel then you may enjoy this one.  

Massacre at Central High

Director - Rene Daalder (The White Slave, Hysteria)

Starring - Derrel Maury (Shazam!, Hobgoblins 2), Andrew Stevens (Munchie Strikes Back, Scared Stiff), and Robert Carradine (Revenge of the Nerds, Ghosts of Mars)

Release Date - 1976

Genre - Horror/Thriller

Tagline - "You better get those kids the hell out of there"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I feel like Synapse Films doesn't release as many films as other companies like Vinegar Syndrome, Serverin Films, Arrow Video, and Scream Factory to saw a few but when they do release a film you can bet it's going to leave an impression.  One of their most recent releases, The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue, is one of my favorite films and easily the best release of that film to date.  When they announced the release of the 1976 film Massacre at Central High I was definitely intrigued.  I heard other horror fans talk about this one before but I never had the opportunity to check this one out.  I reached out to MVD and they were kind enough to send this one over.  It was another impressive release for a film that has stuck with me for several days after my initial viewing.  Since then I've watched this film three times and still have the urge to watch it again.  I want to thank MVD and Synapse for sending this one over because it was an amazing watch.  One of the best re-releases I've seen in a long time.

     The film follows the students of Central High when new student David (Maury) arrives and begins questioning the school's hierarchy where a group of bullies control the entire school.  No one seems to stand up to them until David arrives.  When David's old friend tries to bring him into the group his refusal prompts retaliation from them resulting in a horrible accident that leaves David unable to use his leg properly.  Soon the group of bullies starts dying one by one until they are gone but the death doesn't stop there.

     Massacre at Central High is not a traditional horror film but it is a dark thriller with slasher-like elements from the mid-70s just years before the slasher boom.  Everyone that made it through high school knows what it was like to bully and be bullied to some extent.  I was a piece of shit my teenage years and found myself on the business end of bullying and took the pain and torment of being bullied out on others.  I never wanted to kill people or go to the extremes this movie does but the damage from being bullied does drive some to such measures.  It's a fantastic film that goes by the saying "real life is more horrifying than fiction."  The acting in this one is pretty decent.  I loved the characters we are given and how well they fit in with the story.  The writer/writers does one hell of a job giving the cast characters like this to work with.  The cast works very well together and their on screen chemistry makes the scenes that more enjoyable.  There is a few moments when the characters should be panicked or terrified but their face would be blank and emotionless but aside from those few scenes I found myself enjoying the casting.  The story for this one isn't as out there as most horror films.  It's grounded and very realistic.  Hell, it's even more relatable now than it was then with the amount of school shootings, bomb attempts, and other hostile attacks on our public school by those that were bullied, tormented, tortured, and pushed beyond the brink.  I'm not making excuses for these monsters.  I'm just simply stating that most of these acts come from those that were often picked on and ridiculed by groups of people.  Seeing a horror film centered around that is enough to give me chills.  It's got a great pacing, the scares work, and is still relevant all these years later.  Finally, the film has several deaths but these death scenes were the weakest aspect of the film.  The deaths don't feature amazing effects and gore.  In fact, they are cheap and extremely cheesy bringing about some unexpected laughs.  The film is such a great film and having memorable death scenes would have sent it over the top.  Overall, Massacre at Central High is a fucking phenomenal film and Synapse did a great job with this release.  I fucking loved it and I can't wait until my next viewing.  Do yourself a favor and snag a copy.  It's worth every penny.  

Dr. Lamb

Director(s) - Danny Lee (The Eight Immortals Restaurant: The Untold Story, Chak Wong) and Billy Hin-Shing Tang (My Date with a Vampire, Brother of Darkness)

Starring - Danny Lee, Simon Yam (Naked Killer, The Night Rider), and Kent Cheng (Vampire's Breakfast, Dragon's Teeth)

Release Date - 1992

Genre - Horror/Crime

Tagline - "Taxi driver by day, killer by night"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Unearthed Films is no stranger to the violent and grotesque having dedicated most of their time to extreme horror.  Their fan base is some of the most ravenous fans in the horror community.  Sometime back Unearthed started releasing some Cat III titles that never received the proper release here in the states.  Sometime ago Unearthed announced the release of the 1992 crime horror film Dr. Lamb.  This is one I've been looking forward to checking out for some time.  When I received the press release for this one I quickly rushed to my email so I could request a review copy.  After watching Unearthed's release of The Old Man: The Movie I decided it was time to finally check out Dr. Lamb.  Like always I want to thank MVD and Unearthed for sending this one over.

     The film follows the police department when several women turn up dead.  They start investigating the murders and eventually find a lead that takes them to a taxi driver who commits the heinous crimes on rainy nights.

     Dr. Lamb was not what I was expecting.  When Unearthed started bringing Asian horror to us I was extremely excited.  The Untold Story was a fantastic release and Tokyo Decadence had its moments.  However, Evil Dead Trap was hit or miss.  I was expecting a bloody flick with a serious horror element but the film was a surprisingly decent crime film with some fun effects.  The acting in this one is very well done.  In fact, I was really impressed by the cast and the characters.  Not all the characters in the film have detailed development but the cast does a fantastic job in front of the camera.  The story for this one is more of a crime thriller with some seriously amazing effects.  The film, like many other genre flicks of the time, showcases the brutality of the police department as they use force to beat convictions out of suspects instead of using detective work to uncover the real killer.  We do get some of those crime investigations scenes that you expect but the highlight here is the cop brutality and the death scenes.  Finally, the film has some seriously impressive practical effects which is what earned the film the CAT III rating.  For me, this was the redeeming point in the film and really sold me on it.  They look amazing and several scenes had me rewinding several times as I tried to figure out how they pulled the effects off.  Overall, Dr. Lamb is not as extreme or gruesome as I was expecting and the crime aspect really caught me off guard but it's still a film that deserves a watch.  Fans of Unearthed may find it a little underwhelming but it has it's moments.  Check it out.  

The Old Man: The Movie

Director(s) - Oskar Lehemaa (Beyond the Dark, Bad Hair) and Mikk Magi (Borders, Tommy Cash: ProRapSuperstar)

Starring - Mart Avandi (Restart, The Fencer), Reio Blond, and Merilyn Elge

Release Date - 2019

Genre - Comedy/Adventure

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Unearthed Films has a solid track record with their releases especially in the last few years.  With their focus shifting to bluray releases we've seen some underrated and often overlooked action, sci-fi and horror releases from yesteryear finally make their blu debuts.  Not to forget their extreme and depraved roots, we still get films that are too grotesque for other labels to release.  While Unearthed may be known for their gruesome and gory titles they still keep an eye out for unique films that are just as wild and wacky as they are strange.  Case in point is the 2019 Estonian film The Old Man: The Movie from directors Oskar Lehemaa and Mikk Magi.  I have a soft spot for animated films and when I saw that Unearthed was releasing this oddball on blu I knew I had to see it.  I was quick to message MVD who was handling the blu release of the film and they were kind enough to send over a review copy.  Like always I want to thank MVD and Unearthed for sending this one over.

     The film follows three children who are sent to the country to spend time with their grandfather for the summer.  Their grandfather owns a dairy cow and provides the village with their daily milk.  However, when they release the cow from its bondage they are sent on an adventure to retrieve the cow before it's udders fill with milk and explode on a catastrophic level.  To make matters worse, they must reach the cow before the former milker does and kills it before it can explode.

     I've seen and reviewed hundreds, if not thousands, of films over the years and The Old Man: The Movie is easily in the top five of fucking weird.  It's as if fans of Wallace and Gromit and John Waters came together to make a fucking strange film that will stick with you hours or even days after watching it.  The voice acting in this one is not the same as the actors credited on imdb.  I couldn't find a list of the voice cast for the English dubbed version.  However, I enjoyed the voice acting.  The voices fit the characters very well and I found myself laughing at the dialogue they were delivering.  The story for this one keeps the viewer constantly on their toes.  Just when you think you know where the film is going something completely unexpected happens throwing you for another loop.  It's completely unexpected and mind blowing from start to finish.  Finally, the animation is basic and simple but it works for the story.  The simple approach works for the film but I can see some movie goers being turned off by the style.  Overall, The Old Man: The Movie is not your typical Unearthed release but it's one that I welcome with opened arms.  I highly recommend snagging this one because you will not be disappointed.  

Cassex

Director - Lindsey Schmitz (Horde Busters, Femalien: Cosmic Crush)

Starring - Anna Claire Clouds (Naughty Nannies, Black Meat White Feet), Jayden Cole (Rich Bitch, Seeing Red), and Lexi Luna (Naughty Office, My Friend's Hot Mom)

Release Date - 2021

Genre - Sci-Fi

Tagline - "Retro.  Active"

Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Full Moon, Empire, and Moonbeam was a huge part of my childhood.  Movies like Prehysteria, Subspecies, and Re-Animator were a huge part of my childhood and teenage years and this is just a few of their offerings that I would watch over and over until I became sick of them.  I still enjoy these films now but I'm now a big fan of their sister company Surrender Cinema.  I've watched several of their sexploitaton and softcore films over the years and often keep an eye out for their other releases.  A few months back I noticed that Full Moon had added the SC dvd release of the film Cassex to their site.  When I saw that adult film star Lauren Phillips was in it I knew I had to see it.  I reached out to them and they were kind enough to send over a copy for me to check out.  I'm glad they did because I had a lot of fun with this one!

     The film follows a young couple who discover an old VHS camcorder in their yard while digging and decide to give the tape inside a spin.  They soon find themselves in the past when the adult film on the tape was being shot and this is only the beginning of their sex fueled adventure.

     Before I took a dive into this one I knew very little about it.  I knew it was an erotic film centered around a VHS tape and had an appearance from Lauren Phillips.  The film was exactly as I thought it would be and did not disappoint. It's simple, sleazy, and works for a softcore flick with a dash of sci-fi.  The acting in this one is solid for the most part.  The constant smiling from the cast is a little off putting but if I was getting paid to grind I would be smiling like a jack ass too.  The characters are cliched but the fact that these adult film stars are able to get into character and deliver a semi-serious performance is something that is uncommon in films of this caliber.  The story for this one is pretty entertaining and the possibilities are endless.  We could have so many more films following this same premise and even though this was done previously in several horror films I can't wait to see if Full Moon and Surrender Cinema does with this property after the success it's had.  Finally, we get some visual effects that fit the film very well but the focus of the film is the skin.  We get a lot of skin but if you are looking for blood then you will be very disappointed.  Overall, Cassex should not be a film you sleep on.  If you dig sexploitation flicks or sleazy sci-fi flicks then this one is for you.  It's a lot of fun.  

     

Magnum Opus: The .MOVie

Director - Addison Binek (Psycho Ape, Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon)

Release Date - 2022

Genre - Comedy

Tagline - "Made by kids who saw Jackass.  They tried it at home"

Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I get sent a lot of films to review and not all of these films are horror.  I initially set up my blog, several years before I was brought onto Horror Society, to review old action and exploitation flicks.  However, my love for the genre overtook me and my focus was quickly shifted to horror.  That's why I enjoy randomly reviewing films from other genres as a way to recharge my batteries and see something a little different.  Several weeks back director Addison Binek sent over his newest film Magnum Opus: The .MOVie.  This was a film he edited together from footage he shot during his teenage years after filming skits and stunts inspired by Jackass.  I did the same thing when I was a teenager so I thought it would be fun to check out.  Thanks Addison for sending this one over.

     No real plot to this one.  We get some funny stunts and several moments that may have been funny if you were there but they don't really bring the laughs watching them on the screen.

     Magnum Opus will not be for everyone and Addison knows it.  In fact, I had fun with it at times but the overall film wasn't something I would go out of the way to check out.  With that being said, I'm not the intended audience for the film.  The stunts performed in this one are sometimes funny while others were just teenagers trying to impress each other.  I did the same things when I was that age while trying to be the next Steve-O and Johnny Knoxville.  However, it's not really as fun watching others do it especially when it's teens just fucking around in their backyards.  The editing in this one is far from perfect but it looks decent considering the source material is from different formats and quality.  The transitions are simple and there is no real order to the segments but it definitely draws inspiration from the chaotic formula of Jackass.  Overall, Magnum Opus is going to be for a very few select people but if you love amateur stunts and teenage antics then this one is for you.  Honestly, I did laugh a few times and found myself revisiting my childhood doing shit that would get me taken away from my dad now but this one wasn't for me.  Check it out if it sounds like something you would dig.  

The Grindhouse Gospel

Director - Rowdy Riter

Starring - Rowdy Riter

Genre - Horror

Format - Streaming (YouTube)

Rating (out of 5):

     I love when I come across an aspiring indie filmmaker who is working hard to turn their ideas into something enjoyable for genre fans.  Several weeks ago I befriended a musician and filmmaker on Instagram when he reached out to about his upcoming short The Grindhouse Gospel 2.  I had no idea there was a Grindhouse Gospel 1 so I quickly rushed to YouTube where I found the short streaming.  It runs around five or six minutes and is an interesting short to say the least.  I want to thank Rowdy for hitting me up and letting me know about the short.

     The film follows a young man who spends his last moments with a body that is wrapped up tight.  However, before he gets too comfortable the end comes calling and a noose finds it's way around his neck.

     The Grindhouse Gospel feels more like a music video for a metal band instead of a short.  However, it's lack of music makes it clear that it was meant to be a horror short.  I liked several things about the short but there was some aspects that I had issues with.  The acting in this one is not what you would expect from a horror flick.  Instead, we follow a lone man as he chills before ending his life.  Not something you can really judge but its not bad or awkward as it sounds.  The story for this one is simple and straight to it.  Someone, presumably a killer, takes his life after spending some time with a corpse.  It's not a narrative that you are accustomed to.  If the short had a more traditional story that you could follow it would have been more enjoyable.  Finally, the film doesn't have any blood or guts so those of you with a taste of blood will be very disappointed.  However, if you want something with some atmosphere and tension then you will find it here.  Overall, The Grindhouse Gospel isn't something that will stick with you but it's interesting to see the humble beginnings of an aspiring filmmaker who has what looks to be a promising future.  Keep in mind, this is a no budget short but it has what many others lack and that's heart.  

Remote

Director - Ted Nicolaou (Bad Channels, Dragonworld)

Starring - Chris Carrara (In Living Color, Pucked), Jessica Bowman (Joy Ride, Baywatch), and John Diehl (National Lampoon's Vacation, D.C. Cab)

Release Date - 1993

Genre - Comedy/Crime

Tagline - "A comedy for the whole family"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     As I continue my Full Moon and Moonbeam marathon I end up with a film that I had only seen one time when I was growing up.  I wasn't like many of the kids my age.  I never cared for the Christmas hit Home Alone.  I don't know if I ever liked it but the holiday season crammed it and the sequel down our throats really turned me off to the film.  However, over the years, especially in the 90s, there was several Home Alone rip offs that popped up here and there.  Most found their way to the children's section in your local video store.  One such film was Moonbeam's Remote from acclaimed director Ted Nicolaou.  I remember watching this one with a cousin when I was a kid. It was fun but not one that really stuck out with me.  When Full Moon announced that the film was hitting blu I used this as an excuse to revisit it.  I reached out to MVD and they were kind enough to hook me up with a copy.

     The film follows Randy (Carrara) who is often left alone with his remote contraptions while his parents are away with work.  He often takes his toys to a new development on the edge of town to play with them in the homes that have not been sold.  However, one day his innocent trip takes an unexpected turn when three goons who recently robbed a bank decide to crash one of the unoccupied homes.  Now, he's stuck in the attack and the only way out is to use his remote controlled toys.

     Remote is probably my least favorite of the Moonbeam films that I've seen but it's bad.  In fact, it has some fun moments but it's resemblance to Home Alone is unmistakable.  The entire time you are watching the film you find yourself comparing it to the Christmas classic.  It's not original but it is fun and a time machine back to the mid-90s with the high end electronics the film's story is centered around.  The acting in this one is a lot of fun.  It's not the best in the world but for a film featuring nearly inexperienced children it finds a way to entertain.  There are plenty of awkward scenes and dry dialogue but the story carries us through when the cast cannot.  The story for this one is a clone of Home Alone with the Christmas season replaced with a summer setting and Moonbeam/Full Moon went above and beyond to showcase the best RC vehicles they could find to incorporate into the film.  When you combine both of these elements you get a decent film for a first time watch.  However, it's not a film you can revisit as often as the other films.  It's predictable and not that cleverly written but it's still fun for the occasional light-hearted watch.  Finally, Remote doesn't really have any effects.  It's a lot of shots of RC cars, planes, and helicopters but no blood.  Overall, Remote is a solid release from Full Moon but it's not something you will binge over and over.  I liked it but it's nothing like some other Moonbeam releases.  

Dragonworld

Director - Ted Nicolaou (Subspecies, TerrorVisions)

Starring - Courtland Mead (The Little Rascals, The Shining), Janet Henfrey (Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Doctor Who), and Alastair Mackenzie (Psychos, Snuff-Movie)

Release Date - 1994

Genre - Fantasy/Adventure

Tagline - "Out of the mist and into your heart"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Moonbeam Entertainment, with Empire and Full Moon alike, were a big part of my childhood.  I remember renting movies like Puppet Master, Re-Animator, From Beyond, and Prehysteria! a lot when I was younger.  I have a lot of fond memories watching these movies with my grandmother while my dad was out of town a lot.  I remember the first time I watched Dragonworld.  It was one of the few Moonbeam films that I didn't rent and actually watched on cable.  I believe it was on the original run of the Sci-Fi Channel before the rebranding.  I remember seeing the Moonbeam logo and immediately giving it my full attention.  It was a fun one but rather predictable even for my younger self.  I picked the DVD up several years ago but never revisited it until now.  When Full Moon announced the release of the blu I couldn't pass up the opportunity to let some nostalgia rush over me.  I reached out to my friends over at MVD and they were kind enough to send a copy my way.

     The film follows the young John McGowan (Mead) who is sent to Scotland to live with his grandfather after his parents perish in an automobile accident.  His grandfather is stuck in his old ways and raises John on them.  However, John has no normal Scottish childhood when he makes a wish on a magic tree and is granted a baby dragon as a companion.  The two grow up together and become the best of friends but when a documentary filmmaker doing a film on haunted castles uncovers the dragon he suggests that John lease him to a wealthy investor to help cover back taxes on the castle.  Soon, the wealthy man takes full control of the dragon after John signs a shady contract for him to risk his life to save his best friend.

     Dragonworld is a corny children's film with some cheesy effects and cliched characters but it's a film I would pick over the bigger budgeted movies from it's time like Air Bud and Little Giants.  It's not as fun to me as the original Prehysteria! but it's still up there with some of my favorite films from my childhood.  The acting in this one is great.  In fact, it's probably one of the better acted Moonbeam film I've seen.  You have a small role from Uh Huh in the live action Little Rascals film from the same era before we are given several memorable performances from some seriously gifted cast.  I like the cliched and campy back stories and characters that the cast gives us.  The story for this one is painfully predictable but still just as enjoyable.  The movie is straight forward and the viewer knows exactly what is going to happen before it happens.  Even as a kid I knew how the film was going to play out.  With that being said, the journey is so much fun.  I've seen this film a dozen times easily and I still find myself glued to the screen.  It does drag it's feet a few times during the middle aspect of the film but it's nothing that takes away from the experience.  Finally, the film has some extremely horrible visual effects and some fun and campy practical effects.  The visuals are pure shit but I loved the look of the dragon and the puppetry.  Overall, Dragonworld is another favorite of mine from my childhood and I love seeing it get the blu release it deserves.  I highly recommend picking this one up.

Prehysteria! 2

Director - Albert Band (I Bury the Living, Ghoulies II)

Starring - Kevin Connors (Harry and the Hendersons, Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead), Jennifer Harte, and Dean Schofield (Project: Metalbeast, Cotton Candy)

Release Date - 1994

Genre - Comedy

Tagline - "The oldest party animals are back"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I had several go to films when I was a kid.  An estranged uncle gave me Jason Goes to Hell and Conan the Destroyer on tape.  I played the fuck out of them for years until I got my hands on the Prehysteria! trilogy along with Adventures in Dinosaur City.  I fucking loved these films and watched the absolute fuck out of them until they were given away while I was in college.  Several years ago I wanted to revisit these films and found them on DVD from Germany.  Since then Full Moon has been working on their Moonbeam catalog.  They released the first Prehysteria! film on blu sometime ago and just recently put the sequel out on blu.  I reached out to them and they were kind enough to send a copy over.  I couldn't wait to revisit this one and once I decided to have a Full Moon marathon I knew this would be one of the first films I watched.

     The film follows Brendan (Connors) who is wealthy but lacks friendship.  That is until one day he befriends a young girl in a rail yard and the two find a group of miniature dinosaurs.   He takes them to his mansion and soon finds a friendship in them and the young girl that money could not put a price on.

     Prehysteria! 2 is nowhere near as enjoyable as the first film but it's still a solid watch.  It's a copy and paste story with some changes that makes it just different enough to be a sequel and not a hard retelling.  Honestly, I like the set up of the film but it could have offered us just a little something different than a rehashing of the first film.  The acting in this one is pretty fucking decent.  I really liked the characters we were given and how they seemed to be written more a children's film than the first film.  The cast has some experience but there was a few scenes that still feel awkward to watch even now.  What really stands out to me is Kevin Connors who many of you may remember as the kid in Phantasm III.  The story for this one is similar to the first film but with some noticeable differences.  I liked the rich kid angle mixed with the dad who is too busy for him.  Toss in a tramp for a friend and some mini dinos and you have Prehysteria! 2.  With that being said, it's pretty much a copy and paste story from the first with kids trying to hide dinos.  It's fun and I can marathon it with the first and third film but it is a little repetitive.  Finally, the film doesn't try to do as many visual effects as the first.  We have the same animatronics as the first film and that's the extent of it.  Overall, Prehysteria! 2 is one of the many films that made me the movie fan I am today.  I owe this film so much but I'm not blind to it's short comings.  It's fun and I highly recommend checking out the blu from Full Moon.  

The Island of the Fishmen

Director - Sergio Martino (Torso, Hands of Steel)

Starring - Barbara Bach (Black Belly of the Tarantula, The Legend of Sea Wolf), Claudio Cassinelli (The Scorpion with Two Tails, Slave of the Cannibal Gods), and Richard Johnson (Zombie, The Haunting)

Release Date - 1979

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Killers from the deep guard the forbidden treasure on... "

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Most people remember a movie and can be quick to pick out little details from the most random scenes.  Though, I have been known to do that with specific films, I often remember movies from a different perspective.  I remember what I was doing or the environment from when I first watched a film.  As a nostalgic person I like to reminisce about these memories.  The reason I'm talking about this is because I remember a friend of mine buying a VHS lot from someone.  I can't remember the specifics on where he got it from but I remember the movies that he got and we watched, or at least attempted to, one weekend.  He snagged Dawn of the Dead, Human Target, Die Hard, a Fu Man Chu flick, and Screamers.  Sadly, Screamers and the Fu Man Chu flick didn't work.  That movie stood out to me because the tagline didn't match the synopsis on the back.  Anyway, some time passed and I completely forgot about the film until Full Moon announced that it was getting a blu release under the title The Island of the Fishmen which is the film's original title.  The movie was also released under Something Waits in the Dark, however, Full Moon went with the more fitting original title.  I reached out to my friends over at MVD, who was handling the physical release, and they were kind enough to send a copy my way.  

     The film follows a prison lieutenant and a handful of prisoners who find themselves stranded and an unknown island when their prison freight sinks.  The island is home to an eccentric man and a woman he longs to turn into his own.  He has turned the local population of primitives into his workers and they are secretly using a professor, her father, to trick a race of underwater creatures to bring them their valuables in exchange for a drug.  However, greed and lust gets the best of him and soon the lieutenant is forced to fight for his life as things come to a boil.

      I know, I know.  My break down of the synopsis is a bit confusing but the film is fucking wild.  I would be here all day picking it apart if I wanted to do it justice.  I loved it, so don't get me wrong, but the story is so fucking absurd and wild.  You truly have to see this film to appreciate how ambitious the story truly is.  I commend Full Moon for giving genre fans this underrated classic.  The acting in this one is a lot of fun.  I really enjoyed the wide array of characters and how the cast portrayed them.  What I enjoyed most about the film is that no one out stages the other.  Everyone is on the same level and which makes the scenes even more entertaining.  The story for this one is not what you would consider a straight forward horror tale.  We have elements of crime, sci-fi, drama, and a light dose of romance.  It really works together giving the viewer something a little different.  It doesn't really live up to the tagline for the Screamers release but we've all seen films that had false marketing.  With that aside, I really enjoyed the horror and adventure aspect of the film and how we have a nautical terror that wasn't a shark.  Finally, the film has a lot of campy deaths that have bright red blood and minimal effects.  The creatures were a lot of fun in a late night drive-in kind of way but don't expect a blood bath.  Overall, The Island of the Fishmen is a film I never hear genre fans talk about which is a damn shame.  I had a lot of fun with it and I hope other do themselves a favor and snag a copy of this from Full Moon.  It's worth every penny.