Thursday, November 30, 2017

Two Female Spies in Flower Panties


Director - Jess Franco (Lust for Frankenstein, Bloody Moon)
Starring - Lina Romay (Helter Skelter, Vampire Junction), Nadine Pascal (Zombie Lake, Caged Women), and Olivier Mathot (Cannibal Terror, Devil's Kiss)
Release Date - 1980
Genre - Drama
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):
     Since Thanksgiving I haven't watched that many horror films.  It has nothing to do with the holiday.  I've just found myself drawn to exploitation and 80s comedies more than horror...and before you even say it.  No, I'm not going soft!  After the sexploitation flick Matinee Idol and the 80s romance comedy My Chauffeur I gave the found footage film about the mothman a look.  After Moth let me down I decided to take another step away from my beloved genre When I looked through the review stack I came across the Jess Franco erotic drama Two Female Spies in Flower Panties.  This Severin release was sent my way by my friends over at CAV.  Thank you!
     The film follows two female prisoners with extraordinary bodies and hips that move for days.  They are recruited by the government due to their ability to sway men with their erotic dancing.  They are sent in to find the location of a young woman that was recently kidnapped.  The woman is kidnapped by a sexually perverse couple who repeatedly rape and torture her in hopes she will fall in love with them but soon the spies with the flower panties are able to find her.

   
     Jess Franco is a love hate relationship with me.  The movies I like of his I really like.  They are phenomenal pieces of exploitation cinema.  Most are sexy, slightly bloody, and the stories are insane.  With that being said, there are some Franco movies that I can't make it through.  The stories are so bland and the characters are completely obnoxious.  Lucky for me, Two Female Spies in Flower Panties was one of the enjoyable ones.  The acting in this one isn't the best I've seen but was leagues above the worst.  The characters are very lively and high spirited but the cast has a hard time focusing on their dialogue.  They just spit their words out like diarrhea of the mouth with no attempt at finding the proper emotion.  They still crafted some entertaining characters but some of the scenes are difficult to watch.  The story for this one is crazy and it works.  An exploitation film following two strippers turned spies to capture a sex crazed couple who has kidnapped a famous women is completely bat shit crazy but by god it holds the viewer's attention.  I loved how out there it is but there was some slower scenes that will try the viewer's patience but suffering through these are worth it.  Finally, if you want blood and gore you will have to look elsewhere.  However, if you want sexy women in an erotic exploitation film from cinema renegade Jess Franco this one is for you!




Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Moth


Director(s) - Gergo Elekes (Bodom, Blue Dream) and Jozsef Gallai (09.12.04, Bodom)
Starring - Lidia Szabo, Jozsef Gallai, and Balint Egri
Release Date - 2016
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "The legend has returned"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):
     I'd be hard pressed to find someone from the mountain state that has not heard to story of the Mothman of Point Pleasant.  The Mothman has been fascinating people for decades now and has earned its place a spot among Patty and Nessie as a beloved cryptid.  Over the years there has been several films and documentaries inspired by this West Virginia tale.  Movies like The Mothman Prophecies, The Mothman's Curse, The Mothman of Point Pleasant, Eyes of the Mothman, Mothman, and the 2016 found footage film Moth.  Sometime ago my friends over at Wild Eye Releasing released this U.K. based film on DVD.  They were kind enough to send a copy my way.  Thanks guys for allowing Horror Society and myself the opportunity to check it out.
     The film follows a professor who is studying a new wave of Mothman sighting in the U.K. and decides to go investigate them with a student.  They head out to the area where a majority of the sightings occurred and discover abandoned cars and no sign of human life.  Will their investigation into the unknown lead them to the scientific find of the century or will they come face to face with a monster from the legends?
   

      I guess I hold stories about my home state in high regard and for that I am a little biased.  If it looks like I am being a little too harsh on the film I apologize.  I mean no disrespect.  I do have an interest in cryptozoology and the Mothman just happens to be one of my favorite cryptids.  With that being said, Moth was not one I particularly cared for.  The acting in this one is decent considering the cast has no real prior experience.  They take charge of their roles but their lack of experience shows in almost every scene.  They really give it their all but struggle with making the dialogue feel genuine.  It is because of this that several of the scenes are awkward to watch.  The story for this one is hit and miss with me.  The film begins with a brief overview of the legend of the Mothman and the Silver Bridge collapse in Point Pleasant.  The film then quickly switches gears and we dive straight into the story already told in the first Blair Witch film.  We follow two people as they go to where the Mothman was sighted in order to document proof that it actually exists in a similar fashion to BW.  Sadly, this portion of the film completely abandons the Mothman mythos.  Each and every scene is full of dialogue that just drags the film on.  So much so that I believe the dialogue was adlibbed.  At times the dialogue is pointless and has no conviction what so ever.  The director needed to be a little more hands on.  Finally, if you want a blood bath you wont find it here.  Hell, if you want a blood bath you shouldn't watch any film about the Mothman.  The film itself focuses on story and trying to make the found footage angle look authentic.  Overall, Moth just wasn't for me.  Even if it wasn't about a cryptid I enjoy the film itself was still falling short.  The story is predictable and unoriginal and the acting needed improvement.  Overall, I would recommend checking out Mountain Devil if you want some cryptid mayhem from Wild Eye.  




Tuesday, November 28, 2017

My Chauffeur


Director - David Beaird (The Party Animal, Scorchers)
Starring - Deborah Foreman (April Fool's Day, Waxwork), Sam J. Jones (Flash Gordon, Ted), and Sean McClory (Them, The Outer Limits)
Release Date - 1986
Genre - Comedy/Romance
Tagline - "He fell in love with the help.  Beverly Hills will never be the same"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):
     When I watch a bad movie I typically find myself in a rut where the next three or four movies are bad.  It happens.  I can't like every movie and I refuse to lie in my reviews.  If I don't like it you better believe my review will show it.  After watching KillerSaurus and Matinee Idol I was almost certain that my next film would not be great as well.  After watching Matinee Idol I decided to keep it Vinegar Syndrome and tossed in My Chauffeur.  This 1986 romance comedy was a new one on me but when I tossed it in I never expected to love it as much as I did.  I want to thank Vinegar Syndrome for not only sending the film my way but for releasing this movie on blu.  If it wasn't for them I would have never heard of this underrated classic!
     The film follows a high sprung young lady (Foreman) who was mysteriously invited to work for the Brentwood Limousine company.  The company is male dominate and they immediately resent her for being different.  She was secretly hired because the owner of the company suspects she may be his daughter and wants her to have a stable job.  Over time she gets the hang of it and inadvertently falls in love with one of her clients...which just happens to be the owner's son.  Are they siblings or is she found someone that truly makes her happy?
     It's rare that I can sit through a romantic comedy but this one had me clued to the screen.  I blame the exceptional writing and the lively characters for making this film stand out against the other films trying to capture what this one does perfectly.  The acting in this one is fantastic.  The entire cast delivers top notch performances.  I absolutely loved Deborah Foreman.  She was amazing in her role.  If I would have saw this movie when I was younger I would have instantly fell in love with her. She was mesmerizing, sporadic, and completely amazing.  My new mission is life is to collect all her films.  Mark that down.  Her co-star, Sam J. Jones, was great as well.  I was a huge Flash Gordon fan as a kid but I don't recall seeing him in anything else.  It was cool seeing him take on something other than intergalactic adventures.  The supporting cast was fun as well.  They all had lavish characters that refused to not stand out.  The story for this one is more comedy than romance which is the way it should be!  The romance angle takes the backseat and the comedy reigns supreme.  The scenes are fast paced and full of humor.  The characters are always developing which leaves the viewer glued in.  Finally, this one doesn't have and blood and gore.  It does have some humor that is perfectly spaced throughout the film.  The timing is on point and the jokes really do work well.  For a romance comedy it is pretty fucking funny.  Overall, My Chauffeur was not what I was expecting which is a good thing.  The film has the perfect cast and tons of jokes.  I can't recommend this one enough!




Matinee Idol


Director - Henri Parchard (The Neon Bed, Deep Seven)
Starring - Jesie St. James (Ah Caramba, Going Wild), John Leslie (Dixie Ray Hollywood Star, Dog Walker), and Herschel Savage (52 Pick Up, Faithless)
Release Date -1984
Genre - Drama/Erotic
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     With Thanksgiving behind us and holiday hours taking over the store my stress levels are starting to rise.  Christmas is coming and my day job is extending hours longer than I am accustomed to.  On top of that, we are hitting the holidays with a new addition on the way.  With my spare time limited I wanted something fun to check out and doesn't require a lot of brain power to sit through.  I immediately set my sights on Vinegar Syndrome and one of their sleazy releases.  Next on the chopping block is the 1984 sleazy drama Matinee Idol.  I want to thank Vin Syn for sending this one my way and offering up some mindless entertainment for the working class man!
     This film follows two major adult film stars, Linda Hand (St. James) and Lance Hardy (Leslie), who have let their stardom get to their heads.  Both consider themselves icons in the erotic film business but they are jealous of the other's success.  During a scene with each other Linda bites Hardy on is part and he now refuses to work with her.  The production company is out of money if they can't get the two together so they set in play a series of events to try to get them to kiss and make up (out). 
     I've always liked exploitation and sleazy flicks but I never got into the hardcore side of sexploitation until I started reviewing Vinegar Syndrome's releases.  Some have been pretty entertaining while others were a little rough to watch.  Matinee Idol is right down the middle of the road.  It had some entertaining moments but just couldn't keep me watching.  The acting in this one is solid.  A majority of the cast is adult film stars so their acting is a little over-dramatic at times.  These scenes were clich├ęd but they were still entertaining.  Most of the time I don't enjoy overacting but here its funny instead of awkward.  The cast is natural in their own skin and on camera which was the perfect combination for a sexploitation flick.  The story for this one was drawn out for far too long.  The story, like most films of it's kind, is simple and stretched to reach a feature length running time.  To fill in the gaps (literally) we have several sex scenes and scenes full of pointless dialogue.  The story would have been better, or at least tolerable, if the film was edited shorter.  Finally, no blood or gore for you bloodhounds.  Instead, we get an oversexed cast with flat characters and an extremely bland story.  Overall, Matinee Idol is not a story driven sexploitation flick that I enjoy.  The film is more hardcore with a plot which just doesn't hold my attention.  If you want sex over anything else then you may enjoy this.  If you want story I would recommend checking out another Vin Syn release.  




Sunday, November 26, 2017

KillerSaurus


Director - Steve Lawson (Nocturnal Activity, Hellriser)
Starring - Julian Boote (Evil Souls, Jack the Giant Killer), Adam Collins (Justice League, Peaky Binders), and Helen Crevel (Essex Heist, Survival Instinct)
Release Date - 2015
Genre - Horror/Sci-Fi
Tagline - "Part human.  Part dinosaur.  All Soldier"

Rating (out of 5):

     The last few weeks I have been obsessed with the video game Ark: Survival Evolved.  This online game pits the player and their "tribe" against others on an island where you can tame prehistoric dinosaurs and animals.  Sounds stupid typing it out but I absolutely love it.  The game is a more polished 7 Days to Die with the zombies replaced with dinos.  I spend most of my spare time playing it after work and posts for Horror Society so I have a fair bit of knowledge about the game by this point.  With dinosaurs taking over so much of my time I decided to take a break from gameplay so I could watch a movie and review it.  When I started looking for my next victim I remembered that Wild Eye released the sci-fi horror film KillerSaurus about a science experiment gone wrong involving a t-rex.  This was the perfect time to check it out.
     The film follows a former lab assistant who is no longer employed after an experiment she was working on resulted in the death of one of her colleagues.  It has been 3 months since the accident and her boyfriend, who just happens to be a freelance journalist convinces her to go back to the facility so he can get the scoop on the secret experiments to make some quick cash.  Once inside he is confronted with an evil he could never imagine along with an organization that wants to weaponize the abomination.
     Wild Eye is one of my favorite distribution companies.  If they release a film you can better believe I'm going to watch the mother fucker.  As much as I love them they have release a few that I just didn't care for.  Dario Argento has the Card Player and George A. Romero has Bruiser so it would be silly to expect fans to love everything you favorite director or distribution company releases.  KillerSaurus wasn't for me.  I like what they started with but as the film progressed it just wasn't where I was hoping for.  The acting in this one is solid.  The cast was surprisingly natural in front of the camera and after checking their imdb.com pages I can see why.  Some of the characters were a little underdeveloped but the cast is able to work with what they were given to give the viewer some solid performances.  The story for this one starts out promising and knows where its going but is unable to get the viewer there without falling asleep.  The dinosaur/human hybrid and the secret experiment was fun.  I could see this one being a tribute to the sci-fi creature features of the 50s.  Sadly, the film is full of horribly written dialogue that slows the film down to the point you are forcing yourself to stay awake. If you need an energy drink and a finger up your ass to stay awake you know the writing is all wrong.   Finally, the film does have a few on screen kills and a slew of effects.  The kills we do get are not that entertaining.  In fact, they are down right forgettable but we do get some pretty cool old school visual effects with the rex.  I really enjoyed this technique to get it on the screen and wish more films would get back to this type of effects.  Overall, KillerSaurus was an awesome idea but not the best execution.  The film needs to be rewritten and a lot of the scenes tightened up.  Otherwise, it is a slow moving snoozer.