Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Necro Files 3000

Director - Matt Jaissle (Revolution 666, The Necro Files)
Release Date - 2017
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Just when you thought it was safe to violate the dead"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):
      I couldn't imagine being an indie horror filmmaker in the 90s.  Now people have the convenience of sharing their films in horror groups on social media and the dozens of horror dedicated sites but in the 90s all you had was yourself and anyone willing to buy it at cons, yard sales, and local video stores.  Sure, there was horror forums but in the 90s they were very basic and mostly dedicated to pop horror or faux snuff flicks.  Most of these no budget fright flicks have now fell into obscurity or found new releases with several indie distribution companies like Videonomicon.  Sometime ago I came across a post in a horror forum for the indie production company VidEvil Video.  Owner and director Matt Jaissle was sharing awareness of his then new film Revolution 666.  I spoke with him about the film and his label and he was kind enough to send a review copy my way along with a copy of his 1997 release The Necro Files.  This was completely new to me which really excited me.  I watched and really enjoyed it and soon Jaissle announced a sequel and was kind enough to send it my way as well.  Thank you Matt.
     The film picks up 20 years after the events in The Necro Files.  We follow a reporter who suspects that the killer from the murders in 1997 has made his return.  He tries to enlist a professor who studies the occult to help him but the professor refuses.  It's not until the journalist witnesses the murder of a cam model that he is able to convince the reluctant professor into helping him stop the killer before he takes over the world.
     I'm shocked by what Matt Jaissle and company did with Necro Files 3000.  The first Necro Files film is a trashy fun no budget production that has plenty of gore and what the fuck moments.  I love how ballsy the film is and how much it looks like a lost S.O.V. horror film from the late 80s and early 90s.  The fact that he took such a different approach really shocks me and I commend him for thinking outside the box.  The voice acting in this one is not the best but for an indie production it is pretty damn good.  I have seen some pretty entertaining indie animated/puppet films where the cast is speaking in monotone or didn't match the speed of the film.  This makes some important scenes lose impact when the viewer is trying to play catch up with the movement because the audio is out of sync by just a second.  NF 3000 did not have that problem but they did have a difficult time bringing emotion to the characters through their dialogue.  This doesn't make the film difficult to watch but it does make some of the scenes dry.  The story for this one is an absurd follow up to a story that is textbook example of what it meant to be an S.O.V. horror flick in the 90s.  The cult following the serial killer is almost clich├ęd in terms of S.O.V. horror but Jaissle completely flipped the script and tossed in many more horror elements along with modern trends.  The story mixes up the occult, zombies, slashers, and jungle cannibal films while tossing in modern aspects such as cam girls and so on to make this film feel totally different.  With all that being said, the film should be viewed as a comedy.  The humor is mostly low brow and is overlooked by the dialogue delivery.  The film was not meant to be taken seriously so the viewer should know this before hand.  Finally, the film has plenty of blood and gore.  In fact, it has more than I was expecting considering the style of film.  The effects are funny and cleverly done which added even more enjoyment to the overall film.  Overall, Necro Files 3000 is a fun sequel that gives the viewer's something they were not expecting.  I thoroughly enjoy a film that catches the viewer off guard and NF 3000 did just that.  Check it out.  If you don't laugh you may need to seek counseling. 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Science Crazed

Director - Ron Switzer
Starring - Cameron Scholes, Tony Della Ventura, and Robin Hartsell
Release Date - 1991
Genre - Sci-fi/Horror
Tagline - "something is very wrong in research and development"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Many years ago, 20 years to be exact, I set out to collect movies.  A friend of mine had purchased a DVD player and upgraded a few of his tapes to DVD.  He was a close friend and gave me some of his tapes after he made the upgrade.  We were kids and this gesture struck me hard when he did.  I really appreciated the gesture and refused to get rid of them.  I would still have them to this day if someone hadn't stole them from me.  This one particular incident resulted in me collecting movies and since then I have never looked back.  Once I had some to call my own I wanted them all.  Now, my main goal is to collect every horror movie released.  I know it will never happen because there are thousands of films made that were never released or received a proper release.  One such film is Science Crazed.  This Canadian sci-fi/horror mash up was recently released on DVD for the first time by my friends over at Videonomicon who was kind enough to hook me up with a review copy.  Thanks guys!
     The film follows a scientist who is forcefully removed from a scientific institute after he is caught conducting unethical experiments.  He is on the verge of an important breakthrough so he rushes to his lab where he inject an unsuspecting woman with his special with kills her after she gives birth to a man sized monster.  Now the beast is killing everyone it comes in contact with.

     Science Crazed was one of those releases I heard about through several horror friends who picked up the Videonomicon release.  The film was cheap, horrible, and right up my alley. Sadly, it wasn't put together that well and did not sit well with me.  The acting in this one if horrible.  Not Ogroff or Bloodbath in the House of Knives bad but bad none-the-less.  The cast shows that they have no direction or idea where they are going with their dialogue.  I don't no if they had a script that they loosely followed or what but the acting is laughable.  The story for this one is almost wore out by this point.  There had been countless mad scientist flicks that pushed experiments too far resulting in a horrible creature being born.  This goes all the way to the fiction written by Mary Shelley.  What makes this story stand out from the others is...nothing.  Not a damn thing.  The film does nothing to try and differentiate itself from the hundreds of clones.  The film moves painfully slow and is very repetitive.  Once it gets in the groove it does nothing to break the cycle which gets old very, very quickly.  Finally, this film has plenty of blood.   The effects are very minimal and basic so the kills are not that impressive at all.  In fact, they are pretty lame and quickly forgettable.  Overall, Science Crazed is a mad scientist gone too far film done wrong.  Fans of obscure horror and no budget schlock will love it but those of you that was a well rounded film will be very disappointed.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

She Kills

She Gets Revenge the Only Way She Knows How... With Her STD Satan Infected Vagina!

Sadie's life is destroyed when a vicious gang called 'The Touchers' targets her for their sadistic fantasies after witnessing her sexy but innocent naked frolicking in a nearby field. On her wedding night they attack her and her husband Edward, brutalizing both of them. But during the attack the virgin bride discovers a dangerous secret about her body - she is cursed with the legendary 'Fire Crotch,' a condition where Satan has laid claim to her vagina. After visiting her fortune teller friend Casparella, a space exorcism is attempted on her meat flaps, but it only ends up unlocking secret hidden powers inside her. Her hatchet wound becomes lethal, her most deadly weapon in her thirst for revenge against The Touchers and her fight against lustful men everywhere! A comedy horror homage to Grindhouse and Drive-In movies of the 70's!

Trailer reel
Director Ron Bonk commentary
Director and lead actress Jennie Russo commentary
Director and producer Jonathan Straiton commentary
Director and composer Emmett Van Slyke comentary
Closed captioning

Saturday, April 22, 2017


Director - N. G. Mount (Dinosaur from the Deep, Brooklyn Cop)
Starring - Robert Alaux (Le Clown Necrophile), Francoise Deniel (Sanguine), and Pierre Pattin (Sidewalks of Bangkok)
Release Date - 1983
Genre - Horror
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     A few years back, possibly around 2013, an S.O.V. inspired slasher was released.  The filmmaker went above and beyond to make the film look authentic and for the most part he succeeded.  In fact, the film looked so much like an S.O.V. film rediscovered and transferred to DVD that it tricked a reviewer (not me) into believing that the film was actually a lost film. The review has since been removed.  Since I was shown that review I have been terrified that I will be tricked by an indie director into believing that he had found a lost S.O.V. flick.  Case in point, Ogroff aka Mad Mutilator.  I got the movie from my new friends over at Videonomicon to review.  A previously unreleased 80s horror film is a must see for me so I reached out to them and they were kind enough to send a review copy my way.  Once I got the film I started looking for VHS art and other info before I checked it out and was shocked by how I could only find images for the Videonomicon releases.  Was this an authentic 80s horror flick or was I tricked?  Thanks Videonomicon for hooking me up!
     The film follows a maniac in a mask as he kills any and everyone that he crosses paths with.  We witness several innocent people who comes in contact with the masked man and find themselves on the business end of his ax.  Also, he dry humps his ax in his spare time.

     I'll be completely honest and say that I had very low expectations for this film.  If a movie was even halfway decent then someone would have picked it up and released it before now.  With that thought lingering in my mind like a beefy burrito fart I went into this film ready to be disappointed but was shocked by how much fun I actually had.  Don't get me wrong, the movie is horrible but it was still extremely enjoyable.  The acting in this one is atrocious.  The cast has no experience, shows no dedication to character, and makes no attempt at acting.  They get in front of the camera and act a fool until they are brutally murder.  This movie has some of the worst acting I have ever seen and I loved every minute of it.  It fit the movie perfectly.  The story for this one is non-existent.  We follow a masked buffoon as he kills people before stroking his ax.  Literally nothing to it and definitely not enough to make a movie that is over an hour long but by god they did and you can't stop watching.  Finally, the film is full of kills that use some of the cheapest effects I have ever seen.  They looked horrendous but, once again, it fit the movie perfectly and added even more enjoyment to the overall appearance.  Overall, Ogroff is a fucking train wreck of a film but you can't stop watching.  This is one of those films that is so bad it's good and I can't recommend it enough.  Check it out.  

The Carnage Collection

Director(s) - Bob Ferreira, Derek Ferreira, and Kimball Rowell
Starring - Tiera Colette, Derek Ferreira, and Bob Ferreira
Release Date - 2015
Genre - Horror
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):
     The indie horror community is massive and you have to know where to look to find new films.  I mostly discover movies through Facebook and the various groups that I am a member of.  There is probably a dozen or so of these groups but the downside to these is that they all have the same members so the same movies get cross promoted.  One film that I remember seeing in most of these groups and not much elsewhere was the horror anthology The Carnage Collection from Point and Shoot Films.  I shared some news regarding this film several times on the site and was very interested in the film but movies sent my way for review took precedent over movies that I watch just for the hell of it.  I decided to move this one onto my review list after some heckling from one of the co-directors.  Hey Bob, fuck you.
     The film consists of several segments ranging from killer VCR's to gypsy zombies.  The first story, Slay Bells, follows a young man who is trying to borrow a VCR from a friend.  He friend goes to the shed to get it when he is attacked and killed by a Santa display.  When his friend visits the shed to find him he comes face to face with the plastic evil Cringle.  The second segment, Trip, follows a young man who is trying to score some weed when he visits the wrong drug dealer.  What he found was not your typical drug dealer.  The third story, VCR, is easily my favorite of the film.  This segment follows a young man who is striking out with the ladies.  "Big Dick" Doug just can not find a break so he has resorted to fucking his trusty VCR until one day it has had enough and bites his dick off.  The fourth story, M is for Marijuana, is another one of my favorite segments and follows two stoners who purchase weed for an old gypsy that turns them into pot zombies.  The next tale, The Clown Cried Blood, follows a killer clown that butchers a family before moving on to two young women who are walking through the woods.  Angel of Death is the next story that follows a man who no longer wants to live.  He tries several times to kill himself but is met with a mysterious man who tells him God has other plans.  The man then believes God has bigger things in store for him but he is dead wrong.
     I was honestly looking forward to checking this one out.  The trailer, which I watched sometime ago, was fucking bonkers and looked like it was made specifically for me.  I love oddball no budget horror films and Carnage Collection looked like a love letter to everything I admire in b-movies...and for the most part it was.  The acting in this one is indie quality.  The cast is very dedicated to their roles but they lack the experience necessary to make their interactions with one another feel genuine and authentic.  With some practice and a little more experience I am fully confident that they all can make a name for themselves among horror fans but as it stands some of the scenes are a little awkward to watch.  The story for each segment varies.  Some are tributes to classic monster movies and horror films that I grew up watching while a few others not that entertaining.  The worst segment in the film is Trip.  This POV segment was not that entertaining and the film would have benefited from cutting this one out.  However, the segments VCR and M for Marijuana were awesome and could have inspired feature length films in one way or another.  These were fun and made for fans of b-movies.  With that being said, anthologies are expected to have a wrap around segment that serves as bookends for every story.  The Carnage Collection skips that for the most part.  The film opens with a door to door salesman installing cable for someone but this was not touched on between each segment and feels like it was abandoned early on in the film.  It could have worked with some minor changes or even showing the young man changing channels between each segment.  Could you imagine Creepshow 2 without the Creep?  Finally, the film has a fair amount of blood and gore.  The effects are dictated by the film's budget but they are able to make it work.  The kills are fun, or funny depending on the segment, and the effects really add to the overall look of the film.  Overall, The Carnage Collection is a no budget masterpiece.  It is rough around the edges and could use some work but God Damn does it have heart.  Flaws aside this is some indie horror fun that should be watched.  

Head of the Family

Director - Charles Band (Ooga Booga, Unlucky Charms)
Starring - Blake Adams (Lurking Fear, The Killer Eye), Jacqueline Lovell (The Exotic House of Wax, Hideous!), and Bob Schott (Knight Rider, Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight)
Release Date - 1996
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Upset the head...and you're dead"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     After watching Fairy Tales from Full Moon I wanted to venture back into the Full Moon catalogue for more cheesy goodness from my childhood when I remembered I still have Head of the Family on blu to review.  HotF is one of the Full Moon flicks that I had seen several times when I was younger and watched a few more times in college but never really revisited in recent years so when I heard that the film was getting the blu treatment I knew it was the perfect time to revisit this classic.  Thanks Full Moon for sending this one my way.

     The film follows diner owner Lance (Adams) who has been sleeping with a local biker's wife.  The biker has his hand in many different illegal affairs and is now pushing Lance for his business.  One night when Lance and the biker's wife is driving down a road they come across a road block.  Lance goes to investigate and witness the Stackpoole abducting a man.  He blackmails them into killing the biker but is then thrust in the middle of the Stackpoole's sinister plans to take over the world.

     I'm one of the few Full Moon fans among my friends that actually enjoys this movie.  I love how cheesy, cliched, and over the top the film is.  If I had to pick one film that perfectly described Full Moon I would have a hard time picking between this film and Sideshow.  The acting in this one is typical Full Moon flare.  The cast really gets into their roles and tries to give their characters quirky accents which doesn't work very well.  It comes off as cheap and not cheesy.  The story for this one is solid creature feature fun.  I always enjoyed how there was a paranormal aspect to the quadruplets. This was different in terms of horror films about disfigured people.  The story does get a little bland at times but makes up for it in coming scenes.  Finally, the film isn't that gory but has tons of great practical effects.  The film does shy away from on screen kills but more than makes up for it with medical experiments gone wrong and some great practical effects.  I also enjoyed the "Head of the family" as well.  I loved his look and how they used classic horror production techniques to pull off the look.  Overall, Head of the Family is a classic Full Moon feature with extra cheese.  Don't take my word for it and grab a copy.  You will not be disappointed.