Friday, May 31, 2013

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie

Director - Bryan Spicer (The X-Files)
Starring - Jason David Frank (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers), Paul Freeman (Hot Fuzz), and Nicholas Bell (Don't Be Afraid of the Dark)
Release Date - 1995
Genre - Comedy/Action/Fantasy/Adventure/Sci-Fi
Tagline(s) - "Six teenagers have discovered the power to fight the forces of evil. Now the fate of the universe is in their hands" "The power of teamwork overcomes all" "Each has a power. Each has a purpose, and togther they will face their greatest adventure" and "You ooze you lose"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):
    When people first meet me they quickly discover my love for horror, however, over time they are shocked when they find out my deep love for the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and any other geeky show from my childhood.  When I was growing up everyone knew not to mess with me while MMPR was on and when I was older I got the original megazord tattooed on my leg (no, I am not ashamed).   Also, when I was younger I can remember two movies that I was so excited to see that I almost threw up because I was so impatient.  Those two movies were The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers and Space Jam.  I was so excited to see the MMPR movie that I cried multiple times because my dad would not take me.  So I had to wait until it was released on VHS and over the years the VHS stopped working because I watched it so many times.  I finally broke down and ordered the DVD not too long ago.
      The film follows the power rangers (if you don't know who they are then get the hell off my blog you piece of shit) as they face their biggest foe yet.  The cosmic villain, Ivan Ooze, has been released from his ancient slumber by the evil Rita and Lord Zedd.  Ivan then traps them both in a snow globe and destroys Zordon's secret lair.  The power rangers lose their power and Alpha-5 sends them to a planet that has the only power source in the universe with enough power to save Zordon and the world.  On that planet they meet a mysterious lady that tells them about the great power and the quest they will have to complete in order to obtain that power.  The power rangers complete that task and head back to Earth and defeat Ooze and saving Zordon.
     This movie was the perfect film until I hit puberty.  Hell, even after then it was still fun as hell.  The movie is just the perfect children's film and ties the 1st and 2nd season of the show together perfectly making this movie a smooth continuation of the show.  The acting in this one is the same quality as you got in the television show.  The cast portraying the power rangers are actually the downside to the cast while Paul Freeman (Ivan Ooze) steals the show and does an amazing job.  I quote a lot of movies, and even more when I am drinking, and Ooze's lines are among those I often quote.  The story fit the MMPR universe perfectly and helps craft one amazing film that I still love today.  I personally know people that hated the show growing up and loved the movie and that speaks volumes about how entertaining this is.  Finally, the film has some amazing special effects that we often do not get in a children's film.  However, we also get some of the worst CGI to accompany it.  I even noticed how bad it was when I was little.  A movie of this caliber should have had better CGI or at least try to put it on the same level as the television show.  Overall, this is one hell of a film that everyone should watch and have in their collection.  I recommend it.


Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mr. Rape's First Date

aka M.R.F.D.

Director - Nik Box (Brutal Jesus and the House of Wasted Youth, She's Dead)
Starring - Scarlet Brooke, Pete Spreadz, Gerald Steel (Game Over)
Release Date - 2013
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "He's getting lucky if she likes it or not"
Format - Streaming (Youtube screener)

Rating (out of 5):
     Director Nik Box is a man I greatly admire.  When I first started writing reviews I covered his film Brutal Jesus and the House of Wasted Youth.  I utterly despised that film and my review showed that.  Box found my little blog and sent me a message.  Until that time I had never been in contact with film makers, actors, actresses, and so forth so it was a big deal to me.  Sure, I did not like his film but the fact he took his own money and time to make a film garnered my respect.  We spoke via email for awhile and he then sent me two more films to review.  I liked the following two and have been following his work ever since.  Around this time he revealed that he would be making a film titled Mr. Rape's First Date.  I was a little concerned about the movie.  I would watch it out of respect for Box but rape is a touchy subject and done wrong could end with a shitty film and no taste.
     The film takes place in the future where all forms of media and entertainment is banned.  The crime rates are down and education is up, however, there is that 1% that are below those standards.  Meet Mr. Rape.  He is a man haunted by his name and forced to wear mask to hide from ridicule.  One day, while walking along the shore, he finds an old monitor and begins to see a vision.  The vision tells him about the world before everything was censored.  The vision then convinces him to head out and have a little fun...against a young woman's will.  Mr. Rape seeks out a young lady and has his way with her, however, after his forced game of in out in out she gets her revenge!
     Like I said before, I was worried about how Box would take the concept of rape.  However, I am happy to say that he does understand the impact of handling rape the wrong and made one hell of a film out of it.  I love Box's originality while still throwing nods to classic films in his films.  Without giving the ending away I just want to mention that you need to watch for the I Spit on Your Grave reference.  I don't know if the reference was intended or pure coincidental but it was cool never the less.  The acting in this is hard to determine because of the style Box chose to shoot the film.  There is no real dialogue other than a man telling his tell about raping a woman and a woman telling the tragic events that befell her.  The story is original and is very effective for a short.  If the film was much longer then it wouldn't have worked so well.  In fact, the film could have been shortened even further in my honest opinion.  Some of the scenes involving the dialogue of the raped girl and rapist just seem to drag on a little too long and take way from the overall film.  Finally, we do not get any real special effects, instead, we get great tension and atmosphere combining with a great twist at the end.  Overall, Box has crafted another great film and is making a name for himself in the indie community.  I highly recommend this one.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Alien Agenda: Project Grey

aka Project Grey: Director's Cut

Director - Christian Blaze (Till Death) and Crystal-Dawn Rosales (Till Death)
Starring - Christian Blaze, Justin Stillwell (Dead Like Me, The Dead Zone), and Allison Warnyca (Psych, Supernatural)
Release Date - 2007
Genre - Horror/Sci-Fi
Tagline - " Every truth has a shade of grey..."
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):
      The X-Files is one of my favorite television shows of all time.  I can honestly get lost in the episodes and not be seen for days when on an X-Files binge.  As much as I like the X-Files I am not a fan of alien abduction stories or films and I honestly despise conspiracy theories.  I honestly do not find that stuff interesting but I do not judge those that do.  I know this sounds funny coming from someone who has an interest in cyptozoology but its whatever.  When I got in contact with the Sloppy the Psychotic page they were nice enough to send me a few other films to review and this was one of them.  I decided to review them all because they were nice enough to send them to me but at the same time I was going to be honest with my review.  So thank you for the films!
     The film follows a group of twenty-somethings as they head out in to the woods for a little camping trip. One of the guys is planning on proposing to his girlfriend but finds her riding his friend.  The next day he wakes him up to take him on a hike with plans on shooting him.  However, his friend gets the upper hand and shoots him.  He goes back to the others and pretends nothing happens.  Everyone else starts to wonder where he has got off to and then begin worry when he does not return.  They search the entire day and are unable to find him.  That night he opens the door and finds three aliens trying to get him.  He shoots all three and then locks himself in the house until that morning.  When morning approaches he leaves the cabin and finds he had shot the other campers.  He gets in a car and drives off before wrecking.  When he awakens he is in a mental hospital where it is revealed that aliens have placed a device under his skin and are controlling his mind and made him think he was the other camper (the one that slept with his girlfriend).  A Russian mercenary team remove him from the hospital and take him somewhere to remove the device before the alien invaders can attack...but they are too late.
     Before I started watching this movie I just assumed it was your typical sci-fi film involving aliens and some sort of government conspiracy.  However, I was way off and once again proves that I judge movies by the artwork way too much.  The acting in this one is a little on the bad side.  The main two actors, Blaze and Stillwell, did a good job in their roles but the remainder of the cast made the film very hard to follow.  The story was very ambitious with all the plot twists and combining of the horror and sci-fi genre.  Unfortunately,  Most of it did not unfold on screen very well and only made the film feel unorganized and cluttered.  Finally, the film does have a lot of practical and CGI effects.  The practical effects we do get are very decent even though we it is not a lot.  The CGI, however, is in abundance.  Some of the CGI effects looks decent but most is very bad and made most of the film laughable at best.  The film would have been a lot more enjoyable if the CGI was more consistent throughout instead of making me think I was watching a Sy-Fy channel original.  Overall, this is a decent horror/sci-fi hybrid that does entertain slightly the first time around but has no replay value.      

Monday, May 27, 2013

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Director - Bob Clark (Black Christmas, Porky's, A Christmas Story)
Starring - Alan Ormsby (Deathdream), Valerie Mamches (Wanda), and Jeff Gillen (A Christmas Story)
Release Date - 1973
Genre- Horror
Tagline(s) - " You're Invited To Orville's "Coming-Out" Party...It'll Be A Scream...yours" and " Experience the unexpected terror of rising rotting flesh..."\
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Double Feature with The Undertaker and his Pals)

Rating (out of 5):
     When I entered high school my horror fascination was full swing.  I would often go to Wal-Mart, Blockbuster, the local ma and pop's video shops, and to order numerous horror films but my knowledge of certain sub-genres was lacking. My sophomore year I met a guy who I would become very close friends with and he would broaden my horror horizons.  I would often stay over at his house on the weekends and have what we called fright nights and watch movies until we saw daylight.  It was with him that I watched a lot of the films that I love today for the first time.  Movies like Bad Taste, The Beyond, Horror Rises from the Tomb, and this film here. 
     The film follows a theater group as they head out to a small island where criminals are laid to rest.  The group's leader, Alan (Ormsby), is an asshole and brought the group to the island to perform a satanic ritual to raise the dead.  However, his ritual does not work.  Alan, a man not to let failure ruin a good time, digs up a corpse named Orville and takes him back to the cabin where they all will be staying.  He plays games with Orville and disrespects him in front of everyone.  Sadly, the dead in the graveyard have had enough and rise from the Earth.  The dead eat their way through the theater group leaving Alan to get what he truly deserves at the hands of Orville.
     I am very disappointed with the state zombie movies are in.  The sudden urge with apocalyptic zombie films has completely wiped the stage of any originality.  Films like Dead Season, State of Emergency, any another other zombie film you can find at Wal-Mart released after 2010 are all the same movie with different cast members.  Zombie movies following Night of the Living Dead in 1968 were amazing for the most part and leading the pack were Italian zombie flicks.  However, there were a few American and Canadian films that had a lot of the same elements as their Italian counterparts.  CSPwDT uses a lot of the same, for lack of a better word, cliches as the Italian films did like the slow moving zombies, religious and satanic elements, crawling from graves, and just all around bad ass.  I have watched this movie literally 20 to 30 times since I graduated in 2005 and love it even more after each viewing.  The acting in this one is decent, however, Alan Ormsby steals the fucking show.  He hardly carries on any conversation with the cast, instead, he speaks in amazing one liners that I often quote in my daily life.  It is really a damn shame he did not continue a career in front of the camera.  The story is very weak but Bob Clark is a master of taking something simple and turning it into an amazing film.  Hell, look at his filmography and you will see what I mean.  Finally, the special effects are hit and miss.  The zombies look great and when I think about what the perfect zombie looks like this is often one of the movies I think of.  Unfortunately, the few deaths we do get on screen are nothing special. They are, without a doubt, the weakest part of the film.  Some better gore and on screen deaths would have made this film a juggernaut of a flick in the zombie sub-genre.  Overall, this is an underrated zombie classic that should be watched by anyone that calls themselves a horror fan.  I highly recommend it.      


Richie Rich

Director - Donald Petrie (Grumpy Old Men)
Starring - Macaulay Culkin (The Pagemaster), John Larroquette (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre), and Jonathan Hyde (Anaconda)
Release Date - 1994
Genre - Children's/Comedy/Adventure
Tagline(s) - "An adventure so big... even the world's richest kid can't afford to miss it" "Five buddies, one butler, and a dog on an adventure so big... Even the world's richest kid can't afford to miss it" and "Without the inventions, the butler, and the private fast-food restaurant...he's just a normal 12-year-old billionaire"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):
      Ritchie Rich is a special movie for me.  Not only did I absolutely love it when I was little but it was also the first VHS I added to my collection.  I remember the day very well when my Dad got me my first copy.  Not long after that I started collecting the Goosebumps VHS releases and thus spiraling down the dark road of collecting.  After I left for college this was sadly one of the films that my sister decided to sell because she is a stupid bitch.  I lost this, my entire Goosebumps VHS collection, and well over a few 100 DVDs.  So one day I was feeling nostalgic and went ahead and ordered the DVD to add to my collection.    
    The story follows a 12 year old boy whose parents just happen to be billionaires.  Having all the money in the world comes at a price.  Richie is missing out on a real American childhood because of his father's fortune.  The other children his age are out playing baseball and other everyday activities, however, Richie has to attend a private school where other kids his age are preparing for their futures running their parent's companies.  One day Richie meets a gang of kids playing baseball while making a public appearance for his father.  The group becomes friends with Richie and that comes at the perfect time.  The accountant for Richie's father is planning on killing his father and mother and sabotage their plane.  Their plane goes down in the ocean but they survive and use a gadget called the Dad Link to reach Richie.  However, the asshole accountant finds out and rescues them just to bribe them into giving him the "treasures" in their vault.  It is up to Richie and his new found friends to save the them.
     The 80's was a decade that made some of the best films, however, the 90s is remembered as a decade that many film fans have panned.  I personally believed that some of the best movies aimed for children came from the 90s.  Looking back I could name hundreds of great children films like Small Soldiers, Space Jam, Air Bud, Angels in the Outfield, and so forth.  These movies are remarkable and I'm sure these will be shown to my children if I ever have any. That brings me to my review and why this movie is on my blog.  Sadly, a lot of people have forgotten this classic children's flick.  Hopefully my review will intrigue those that have not and they will venture out and get it.  The acting in this is what you would expect from a film of this caliber.  I don't really care that much for Culkin other than this movie.  The story is nothing amazing but can entertain a kid the entire time. This is the kind of film you can put on for your kids and know they will like it.  Finally, the special effects in this one is very dated but it does not take away from the film.  Overall, this is a classic that has faded from memory and that is a crime.  I highly recommend it.