Cafe Flesh

Director(s) - Stephen Sayadian (Dr. Caligula, Nightdreams 3) and Mark S. Esposito (Treasure of the Haunted House, TerrorVision)

Starring - Andy Nichols (Doctor Penetration, Student Affairs), Paul McGibboney, and Michelle Bauer (Demonwarp, Virgin High)

Release Date - 1982

Genre - Sci-Fi

Tagline - "THE TIME... Five years after the nuclear war.  The survivors...post-nuke thrill freaks lookin' for a kick"

Format - UHD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I started watching and collecting sexploitation flicks about 10 years ago when companies like Vinegar Syndrome, Severin Films, and Mondo Macabro started sending them my way for review.  These were films that I never had an interest in watching until I was sent some for review where I fell in love with them.  Since those days I've heard about the popular sexploitation flicks that many fans of the sub-genre would consider essential viewing.  Films like Waterworks, Sexworld, and the infamous Cafe Flesh.  I had never seen Cafe Flesh previously but when Mondo Macabro sent me the UHD for review, you bet your sweet ass I made time to finally check it out.  I, once again, would like to thank Mondo Macabro for sending this one over.

     The film takes place in a post-nuclear world where most of the people are called "negatives."  These people are unable to have sex and visit clubs where those that can, called "positives," perform various shows for them.  One night during the show, the host spots a couple and continuously mocks them between the various acts.  As the film progresses, we learn that one of them is secretly a positive who hides her secret from her negative spouse until her sexual desires overtake her.

     I was seriously excited to finally see Cafe Flesh.  I had heard so many great things about this one but could only find extremely edited or cut versions of the film online.  I decided to hold on until I could find a complete cut of the film.  Sadly, I found myself not enjoying the film after all this time of waiting.  I wanted to love it, especially for it's amazing story, but I found myself bored to tears.  The acting in this one is extremely entertaining.  In fact, it is one of the high points of the film for me.  The characters are all colorful and full of energy for the most part.  In the world of sexploitation and erotica, this is one of the most energetic casts I've seen.  The film has to be seen just for the acting alone.  The story for the this one is one of those films that I feel was amazing on paper but didn't translate that well to screen.  A sexploitation flick set in a post-nuclear wasteland where only a small group of people can screw around while the majority is forced to watch their shows is very unique.  You throw in a little character development and you have something truly unforgettable.  However, the film's unique style and semi-arthouse approach might be iconic among genre fans, it did make for a slow moving film that really did nothing to hold my attention.  The film, without the sex, could have been cut drastically to make the story a bit more fun.  Instead, it's a long and drawn out skin flick that bored me to tears.  Finally, the film has plenty of skin but if you want some blood or memorable effects then you are out of luck.  Overall, Cafe Flesh has a look and style all it's own with one hell of a story but the scenes are painfully too long and the story doesn't go anywhere.  I seriously wanted to like this one but it wasn't for me.  

Addy and Andy

Starring - Andrew Barber (The Flash, Tromasterpiece Theatre: The Battle of Love's Return) and Addison Binek (Psycho Ape!, Psycho Ape: Part II - The Wrath of Kong)

Release Date - 2012

Genre - Comedy

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Many years ago now I befriended YouTuber and filmmaker Addison Binek on Facebook and not long after met him at Cinema Wasteland.  Over the years I've been fortunate to review a lot of his hard work.  Binek has a long running YouTube series called Movies to Watch on a Rainy Afternoon along with the films Tromasterpiece Theatre: The Battle of Love's Return, Tromasterpiece Theatre: Poultreygeist, Psycho Ape!, and Psycho Ape: Part II - The Wrath of Kong.  Sometime back Addison asked me to check out another YouTube series he made sometime ago titles Addy and Andy.  Sadly, I had a rough go at it this summer and wasn't able to check it out in a timely manner and for that I apologize to Addison.  However, I was able to finally get around to checking it out.  Like always, I want to thank Addison for sending this over to review.  

     The film follows roommates Addy and Andy who go through their day to day life while documenting their friendship.  We see them disagree on chips, travel out of state, invent a drinking game around True Blood and so on.

     I had no idea what I was getting into when I agreed to check this out.  Hell, I was damn near certain that it was something I wouldn't like...but I was wrong.  It's so simple and awkward at times but I enjoyed it for the most part.  I don't see myself binging episodes of it again but I could definitely watch a random episode here or there again just for fun.  The acting in this one has a lot of room for improvement but both leads were young and learned a lot from this particular experience.  The two are very comfortable with each other and in front of the camera but a lot of the dialogue is forced.  This does create some awkward tension but it doesn't ruin the experience.  The stories for each episode feels like it was written on the fly or an idea that popped into their heads without full exploring it on paper.  That results in some of the episodes being more entertaining than others.  Finally, no effects to be seen here.  We have some crudely edited videos and that is the extent of it.  I know most of you here want some blood and gore but you will not find it with this.  Overall, Addy and Andy is a surprisingly enjoyable hidden YouTube gem that makes up for its lack of budget with heart and dedication.  Check it out.  

Father of the Year

Director - Chuck Conry (Arbor Day, Screwdriver)

Starring - Ethan Bouldin (Chickens Blood, Morbid), Chuck Conry, Richard Garza 

Release Date - 2025

Genre - Horror/Comedy

Tagline - "Divorce is really tough on the kids"

Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Many years ago I befriended professional wrestler and horror journalist Chuck Conry.  I was new to the writing scene and he offered me a lot of advice and answered a lot of questions for me early on in my career.  I was friends with him for several years before I realized that he was the filmmaker behind Morbid.  Since reviewing the Wild Eye release of Morbid, I've reviewed every film Conry has directed and a few that he worked on.  We seem to have similar tastes in film and his films tend to reflect that.  I enjoy his work and when he asked me to review Father of the year, originally titled Decapitate the Children, I quickly said yes.  I want to thank Chuck for sending this one over!

     The story for this one follows recently divorced Jewel (Bouldin) who finds himself taking care of his three.  He has reservations about being the boys legitimate father and often tells them how he feels about the ordeal.  They are forced to move into a new home following the divorce and here he finds a cassette with something recorded on it.  He decides to listen to it while drinking and awakens the next morning with one of his children dead in the dryer.  He has the remaining children hide the body but when more and more people around him turn up missing, he suspects something is wrong.  Is the house haunted, is he getting drunk and blacking out causing these disappearances, or is he just a bad person?  

     I went into Father of the Year like I did with every other film from Conry.  I was excited to see the newest Tennesseeploitation flick and what kind of story we were getting.  However, I was quick to notice that this one wasn't like other films from him.  It seemed to mostly take place in a house with Bouldin in what appeared to be wrestling mode.  I did laugh a few times but couldn't get into this one at all.  The acting in this one left some room for improvement.  The characters are all bold and memorable with the cast really getting into their roles.  However, the dialogue delivery was extremely awkward for most of the film especially Ethan Bouldin's performance.  Most of his dialogue delivery felt like he was cutting a wrestling promo.  He was very intense and overdramatic for most of the film, yet, his performance is probably the most memorable.  The story for this one blends in some supernatural with psychological horror which could have been more effective if the dialogue wasn't so outlandish.  The set up for the film and general plot outline works but the racist banter and humor surrounding the dialogue delivery contradicts the film's plot.  The humor and serious tone often clashes leaving the viewer wondering what is exactly happening.  The film could have worked if it would have chose one path to follow.  Finally, the film isn't a bloody one.  We do have some make-up effects but those of you looking for blood and gore will be very disappointed.  Overall, Father of the Year just wasn't for me.  The story that we have didn't need humor and the laughs I had I'm sure were unintentional.  I seriously wanted to like this one but it wasn't for me.  

The Woman in the Yard

Director - Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax, Orphan)

Starring - Danielle Deadwyler (The Harder They Fall, I Saw the TV Glow), Okwui Okpokwasili (I Am Legend, The Exorcist: Believer), and Peyton Jackson (Pet Investigators, Young Dylan)

Release Date - 2025

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Don't let her in"

Format - Blu (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I tend to stay away from pop horror but they have been surprising me a lot over the last few years.  Pop horror usually misses the mark with me.  They tend to be quick cash grabs with predictable jump scares and unimaginative deaths.  However, some of my favorite horror films of recent years are pop horror flicks with movies like X, The Black Phone, The Substance, Longlegs, Sinners, and many more.  A few weeks ago I was sent a copy of the Jaume Collet-Serra's The Woman in the Yard for review.  I knew absolutely nothing about this one and usually take what Blumhouse releases with a grain of salt but I was looking forward to checking it out.  

     The film follows a disabled widow and her two kids who are struggling after the accidental death of the family patriarch.  They are struggling financially and are about to lose their farm when a stranger visits their property.  Her children soon learn that something strange occurred the night their father died and her mother had something to do with his death.  This is the reason the woman has appeared resulting in the widow revealing some dark secrets.

     I'll be honest with everyone reading this.  I was excited to see The Woman in the Yard.  I knew absolutely nothing about the film but I loved the film's artwork and title.  With that being said, it was a huge disappointment.  The characters were extremely unlikable, the story failed to find traction, and lacked any sort of atmosphere that you would expect to find in a genre title.  I don't know what this film was going for but I feel as if they missed their mark by a great deal.  The acting in this one is fairly decent.  The cast seems very comfortable in front of the camera and feed off each other very well.  However, the characters are so damn unlikable.  I'm sure that was how it was written and doesn't reflect the cast's on screen talents but these characters truly suck.  The story for this one is painfully dull.  I was hoping it would be a slow build up to a fantastic ending but I was wrong.  The film moves slowly, never catches speed and when something does happen, its predictable.  I don't know if this is based on some sort of legend or myth but if it is I would like to learn more because the film doesn't do it justice.  If anything, it might turn people away from it.  Finally, don't expect a film with a body count.  Instead, the film focuses on the character's interactions and dynamic to progress the story.  Overall, The Woman in the Yard is a huge disappointment.  It lacks story, relatable characters, and the lack of atmosphere and tension makes it feel like a lackluster drama.  This is one I would recommend skipping.  

Fatal Desires

Director - Sean Donohue (Naked Cannibal Campers, Swamp Woman)

Starring - D'Andre Noire (Psycho Science, The Legend of Skunk Ape), Alyss Winkler (Space Babes from Outer Space, Curse of the Weredeer), and Jessa Jupiter Flux (Murdercise, Debbie Does Demons)

Release Date - 2025

Genre - Thriller

Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I love the time in which I grew up.  While the late 60s and early 70s exploitation and drive-in era is my favorite time for cinema, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the films from when I was growing up.  Being boring in the 80s and raised in the 90s really gave me a chance to see some outstanding films.  I was lucky enough to live through the VHS age along with the 90s cable "box" boom that many of us have lovingly called Skinemax.  Premium channels would often get movies after their theatrical run but before they hit home video.  This was an awesome way to quickly see a movie without having to run to theaters.  However, on some of these channels, especially late at night, they would air erotic flicks and shows aimed toward their adult audiences.  Erotic thrillers and women in prison flicks were extremely popular at this time.  I know many of us that knew absolutely nothing about the ways of the world because due to our age would sneak into the living room late at night to get a peak of some skin.  A few months back Sean Donohue announced that he was working on an erotic thriller, similar to those that ran late at night on Skinemax, starring Erin Brown, Jessa Jupiter Flux, and Alyss Winkler.  This was the kind of film I knew GatorBlade would knock out of the park so I quickly said yes when he asked me to check it out!

     The film follows a young couple, Todd (Noire) and Hannah (Winkler), who is struggling with their marriage.  Todd is a professional photographer with a knack for sleeping with his clients.  This has put a strain on their marriage.  Hannah's friend Denice (Brown) suggests that they try a sex therapist in hopes of saving what is left of their marriage.  This is when things start to take a weird turn.  The therapist they hire is a woman that Todd recently hooked up with at his favorite bar and continues to sleep with during their sessions.  As they dive deep into their sessions, Todd finds himself at the center of a murder investigation when he finds one of his clients murdered.  As he tries to figure out what is going on  around him, he soon learns that his therapist has other plans for the two and it doesn't include saving their marriage.

     Fatal Desires was exactly like I thought it would be and I loved it.  It's the perfect tribute to the late night Skinemax flicks I grew up watching while keeping the GatorBlade identity alive.  The film really does feel like the erotic thrillers you could catch late at night during the late 90s and has the hottest cast in the indie scene.  It may not be my favorite GatorBlade flick but it's easily one of Sean's best films to date.  The acting in this one is great with many of my favorite actresses appearing in the film.  Being born in the late 80s and raised in the 90s means I hit my teenage years in the late 90s and early 2000s which was when Misty Mundae was making a name for herself with films like The Infamous Bondage Murders, Duck! The Carbine High Massacre, Satan's School for Lust, and Screaming Dead just to name a few.  I've been a fan of hers for over 20 years and I love seeing her continue to appear in genre titles.  She does a great job in Fatal Desires but I am a bit disappointed in how little she was used.  I would have loved to see her get more screen time.  I'm also a huge fan of Alyss Winkler and Jessa Jupiter Flux.  Both are phenomenal actresses that never disappoint.  They are just as gorgeous as they are talented.  With all that being said, the star of the show is D'Andre Noire who delivers a phenomenal performance.  His character is very grounded and he does a hell of a job bringing him to life.  The story for this one is simple and predictable but you don't watch films like this for a compelling story.  It is a fun story when you mix in the nudity and the great performances from the cast.  Finally, the film does have a little blood and some make-up effects but those wanting some great gore will be very disappointed.  However, if beautiful women showing it all is something you are interested in then this film is for you.  Overall, Fatal Desires is another great flick from indie heavyweight GatorBlade Films.  It's a fantastic flick that has plenty of thrills and skin.  I highly recommend it

M3GAN 2.0

Director - Gerard Johnstone (M3GAN, Housebound) 

Starring - Allison Williams (Get Out, Erased: The Murder of Elma Sands), Violet McGraw (M3GAN, The Haunting of Hill House), and Amie Donald (Sweettooth, M3GAN)

Release Date - 2025

Genre - Horror/Sci-Fi

Tagline - "Miss me?"

Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Blumhouse is often hit or miss with me.  Movies like Freaky, Happy Death Day, The Purge, and The Black Phone are just a few that I like.  However, it's not often that I cross paths with a Blumhouse flick that I actually enjoy.  They are known for doing quick cash grabs with bold titles from even bolder filmmakers.  Their films tend to fizzle out fairly early and extremely predictable.  A few years back they made waves among pop horror fans when they released M3GAN.  I was on the fence about the film but found myself actually enjoying it.  Hell, it was one of the few horror titles that my children actually enjoyed (they are kind of lame).  I was actually excited when news of a sequel broke and was looking forward to checking it out.  As soon as I could I hit play on it for review!

     The film once again follows Gemma (Williams) and her niece Cady (McGraw).  M3GAN had been destroyed and Gemma became an advocate for the usage of A.I. Cady is struggling with everything that has happened and no longer having M3GAN to help her cope with the loss of her parents.  When the military accidentally unleashes a trained assassin modeled after M3GAN, they both find themselves turning to M3GAN to save them when the new model has become self aware and Gemma could be her next target to destroy.

     M3GAN 2.0 abandons what made the first film so much fun for a more modern and sleek sci-fi feel that doesn't work.  Fans went into this one expecting more M3GAN with horror and was greeted with something completely different that not only disappoints but leaves a bad taste in the viewer's mouth.  The acting in this one is solid for the most part.  We are back with more unlikable characters especially the film's dual protagonists.  I found myself wanting the new sentient robot to take out Gemma and Cady through most of the film.  Don't get me wrong, I loved the cast but these characters are poorly written in my opinion and extremely unlikable.  I would much rather seen the film follow Cole and Tess over Gemma and Cady.  The story for this one abandons the horror element and goes for a more pop sci-fi vibe with some espionage scattered throughout.  The tone and style of the first film is what made it so much fun while the sci-fi aspect and predictability of the story makes this one a tough one to finish.  I'm always honest my reviews and this one is extremely tough to finish.  Finally, those looking for some blood and great effects will be very disappointed.  We get a lot of visual effects and a small body count but we don't get memorable deaths.  I went into this one expecting more fun kills and was very much let down.  Overall, M3GAN 2.0 feels almost like a joke played on the fans of the first film.  We have returning characters but nothing that made the first film so enjoyable returns in the sequel.  This is one I would highly recommend skipping.   

Bring on the Damned

Director - Brandon Bassham (Feartown USA, The Slashening)

Starring - Sydney Hirsch (The Secret of Cuck Island, Blood Stab), Zac Amico (Shakespeare's Shitstorm, Curse of the Weredeer), and Ian Fidance (Crank Yankers, The Last O.G.)

Release Date - 2024

Genre - Horror/Comedy

Tagline - "An anthology from Hell!"

Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Horror anthologies were such a huge part of my childhood.  I never claimed to be a genre fan until my later teenage years.  I grew up as a fan of cinema in general.  I didn't care what genre a movie or television show was apart of.  If something caught my eye, regardless if it was horror or not, I would watch it.  With that being said, I always loved watching horror anthologies.  Films like Creepshow, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, Twilight Zone The Movie, From a Whisper to a Scream, and so on.  My favorite part about these films was how they were all held together by one wraparound segment with Tales from the Darkside: The Movie being my favorite.  I still love anthologies and will go out of my way to watch them now.  A few weeks back I was sent a press release with a review link for the horror anthology Bring on the Damned from The Slashening and Feartown USA director Brandon Bassham.  

     The film features five segments ranging from a psychologist studying a woman who may be possessed, two killers who find themselves fighting over a woman, and a woman who can only nut when she kills a man.

     I was really looking forward to Bring on the Damned.  As I stated earlier, I'm a huge fan of horror anthologies and Bassham's Feartown USA and The Slashening are very enjoyable films.  However, I didn't necessarily care for Bring on the Damned.  It had a few fun moments but the overall film failed to gain any momentum with me.  The acting in this one is very well done.  The film has a lot of memorable performances and likable characters which made it a as enjoyable as it is.  The stories for the segments are clever, especially for those of you that like horror comedies or low brow humor like that found in South Park or many Troma releases.  I really enjoyed the giallo inspired disco segment along with the segment featuring two killers who quarrel over the woman.  They were clever stories but somewhere between the paper and filming, something was lost.  Most of the segments have moments that are funny but they do very little to hold my attention.  Also, the lack of a wraparound segment that held everything together really disappointed me.  Finally, the film does have some bloody moments.  We get a lot of blood, solid practical effects, and beautifully shot scenes.  It's not a gory flick so those looking for a lot of carnage may not be satisfied.  However, those of you looking for a beautifully shot flick with some solid effects and a decent amount of blood will appreciate what Bassham and company has brought us.  Overall, Bring on the Damned has some cool ideas that I really liked but the overall fil just fell short.  I wanted to love it but the few laughs and amazing cast that the film has wasn't enough to win me over.  

May

Director - Lucky McKee (The Woman, Tales of Halloween)

Starring - Angela Bettis (Carrie, Toolbox Murders), Jeremy Sisto (Six Feet Under, Wrong Turn), and Anna Faris (Scary Movie, Lovers Lane)

Release Date - 2002

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Be careful... she might just take your heart"

Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     My high school years was the most important for me in regards to horror.  It was then that I joined the message board at Upcoming Horror Movies where I met some of my closest friends that I still share horror with today.  A lot of movies were recommended to me at this time and it truly was a time for discovery for me.  Most of these movies stuck with me over the years.  One of the movies that I was introduced to was the 2002 Lucky McKee movie May.  This is a film that I watched a lot during the years that followed but haven't watched it in recent years.  I recently received the Vestron Video release of the film on blu for review which gave me the perfect opportunity to revisit it.  I want to thank Lionsgate and Vestron Video for sending this one my way!

     The film follows May (Bettis) who is a bit backward.  She doesn't have any friends and an issue with her eye which causes her to avoid people.  However, a fascination with a man she meets at a coffee shop when she notices his perfect hands.  He is nice to her at first but when he learns how strange she truly is, he starts ignoring her.  This only strengthens her obsession and she sets out to create the perfect man using on the best parts of everyone.

     May is one of those films that most horror fans I know either love it or hate it.  I really liked the movie all those years ago and would often recommend it to fans just discovering the genre or was looking for something different.  However, I didn't enjoy it as much as I did after all these years.  It's still a solid flick but it is a bit of a slow burn.  I love the cast and the characters we get but the film itself does drag on far too long.  The acting in this one is great.  I was a huge fan of Six Feet Under when it was airing on HBO back then so it was cool seeing Jeremy Sisto in a genre film.  He is not stranger to the genre, and while he was great in his role here, this is not even close to being my favorite performance from him.  However, it's Angela Bettis and Anna Faris that makes the film for me.  Scary Movie was a constant watch growing up so I was very familiar with Faris.  She brings some humor that you would expect to the film while bringing some unexpected sex appeal.  Bettis delivers my favorite performance of hers.  I've seen her in several films since my initial viewing of May and this will always be my favorite role of her.  She makes the character so personal and absolutely carries the film.  The story for this one is simple and something different.  While it has always reminded me of the 1997 horror comedy The Office Killer, it is just different enough to stand out.  Both films follow a shy and backward young woman who turns to murder to fill the lack of social interactions in their lives.  While The Office Killer sets up dead bodies to talk to as if they are alive, May goes about it with a Frankenstein inspired twist.  It's fun, especially for a first time watch, but it does move at a snails pace.  Finally, the film does have some bloody moments and a few awesome gags, especially in the veterinary clinic, but those of you looking for extreme gore will be a bit disappointed.  Overall, May is a classic for the right reasons.  While I don't believe it has held up after all these years, I do see the value in the film and how it has influenced others to turn to indie filmmaking.  I highly recommend snagging this blu from Vestron Video.   

Open Wide

Director - Sam Fox (Fck'n Nuts, Unagi)

Starring - Ashley Smith (Off Ramp, On Call),  Ethan Daniel Corbett (Headless Horseman, Blood), and Lara Repko (Karen's Family, Heavy Rain)

Release Date - 2025

Genre - Horror

Format (Streaming) (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Sometimes I'm sent something for review and it leaves a lasting mark on me.  It's not common but it does happen.  What is rare is when that film happens to be a short.  I really enjoy shorts because they tend not to get straight to the point with no time to fuck around.  Sometime back I was contacted by filmmaker Sam Fox to review the short Fck'n Nuts.  I absolutely loved it and had planned on including it in my year end wrap up but I never got around to making a list.  A few weeks back I was contacted again to review a new short from Sam titled Open Wide.  I knew absolutely nothing about it but I couldn't wait to check it out.

     The film follows a young woman who goes home with a couple for some drinks and after hours fun.  The man is a bit odd and the woman is overtly sexual, but she stays just to see where things go.  However, once their "son" arrives wearing a gasmask, things take an unusual turn.

     I went into Open Wide daydreaming about Fck'n Nuts with my imagination working overtime.  I knew this short would be an unusual story and unforgettable and I was right.  The acting in this one is great.  I was recently turned on to Ashley Smith after checking out the Juggalo road trip adventure flick Off Ramp over the summer.  She is a phenomenal actress and it was great seeing her appear in the short.  I also enjoyed Lara Repko's performance.  Her character is a little more grounded and the most logical of the cast which she did an amazing job at bringing that to life in front of the camera.  With that being said, it was Ethan Daniel Corbett's erratic performance that stole the show for me.  I loved the intensity he brought to the short.  The story for this one is a bit of a mindfuck once the strangeness starts but does struggle with comprehensiveness.  I loved the wild characters and the awkwardness between the young woman and the couple.  However, the short does go off the rails with the introduction of the child and from there it's pure anarchy.  While I'm not 100% sure I know what is going on, it was still fun to watch.  Finally, the film is not a gruesome one.  We have some light make-up effects but those of you with a taste for blood will be disappointed.  Overall, Open Wide is not going to be for everyone.  However, if strong performances and weird stories are your thing then this one is for you.  Check it out.