Mutant Girls Squad

Director(s)- Noboru Iguchi (Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead), Yoshihiro Nishimura (Helldriver), and Tak Sakaguchi (Yoroi Samurai Zombie)
Starring - Yumi Sugimoto (Gakudori), Yuko Takayama (Hammer Session), and Suzuka Morita (Pirate Squadron Gokaiger)
Release Date - 2010
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Mutants only"

Rating (out of 5):

     Growing up I was not fond of Asian films.  However, my exposure to them was very limited to mostly giant monster films.  I liked Godzilla, Gamera, and a few other random flicks but for the most part they were...different and did not sit well with me.  That changed once someone in a horror forum told me to watch Battle Royale.  That day my views on Asian cinema would change forever.  I then got my hands on The Machine Girl and a slight obsession started to take hold.  After watching that on Netflix I put a slew of Asian splatter flicks in my instant queue.  This one just happened to be one of them and I watched it multiple times that day. 

    As you gathered from the title, this flick is about a mutant girls squad, however, there is a great deal plot wise regarding them.  The story follows a teenage girl who is harassed by her fellow classmates.  While celebrating her sixteenth birthday her father tells her that she is different.  He then pulls his shirts and pants off to expose large pulsating tumors on his nipples and pecker area.  Her father tells her that she is a mutant and then the police, wearing masks with long noses that shoot bullets, bust into the room and shoot her father and mother.  Rin, the birthday girl, then mutants and her right hand turns into a metal clad claw.  She then goes on a bloody rampage through town until she meets another girl from her school.  Here she tells her that she is not alone and there are others like her. Rei, the young girl who is also a mutant, takes Rin to a rebel camp with other female mutants that are lead by a transvestite.  They want to wage a war with the humans that have persecuted them for centuries.  The transvestite can clearly see that she is not a full mutant, but instead a human/mutant hybrid.  The transvestite has been brainwashing the young girls to commit suicide bombings around town so he can use the blood being spilled to open an ancient body armor type contraption.  However, Rin can not condone the killing of humans even though they took her parents from her and tries to prevent the other from carrying out the suicide pacts.  Rin, and another mutant Yoshi, battle it out with Rei until she realizes it is wrong too.  The three mutants then go to battle the transvestite but it is too late.  He had used the blood from a government official to open the body armor and goes on a bloody rampage.  It is up to the three mutants to stop him before he takes over the world.

     I loved this flick.  This movie was truly insane in every sense of the word.  Some of the mutants had the craziest mutations.  Some had tit swords and small hands coming from their ears while others had chainsaws that pop out of their asses.  Most of the movie gives you that "what the fuck" feeling.  What I really liked about this movie is the everything.  The story is unlike anything you will lay your eyes on.  The acting is good and the effects are amazing.  They really did a good job mixing the practical and CGI effects.  The only thing I did not like about this one is the ass kicking that the girls deal out just drags on and on.  They honestly just fight, and fight, and fight for a majority of the film.  Other than that this movie is awesome.  This movie definitely needs to be watched so get to it.  

     

Rockula

Director - Luca Bercovici (The Granny)
Starring - Dean Cameron (Men at Work), Thomas Dolby (Howard the Duck), and Tawny Fere (Night Children)
Release Date - 1990
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "He's a vampire that hasn't scored in 400 years.  Tonight's the night"

Rating (out of 5):

     I love movies from the 80's like I have stated many times throughout my reviews.  I have a soft spot for anything cheesy and if it involves vampires then I'm all for it.  I prefer zombies and slashers now but when I was a child I loved campy vampire flicks like My Best Friend is a Vampire and Vamp.  So one night while looking at a site that specializes in movies that have not yet been released on dvd I ran across this little flick.  I have to see cheesy 80's flicks, especially one that has an Elvis vampire impersonator on the cover. I know this film was made in 1990 but that year still had many of the 80's trends and style that made actual 80's movies worth watching

     This little gem follows a 400 year old vampire that is cursed to watch the one he loves die every 20 or so years.  In his youth he fell in love with a woman but she is murdered by a ham bone wielding pirate with a peg leg.  Because he sat by ideally and did nothing he is cursed to let this cycle repeat itself.  It is up to him to stop the pirate from murdering her in order to break the curse and finally get laid after waiting 400.  

    Like so many films I've watched before, I really wanted to like this cheesy flick.  This movie just did not offer anything different and nothing really stood out.  What I liked about it was the story.  It was very original and played well with the 80's feel of the flick.  Though the movie was made in 90 it still has that great 80's vibe.  I also really liked the characters.  They are very outlandish and loveable like characters you would find in Revenge of the Nerds.  The acting is pretty decent by a cast consisting of members that really did not go on and do bigger and better things.  What I did not like about the film is they did not really do anything with the story.  They built up the big bad curse and then nothing happened and no climax took place.  There was a really horrible fight scene the vampire and pirate but it was utterly pointless.  Overall, this movie had some great potential but was unable to pull it off.  The production company made a mediocre film that will probably die off into obscurity.  It was entertaining, for the most part, for the first viewing but has no replay value at all.  Check it out on Netflix and then forget about it.   

Mystery of the Wax Museum and Remakes

Mystery of the Wax Museum

Director - Michael Curtiz (Doctor X)
Starring - Lionel Atwill (The Vampire Bat), Fay Wray (King Kong), and Glenda Farrell (Smart Blonde)
Release Date - 1933
Genre - Horror/Mystery
Tagline - "Wax or Flesh?" and "You'll never solve the "Mystery of the Wax Museum"

Rating (out of 5):

     Last Halloween I picked up the TCM Horror Classics four film set for $3 at the local Big Lots.  In the set there was Freaks, The Haunting, House of Wax, and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.  I forgot that I had it till a few weeks ago when I was rearranging my dvd collection.  I decided to give House of Wax a go because I had been watching a lot of Vincent Price flicks.  I never saw it before this viewing so while I was giving it a watch I decided to look some stuff up on it.  I was surprised when I found out it was actually a remake of this 1933 flick that was more of a mystery than a horror film.  After watching House of Wax I did some more research and found that this film, along with the '53 remake, was also parodied in another film, as well as, remade again in 2005.  I finally sat down and watched them all, except the parody, and wanted to make a post about them all and how much they differed.

     This film follows a sculptor that works primarily with wax.  He has done many sculptures consisting of historical figures, including his masterpiece Marie Antoinette.  However, his talent goes unnoticed by the local community in London and his partner pulls the plug on the museum.  As a way to get the money he had provided to the sculptor back, he decides to burn down the museum and collect the insurance money.  The sculptor does not agree with this because he sees his creations as living works of art.  The two battle it out before the sculptor is knocked unconscious.  The museum and all his creations are burnt to the ground.  The sculptor, now presumed dead, surfaces 12 years later in New York.  He is now wheelchair bound and his hands are severely burned to the point he can not longer form his wax sculptures.  He now has a team of sculptors who he has trained to make his sculptures along with a gentlemen who he has make him "special orders" and new renditions of his older works.  On New Years a young lady commits suicide and her body is stolen from the morgue.  A report, who is at risk of losing her job, must find a good story to report before she is left seeking a new career.  She starts looking into the missing body from the morgue.  She, also, just happens to be roommates with a young girl who is "courting" one of the wax sculptors at the museum.  One day while visiting the sculptor with her roommate she notices the Joan of Arc sculpture and realizes that she resembles that missing corpse.  While they are visiting the sculptor sees his workers girlfriend and she is the mirror image of his long lost masterpiece, Marie Antoinette.  The man who does special orders for the sculptor is instructed to bring her in but is detained by the police before hand.  The sculptor, wanting to have his Marie Antoinette back, gets out of his wheelchair and tries to abduct her.  In the process the young girl strikes his face and his wax masks shatters showing a charred face underneath.  The man that helps the sculptor with his special orders is an alcoholic, and while he is detained, starts having withdraws.  The police exploit this for information where he rolls on the sculptor and they are able to prevent the sculptor from turning her into his new wax sculpture.

     I actually really enjoyed this classic flick.  I typically don't like mysteries from this era but the horror element made this one really enjoyable.  Also, having watched the '53 remake before hand completely pulled the "mystery" from this one.  What I really liked about this one was the story.  For the time this one is really in depth when compared to the other classics like Dracula and Frankenstein.  The story actually has a twist that is pulled off very well and I honestly wish I knew that House of Wax was a remake so I could have watched this one first.  I also liked the effects  and acting in this one.  The effects are actually a little better than the remake.  Once the sculptor has his wax mask removed he looks better in this version than that of the remake.  What I did not like was the female roles.  Glenda Farrell's role does not fit the atmosphere of the movie at all.  She plays this wise cracking journalist and some of her dialogue does not really fit with the rest of the story.  Another thing I didn't really like is the pace of the movie.  The action is strung out between long streaks of pointless dialogue.  Which if this is the only complaints I can make for a film then it is doing something right even after all these years.  This one is definitely worth a watch.

House of Wax '53

Director - Andre de Toth (Dark Waters)

Starring - Vincent Price (House on Haunted Hill), Frank Lovejoy (The Hitch-hiker), and Carolyn Jones (War of the Worlds)

Release Date - 1953

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "You've never been scared till you've been scared in 3D"

Rating (out of 5):

     This is a classic horror film that I was not granted to opportunity of seeing in my youth.  I knew this film existed but I never had any intentions on watching this until I saw the four film set at Big Lots.  I figured for the cheap price I couldn't go wrong.  I am a huge Vincent Price fan and it was only a matter of time before I gave this classic film, and remake to Mystery of the Wax Museum, a shot.

     This flick, once again, follows a wax sculptor who is obsessed with his creations, especially his masterpiece Marie Antoinette.  Just like the original, his partner does not see profits being made from his house of wax.  After and intense fight, where the sculptor is once again knocked unconscious, the partner burns the house of wax down to claim the insurance money.  The sculptor, now presumed dead, emerges years later with a new house of wax that mostly exhibits ghastly historical events instead of the more joyful one.  His exhibits also consists of recent morbid events such as the hanging of his former partner.  The sculptor's hands are now severely burned and he is also wheelchair bound.  He has two assistants, a deaf-mute and a brilliant artist, that does his sculptures for him.  The sculptor has been kidnapping those that look similar to his original collections at night and encasing them in wax.  A colleague of his new partner is dating a girl the resembles his Marie Antoinette and he has to make her a wax figure.  This same lady's roommate was just abducted recently and the Joan of Arc exhibit resembles her greatly.  She begins snooping around trying to find clues about the Joan of Arc exhibit until the sculptor catches her.  While this is taking place the artist is being followed by the police and is brought in for questioning where they find a recently murdered man's pocket watch.  This man, also just like the original, is a raging alcoholic and makes a deal with the police to roll on the sculptor if they give him a drink.  While the sculptor is about to make the lady an immortal cased in wax, the police make a daring rescue.   

     I honestly kicked myself after watching this the first time for not watching this when I was little.  This movie is part of the first wave of "3D" films that are now almost symbolic of the cinema goers from the 50's.  I only wished I could have seen this movie in 3D because you can clearly see what they used for the gags in the film.  This movie stays true to the original for the most part.  The story is almost the same with very minor differences.  What I liked about this film was the atmosphere.  It was a little more darker in tone that the original.  It relied more on the horror aspect than the mystery.  I also liked the acting with Vincent Price giving one of the best performances I have seen so far out of his filmography.  What I didn't like was how the sculptor looked when he was not wearing his wax mask.  He did look more realistic over the original, however, the original looked way better.  Overall, this is a classic and deserves a watch.  Hell, multiple watches would do this film justice.

House of Wax '05

Director - Jaume Collet-Serra (Orphan)

Starring - Elisha Cuthbert (The Girl Next Door), Chad Michael Murray (One Tree Hill), and Brian Van Holt (Sons of Anarchy)

Release Date - 2005

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Prey. Slay. Display"

Rating (out of 5):

I never had any desire to watch this movie, however, I did want to buy it and add to my collection.  I know that sounds weird but I collect movies, mostly horror, and I sometimes buy shitty movies just to collect.  I'm also a huge Supernatural fan and since Jared Padalecki was in this I knew I would eventually see it.  However, once I started watching Mystery of the Wax Museum and House of Wax '53 I kinda got excited about it and went out and grabbed it on bluray...which was very cheap.  Should have been an omen.

    The film opens with a woman making a wax mask while her son is in his high chair eating.  Then the father enters the room carrying another child as he is kicking and screaming.  He then places him into another high chair and ties him down.  The film then picks up years later as a group of college students are traveling to see a football game.  Along the way the group decide to camp out and party it up.  However, the party is crashed by a guy in a truck as he pulls up and shines his lights on them for several minutes without speaking.  That is until the bad ass of the group busts the head light out with a beer bottle and he leaves.  The next morning the group pack up to head off to the big game when one of the cars has a busted fan belt.  The young man is in love with his car and refuses to leave it till after the game.  While the men are packing the cars, the ladies head out into the woods to piss and one of them falls down the hill and lands in a trench full of roadkill.  The men hear her screams and rush to her rescue.  While they are standing there the man that collects the roadkill arrives so the man whose fan belt is busted, along with his girlfriend, go with him into town to get a fan belt while her twin brother and the others go on to the game.  When the couple reach the garage they find it empty, much like everything else in town.  They visit the house of wax and then stop by a church where a "funeral service" is taking place.  The garage owner is at the service and takes them back to the garage but he doesn't have the belt they need.  The owner then takes them to his home where he keeps other parts.  While at the home the girl stays in the truck and the two men enter the house.  A few minutes later the owner returns and the girl locks herself in the truck before knocking it in gear and backing down the driveway.  She then runs to the garage and is grabbed by the owner and tied to a chair and her lips are super glued.  Her friends have turned around and came back due to the volume of traffic because of the game.  Her brother and his friend come looking for them and split up to find them quicker.  Another couple decide to stay back at the camp site to screw and are murdered by a long haired man wearing a wax mask.  The remainder of the flick is a game of cat and mouse between the owner and the two twins before it is revealed that the owner and the man with long hair are twins that were born conjoined.  The one with long hair was actually the good child at the beginning of the flick who was born with half his face conjoined to the back of the bad child's head.

     I honestly wanted to like this movie.  It had everything going for it and it only took pure talent to completely screw it up.  First off if it would have followed the original story, which it did not, it would have been an amazing flick.  The things I liked about the movie is the effects.  This movie has some of the best effects I have seen from any movie I can think of.  I was absolutely in aw when I saw it.  I am only speaking of the practical effects however.  The sad thing is that is the only thing I liked about this remake.  The things I disliked about it was the story.  The movie was way more creepier when the killer was actually tied to the victims like in the original and the '53 remake.  This remake made it a borderline slasher with no revenge plot.  I also hated most of the cast.  The film went down the shitter the second they casted Paris Hilton.  Also, it was strange watching the boy from Cousin Skeeter in a horror flick using foul language and screwing around with Paris Hilton.  The CGI is complete shit in this one.  I don't see how they went having such great practical effects and then jumped straight into shitty CGI.  Overall, the special effects and Sam Winchester could not save this behemoth size shit from sinking.  If you want to see some bad ass practical effects then this is your flick but that is the only reason to even consider this one.  Stay away!             

    

Teen Witch

Director - Dorian Walker (Making the Grade)
Starring - Robin Lively (The Karate Kid Part III), Dan Guathier (Sliders), and Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist)
Release Date - 1989
Genre - Comedy/Fantasy/Romance
Tagline - "Fall under her spell"

Rating (out of 5):

     This movie, just like The Worst Witch, does not really fit into my blog.  This one is aimed more for the female audience but when I was little I watched this every Halloween multiple times.  It has a way of pulling you in when you watch it.  If you like it or not, once you cast your eyes on the tv your hooked.  When I was looking through movies at Wal-Mart around Valentine's Day I found Teen Witch in a double pack with Heavenly Kid (a great 80's flick).  I couldn't resist not picking them up and adding them both to my collection.

     The story follows Louise (Lively), a young girl who goes about her day to day life as a high school student.  She is head over heals for another student, Brad, but he is unaware of her existence.  While heading home one evening on her bicycle she is ran off the road by Brad and his girlfriend.  After the incident she comes across the home of a gypsy psychic (Rubinstein).  Here the psychic tries to turn a dollar and asks to read her palm.  While reading her palm she realizes that Louise is actually the reincarnation of a witch she once knew.  The next day at school, while in drama class, Louise comes across an old antique necklace in the prop room and the teacher gives it to her.  The necklace enhances her powers and was worn by the previous incarnations of herself.  All she has to do is simply "wish it" and it happens...for the most part.  However, she wants more.  She wants Brad to love her and finds a spell just for that.  However, she has second thoughts and wants Brad to love her for her and not because a spell was placed on him.  After he tells her that guys love the popular girls, Louise sets out to to become popular.  This backfires on her because all the guys and girls in the school love her and adore her but her best friend, who is being neglected by her and her new found popular friends.  Oh, the troubles of high school.

     I have watched this movie numerous times in my adolescence and from a recent viewing I don't know why I watched it so many times.  Don't get me wrong, the flick is mediocre and should be viewed once or twice in your life but not one that should have been watched as many times as I have.  Maybe it was because my sister wanted to watch it and I just went along.  Either way I have watched it more than I should have.  What I liked about it is the story.  I enjoy movies about witches and anything witch related.  I also liked seeing Rubinstein in films.  She was amazing in Poltergeist and she is just as good in this one.  The entire movie is painfully 80's and I love that.  What I did not like about the movie was the horrible song and dance numbers.  They bust the mood of the film when they randomly take place.  I also did not like the random love montages between Louise and Brad.  It was extremely awkward to watch as a child and as an adult.  Overall, this movie should be watched but don't pop it in for a second or third watching unless your into to romance flicks.  Which, if your reading my blog then your probably not.         

On Bloody Sunday

Director - Christian Sesma (Shoot the Hero)
Starring - Annemarie Pazmino (The Terror at Big Bear Lake: Thrillogy), Yousef Abu-Taleb (Bite Me), and Mike Hatton (Shoot the Hero)
Release Date - 2007
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Who's on your friends list?"

Rating (out of 5):

     I never heard about this one but with the popularity of Myspace and Facebook I'm surprised more flicks are not made with a similar plot.  I was on one of my many trips to FYE and was looking through the clearance section where I find a lot of shitty flicks for just a few dollars.  Found this one for less than $2 and grabbed it.  Not because it was a horror flick but because it had Danny Trejo in it.  I figured for a shitty, low budget flick about a social media site, that he was only in it for a brief cameo.  I'm fine with that and I still wanted it for my collection even if he is in it for a few moments.

     This movie follows a young journalist in high school as her fellow classmates are being abducted by a masked man.  The man behind the abductions uses religion as his basis for committing the murders.  Those that have sinned are tortured and murdered.  Like most journalist, she is naturally inquisitive and begins her own investigation to find out who is behind the abductions.  Her investigation into the teen murders draws the attention of the killer where he becomes infatuated with her.  The young journalist has to expose who the killer really is before she is next.

     I did not expect much from this movie and that is what I got.  This movie offers nothing new and nothing entertaining.  I wanted to try something different with this review.  So first I will tell ya what I liked about it and then what I did not.  What I did like about the movie is the scenery in the Jesus Freak's torture chamber and the small cameo by Danny Trejo.  I also liked a few of the kills.  At one point a guy is fed viagra and gets his boner cut off by the religious fanatic.  It is disgusting and has nothing to do with the story but it was cool and very different.   One of the things I did not like about the flick was the story.  If the movie would have just been a straight forward slasher and did not try to throw in plot twists and the whole mystery/thriller angle it would have been pretty solid.  Unfortunately, they did throw in the plot twists and the mystery/thriller angles and it did not work out at all.  I also did not like the acting by some of the cast.  Others did an awesome job while others were just horrible.  Overall, this is a pretty bad flick and you can definitely find something better to watch.           

Head of the Family

Director - Charles Band (Gingerdead Man)
Starring - Blake Adams (Justified), Jacqueline Lovell (The Killer Eye), and J.W. Perra (Mystery Monsters)
Release Date - 1996
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Upset the head...and your dead"

Rating (out of 5):

     Being a long time fan of Full Moon flicks it was only a matter of time before I watched this one.  I had knew about it for a few years but never really had a desire to watch it.  It looked cheesy but in a 90's fashion.  I love cheese but only if it was made in the 80's.  Movies in the 90's are typically good if they're the serious kind of flick.  Don't get me wrong, there is still good films made in the 90's that are able to provide some quality cheese, but for the most part the 80's is the greatest era for cheese.  This is why I avoided this flick out of all the other Full Moon flicks.  I love Full Moon movies, in the 80's they were able to balance the scare with cheese, in the 90's they typically provided more screams instead of cheese and within the passed few years they have went back to that campy, cheesy, fun.  So I finally gave in and gave this film a view and was pleasantly surprised.

     This flick follows an owner of a dinner as he is being forced to partner with a biker.  The biker is squeezing his way in to be a silent partner like he has multiple businesses around town.  Meanwhile, while he is shaking down the other businesses he has "partnered" with his wife is shacking up with the dinner owner.  One night while driving the biker's wife home they come across a road block and spot one of the local freaks kidnapping someone.  In order to have the biker removed from his dinner and to be with his wife, he visits the freaks home to blackmail them to abduct the biker and do what they wish with him.  The freaks consists of a man who is abnormally strong, his brother who has a strong sense of vision and hearing, their sister who is extremely attractive, and the leader of the clan, their brother who just happens to be a giant head in a wheelchair.  The head has a telepathic power and is able to take control of his siblings to complete various tasks.  They have been abducting people and performing lab experiments on them in order to take over the world.  He succeeds at blackmailing the family and they abduct the biker and keep him in their underground dungeon.  However, the head of the family is a very prideful man and does not like being blackmailed and sets out to put the dinner owner in his place.
     I actually enjoyed this film.  It did have some  cheese like I figured it would but it was pulled off nicely.  The story was more than a straight forward flick, which is not typical of a Full Moon flick, but it does happen.  The acting is very well done and at times, when the mutant family is not in the scene, you forget your watching a Full Moon flick.  The effects is decent but I was really impressed by the head of the family.  He has that camp seen in the classic age of monster movies from the 50's and 60's.  The whole split screen effect just makes the film fun.  Overall, this flick is above average and should be watched at least once in your life.  Unless you like Twilight then avoid it like the plaque because you clearly have shitty taste in film. 

Sideshow

Director - Fred Olen Ray (Scalps)

Starring - Jamie Martz (Cloverfield), Michael Amos (Backgammon), Phil Fondacaro (Land of the Dead)

Release Date - 2000

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Step right up" and "Freak Out!"

Rating (out of 5):

     Checked this movie out while I was in high school.  A friend of mine told me about it so I headed down to the ma and pop's rental store nearby to pick it up on vhs.  Well, they didn't have it on vhs but they did, surprisingly, have it on dvd.  I really liked it then and when I was out and found that set for $5 like I had mentioned before so I had to pick it up for this movie alone and the others would be an added bonus. 

     This flick follows two couples on a double date who bicker back and forth because one of the young men has brought his wheelchair bound younger brother with them.  They decide to visit a local freak show and while there they all start to talk about the things they do not like about themselves.  One of the ladies has a slight obsession with her weight while the guy in the wheelchair obviously wants to be able to walk again.  The freak show is ran by Dr. Graves (Fondacaro) who has the ability to turn people into carnival attractions.  Dr. Graves exploits their weaknesses and promises to grant their every wish...but with dire consequences.  One by one the gang caves in to their dark desires and unknowingly become exhibits in his sideshow.

     I really enjoyed this movie.  It has a different kind of feel than any of the other Full Moon movies that I've seen.  The story reminded me of eda movie that would have been films in the 50's.  The story is the only thing that reminded me of that however.  The acting is very well done and I love Fondacaro.  He is a very underrated actor that should have more roles in horror flicks.  The effects are phenomenal and is probably the most disgusting movie I have ever seen that didn't involve torture.  It is weird to see a horror movie that is disgusting and does not involve blood and gore.  This movie proves that you don't need to have blood and gore to make a solid horror flick in today's movie world.  Don't get me wrong, nothing is wrong with blood and gore, but you don't need it to make a truly entertaining and creepy horror flick.  I highly recommend this flick, not only to watch, but to own as well.