Dorchester's Revenge: The Return of Crinoline Head

   

 Director - Tommy Faircloth (Crinoline Head, The Cabin)

Starring - Debbie Rochon (Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, Splatter Disco), John Kap (Swamp Murders, WCW), and Jason Vail (The Cabin, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "Legends don't die...they kill"
Format - Streaming (online screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Sequels and remakes are two words that often make horror fans cringe.  Horror fans are the most arrogant fans there is.  They have a sense of entitlement and most feel that if a filmmaker is going to make a new movie it needs to be something new and bold.  However, I am not your typical horror fan. I love when a filmmaker takes on a story I already love and enjoy. Sequels are able to take characters I already love and extend their story.  In the case of horror films it usually gives me a reason to watch some of my favorite killers do what they do best and slaughter the innocent.  Last year I met director Tommy Faircloth on Facebook where he sent me review copies of his three films.  Among those three flicks was the 1995 slasher Crinoline Head.  I really enjoyed the film though it was extremely campy and cliched.  Not long after reviewing that film I received word that Tommy was at it again and this time he was working on a sequel to Crinoline Head.  This sequel, that was originally titled Crinoline Head 2, excited the hell out of me so I waited...waited..and waited until just a few days ago when Tommy sent me an online screener.  Thanks Tommy!
     The film follows the students of Professor Paul Donner (Vail).  Paul was one of two survivors of the Crinoline Head massacre back in 1995.  He is now an esteemed college professor who is struggling to rebuild his life after his wife left him due to his obsession with Crinoline Head.  She was also a survivor of that dreadful day and wants nothing to do with it.  Anyway, Paul's students are working on small group projects when two students discover his dark past.  They request that Paul allow them to do a documentary style report on Crinoline Head and he agrees.  The students then steal all his work on Dorchester (Crinoline Head) and head to the spot that all this happened.  Tagging along for the ride is two young girls but more classmates decide to follow them and crash their report.  However, more things than school work is getting crashed when they soon discover that Crinoline Head is alive and well!  We also can't forget about the drag queens, bitches!
     Horror sequels are exciting with the possibility of seeing our favorite stories pushed forward into new territory. Sadly, not all sequels are worth a damn.  In fact, most could care less about the fans and their feelings and their only reason for existing is to cash in on the success of the first film.  With that being said, Dorchester's Revenge is the perfect continuation of the first film.  This is one sequel that does not disappoint.  The acting in this one is fun but several cast members showed their inexperience.  Horror vet Debbie Rochon made her role fun as hell and brought an extreme amount of humor to the film.  Then we switch gears up a bit and we have Jason Vail who delivers a serious role that was superb.  He is an actor I am surprised has not made a bigger name for himself.  The story for the film is fun and continues the story from the first film very nicely.  The film gives us even more insight on Dorchester, as well as, giving us even more camp and cheese.  The film also took the modern slasher back the their bloody roots and took us back into the woods.  This is a great throwback and a sequel!  Finally, the film does have a metric shit ton of on screen deaths.  Most of these deaths are very bloody and fun as hell.  They also showed a little bit of creativity reminding me even more of the slashers from the 80s.  Overall, Dorchester's Revenger is a fine horror film and possibly the best sequel to any horror movie that I have seen.  It is bloody, raunchy, and funny as hell.  I highly recommend this one!

Punk Rock Double Feature

PIG DEATH MACHINE
Writer:Jon Moritsugu/Amy Davis
Director:Jon Moritsugu
Starring:Amy Davis, Hannah Levbarg, Victor of Aquitaine
Availability: DVD available at www.jonmoritsugu.com
Rating:

CIGARETTE GIRL
Writer/Director:John Michael McCarthy
Starring: Cori Dials
Availability: DVD available at www.archer-records.com
Rating:

    Jon Moritsugu and John Michael McCarthy are two underground pioneers who I absolutely worship.  Their films have a sort of punk rock energy that recalls early John Waters, or in McCarthy's case, Russ Meyer.  It also feels like ages since they have released anything new.  Pig Death Machine and Cigarette Girl have been on the festival circuit for quite awhile now, but finally, after years of waiting, these films have finally seen the light of day on DVD.

    Jon Moritsugu's Pig Death Machine is a weird, WEIRD movie.  Aesthetically, it feels closer to the SOV delirium of Scumrock than the 16mm pleasures of Mod Fuck Explosion.  Moritsugu has embraced the video format in the way only a man of his wild vision can.  The colors pop out like a scene from a twisted acid nightmare.  In fact, if you've ever seen Nick Zedd's War Is Menstrual Envy, you might have an idea of the type of insanity you're about to experience.  The main difference, of course, is that Moritsugu actually has a sense of humor.

    Amy Davis, Jon Moritsugu's wife and long-time muse plays a total twit who, upon eating an unusual strand of pork, is suddenly transformed into a genius.  It also gives a punk rock waitress the ability to communicate with plants.  It's all absurd nonsense, but that's part of the charm here.  Moritsugu and Davis have a totally unpredictable sense of humor, at times being the closest heirs we have to the spirit of early John Waters movies.  One of the things that appeals to me about the work they've done together is how different each film is.  Moritsugu definitely has a singular vision, but he loves finding new ways to explore that vision.  I wouldn't call Pig Death Machine his best film, but it's probably his weirdest, and believe me that's saying something.

    John Michael McCarthy is a director that I discovered in the same way I imagine a lot of people discovered him.  Troma released one of his films, Superstarlet A.D.  It immediately became one of my favorite Troma releases.  It felt like the closest anyone has ever come to actually capturing the spirit of a Russ Meyer picture.  After I started seeking out his work (which isn't easy to do, mind you), I immediately became a fan.

    Cigarette Girl is a movie that McCarthy has had in the can for quite some time.  Finally, through the fine folks over at Archer Records, people now finally have the chance to see this wonderful little gem.  It tells the story of a futuristic society where smoking has been outlawed.  There are only certain sections of the town where you can smoke, and it's illegal to buy or smoke outside of this desolate wasteland.  Cori Dials (both sexy and delivering a command performance) shines as the Cigarette Girl.  She sells cigarettes for dirt cheap, and is also battling her own addiction to smoking.  Eventually, she becomes a sort of angel of death, someone who as the film's description would suggest, "would rather kill than smoke."

    McCarthy has dabbled in comics over the years, and it shows here.  This is an incredibly interesting movie visually, echoing the feel of a graphic novel.  It's a far more mature film than anything McCarthy has ever done before, ditching the trash aesthetic to tell a story that is truly original.  The movie is a lot of things.  It's at times hilarious, often times moving, and while it's far from a perfect movie, it should appeal to those who love their underground films to be weird, unique, and showing a true stylistic flair.

    In the world of underground cinema, there are still those certain films that receive all the attention.  A lot of times, I can appreciate the praise heaped at this films, but other times, I wonder why other, more daring films don't get any love.  Moritsugu and McCarthy are a couple of true punk rock auteurs.  A new film from them is always a cause of celebration, and these movies show that age hasn't neutered their vision.  There are still some truly daring voices in the world of independent cinema.

    Until next time, my fellow freaks and weirdos...

Ghostlight

Director - Jeff Ferrell (Love)
Starring - Eden Campbell (The Devil Walks in Salem), Lisa Coronado (Trauma), and David A. Crellin (Burlesque Assassins)
Release Date - 2013
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "The dead never sleep"
Format - Streaming (online screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Supernatural and ghost stories have been getting the indie treatment a lot lately and I have to admit that I am not a fan of this small movement. Ghost stories are hard to pull off on a no-budget production because they lack the funds needed to make the film eerie and creepy.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good supernatural flick but very few are able to pull it off.  However, we do have those great ones that really channel that campfire ghost story vibe like Ghost Story and The Others.  These films are scary as fuck and can make your skin crawl in certain moments.  Recently, I checked in with my friends over at Brain Damage where I saw they updated their screener list with a new ghost flick called Ghostlight.  The poster work looked fun so I checked it out.
     The film follows Andrew (Brian Sutherland) and his wife Mira (Coronado).  The couple was in a serious accident losing their precious young daughter. This also resulted in a huge hospital and burial bills that need to be paid so the young married couple can go on with their lives.  They get lucky when Andrew wins a radio contest to stay in an old theater for a chance to win $50,000.  Andrew accepts but a series of nightmares has Mira worried for his safety, as well as, the safety of their deceased daughters soul.  Andrew goes to the theater and learns that this competition takes place on the anniversary of a double murder suicide when the theater owner discovers that his beautiful wife is cheating on him with his assistant.  Andrew still agrees to stay but he is not alone and he quickly learns of his connection with the theater along with the meaning behind his wife's horrible nightmares.
     A good supernatural flick is just like telling a good ghost story.  It all rides on how well the story teller can spin his yarn.  The story teller has to build up the atmosphere and ride the suspense all the way through their tale.  The director is just like the story teller and has to make the film eerie, creepy, and spooky as shit.  Sadly, so many films fail to do so but Ghostlight is able to get the perfect atmosphere but fails at keeping it.  The acting in this one is fucking phenomenal and by phenomenal I mean fucking brilliant.  The entire cast was amazing and made each scene fun as hell.  The story for this one was lacking originality and the story telling charm that makes campfire tales so much fun.  The film uses a story similar to the classic Vincent Price flick House on Haunted Hill.  No originality or storytelling flare from the team is visible at all in the film.  We do keep some scenes that build in tension but fail to capitalize on it.  Finally, does not have that many on screen kills and the few we get are very weak.  The special effects are decent for the kills we get so that makes them a little more easier to stand.  Overall, Ghostlight is a weak supernatural flick that is fun to watch but poor on story and originality.  Check it out but the film does lack replay value. 

The Cemetery (2013)

 (out of 5)



The Cemetary (2013)

directed by:  Adam Ahlbrandt

starring:   J.D. Brown, Natalie Jean, Adam Huss, Tim Cronin, Tabetha Ray, Billy Gram, Roberto Lombardi, Ruby LaRocca, Victor Bonacore         

Format:  Online Screener (Soon to be in my physical collection!)

   

     I have a new favorite director and his name is Adam Ahlbrandt.  I cannot wait to get home and watch the Burnt House.  After seeing first the Crossbearer which blew me away I finally last night watched the online screener I received for The Cemetery which by all means I should have number one watched first and "B" should have watched a hell of a lot sooner.  I haven't been this excited about a director since I discovered Dustin Mills.  I most assuredly will have all Adam's films in my collection as soon as humanly possible since for me screeners or downloads definitely do not count as collection pieces, not even close.  I spoke briefly online with Mr. Ahlbrandt and he tried to steer me from watching Sight his first film saying it wasn't very good but no sorry Adam I must see everything you've done and at this point own it too.  Very excited for his next film The Sadist which I did contribute a pre-order for and proud to do so.

     Let's start out by saying The Cemetery is what happens when The Blair Witch Project and The Evil Dead have mad monkey sex and give birth to a child.  It's really the best description to give.  During the early times, 1600s I think, a crazy order of religious nuts built a church on an ancient Native American land and start torturing and murdering the native Americans in the process.  We get an introduction and a series of gory flashbacks to explain all this.  The gore in this one is absolutely amazing fx wise and plenty of it thrown around beginning to end.  Anywho shoot to present day and we have a small group of "ghost hunters" searching for the Cemetery of the old church with a stolen book from the archives detailing the murderous actions of the long dead priests.

 

      It gets worse and worse for our group when first Andrea (Natalie Jean) goes missing during the first night.  Slowly and violently the group gets literally ripped to pieces either by being possessed and then getting chopped up or being not possessed and getting their heads ripped off and guts pulled out.  Natalie Jean was the shining star for me she really nailed the part of both camp site slut and one of the demon possessed.  Like Crossbearer this movie had plenty of great sound effects including the growls of the demons running around the woods.  Adam also added the perfect touch of silliness within some the characters especially Adam Huss who plays Tim.  His character in particular was perfect for a laugh all the way up to his untimely death.  I really have no complaints for this movie other than the small complaint of throwing in more of a score than the death metal.  While I do enjoy the music by itself I'm always more in preference for scores.  I really can't get over how much I liked this one.  I went in expecting a lot after Crossbearer and when my blog boss Mac Brewer told me the Cemetery was better the hype went off the charts for me and it delivered in every way.  And I even got a quick cameo of one of my favorite indie lady's Ruby LaRocca towards the end of the film.  Do not pass the movie up and do not take as long to watch it as I did.  Right now I'm just anxiously awaiting my own physical copy so I can watch it without "For Screening Purposes Only" across the bottom of the screen.  THANK YOU ADAM AHLBRANDT!

            

The Stay Awake (1987)

 

 

The Stay Awake (1987)

directed by:  John Bernard

starring:  Shirley Jane Harris, Tanya Gordon, Jayne Hutton, Heath Porter, Ken Marshall, Michelle Carry, Lindsey Reardon, Christobel D'Orthez, Maxine John, Pierre Jacobs

Format:  Personal VHS Collection

Tagline:  When Night Turns To Nightmare

                         |

(out of 5)

     Recently I've felt the need to go through my old VHS collection.  I still have over 200 and sometimes I just get the itch for the grainy, lines through the screen, and/or foggy look of VHS tapes.  I am not one of these "VHS is great and classic" people whom I will never understand but I'm sure all the cloud/download people say the same for me and my DVDs/Blu-Rays.  I mean for me you have to have some sort of purchased physical copy or you own nothing.  But that's a subject for a separate time. 

 The Stay Awake was pretty bad I mean it had good intentions and could have been so much better had some of the writing been better.  There was just too much left out.  We have an evil rapist/serial killer who is gassed at the beginning of the film for raping and murdering a number of young women.  While he is being placed in the gas chamber we are shown a number of these dead women as flashbacks I'm assuming coming from the head of our killer.  Of course he begins to protest his death in the normal fashion of making evil threats before he's gassed.

     And cut to this Catholic School for Girls on a night where a small group of young ladies are staying awake all night to raise money for some great cause.  The writing and most especially the dialogue for this 80s piece of crap was atrocious beginning to end.  But it for me is one of those bad movies you just keep right on watching and can't figure out why. 
     The story jumps around there really is no reason why the killer chose this Catholic School for Girls to haunt and kill but the body count begins rising and our killer has a few different forms from his own body and glowing red eyes, to a green slimy rat monster(this is never explained), to a scurrying lizard across the floor (this is also not explained).  I love mystery in a movie but come on you have to have some background reason as to why this killer is coming back and turning into various creatures.  Towards the end the girls begin to fight back with some real bad acting and silly one-liners so all in all I would say stay away unless you want a bad 80s movie to go along with a bad movie night which is the only reason I rewatched this. 

Porto dos Mortos

aka Beyond the Grave

Director - Davi de Oliveira Pinheiro (The Soul Detective)

Starring - Rafael Tombini (Tea Time), Alvaro Rosa Costa (Two Summers), and Ricardo Seffner (In Your Name)

Release Date - 2010

Genre - Horror/Drama

Tagline - "Beware of the walking dude"

Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I have stated before in several of my reviews that my comfort zone is reviewing films from the U.S. and Canada. I have reviewed several Asian splatter flicks but for the most part I rarely leave my comfort zone.  That is unless I am requested to review a particular film.  Several months back Isidoro B. Guggiana reached out to me to review Porto dos Mortos aka Beyond the Grave that was released in 2010.  This was actually the first time I had heard of the film so I jumped at the thought of seeing it.  The film is a Brazilian post-apocalyptic film so I knew I would enjoy it.  It was also pretty exciting stepping into new territory for me. 
     The film follows the officer (Tombini) as he travels the barren landscape to bring in serial killers and murderers as he delivers his own brand of justice. The world is now plagued with the undead and most of the few remaining survivors are ruthless serial killers that torture those that are not as demented as them.  He also has another agenda.  He is looking for a mysterious zombie only known as the "Dark Rider."  Along the way he encounters more civilized survivors but trouble always finds a way to find the office in this dark landscape. 
     I always find it strange when I get asked to review a movie that I have never heard of before and discover that it is actually pretty damn good.  I always find that shit strange especially how everyone bitches about the current state big budget horror is in with all the unnecessary remakes and television adaptations currently being turned out over and over again.  If more people would just be more open to indie horror then things would change tremendously.  The fact I had never heard of this film before is shocking because this film was very good.  In fact, I could easily see this film fitting in with the American underground horror movement.  The acting in this one is hard to judge due to the English subtitles but the entire cast fit their roles which is something most indie films fail to do.  The story for this one is different for an indie horror.  We often seen the undead running a muck in post-apocalyptic indie flicks but we never get the whole drifter killing serial killers angle which made this one very original.  This story is so fun I could see an entire series of comics, books, and even more films being turned out of it.  Finally, the film has a lot of great death scenes with some very good special effects.  I was actually shocked by how great the special effects looked.  Overall, Beyond the Grave is a fucking fantastic post-apocalyptic horror flick.  Watch this one now!

Plaguers (2008)

Plaguers (2008)

directed by:  Brad Sykes

starring:  Steve Railsback, Alexis Zibolis, Noelle Perris, Jared Cohen, Bobby James, Stephanie Skewes, Chad Nell, Erica Brown, Maija Polsley, David Johnson, Michael Mori

Format:  NTSC Region 1:  Personal Collection

Tagline:  No One Is Immune

     Specials thanks to Morgue Asylum on this one I may never have seen it without their recommendation and facebook posting.  Plaguers for me was a breath of B-Movie fresh air without a ton of garbage cgi going with it.  Don't get me wrong I love the syfy channel style Sharknado type of b-movies but growing up in the eighties I definitely prefer my cgi to either be good Lord of the Rings style cgi or just left out completely I'd rather look at rubber masks any day of the week.  And Plaguers is not without it but it's so insignificant I barely noticed with the exception of the welding scenes.  



     Plaguers starts out following a small band of space pirates who have stolen an artifact of alien origin and are headed home to sell the green glowing orb to the highest bidder on planet earth.  Meanwhile they come across a derelict ship and stop to investigate although not all of the crew is convinced this is a good idea.  Once inside at first nothing is found except strange noises and a mysterious emptiness.  Then from out of no where these beautiful women appear and things turn completely around for our small band of pirates.  What seems to be a group of scared young girls quickly changes into a powerful little band of badass ladies out to steal the pirate's prize.

     Once the crew of pirates is captured they are forced to assist in transporting the glowing green orb elsewhere but one of the young girls is sprayed in the face and quickly turns into a sort of alien demon.  I mean I've seen one reviewer refer to these things as zombies but zombies don't grow sharp teeth or claws and the sounds they make just screams the Demons movies to me.  But everyone has their own idea as to what a "zombie" is.  To me it's dead and eats flesh.  But that's just my opinion.

     The gore in this little gem is enough to make the gorehound in me happy and I will admit more

would have been better but there is enough guts and blood to satisfy.  One scene in particular where an alien demon girls head gets split in half was just incredible I loved it!  As the film progresses the body count rises in more ways than one and by the end who you think's gonna live and die goes right out the window.  Steve Railsback did not give his usual caliber performance in my opinion but then again he did play a sort of cyborg.  Highly recommended!