Creeping Crawling

Director(s) - Jon Russell Cring (Tattitude) and Tracy Nichole Cring (Summer's Morn)
Starring - Raine Brown (Kung-Fu and Titties), Kevin Craig West (Summer of Sam), and Anna Shields (Little Bi Peep)
Release Date - 2012
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "It gets under your skin"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     Creeping Crawling.  This is one I had heard about sometime before when Dave Parker, aka MrParka, reviewed it on his YouTube channel.  I was sent the film to review and when I received it from Brain Damage Films I put the film on my shelf and forgot about it until recently when I discovered several films that I had forgot to review.  A few weeks ago I reviewed the killer roach flick They Will Outlive Us All and fucking loved it.  While I was watching it I started thinking about all the killer roach/bug flicks that I own or have seen.  Sadly these films are small in number but they are usually fun as hell to watch.  We do have a few films like Arachnophobia, Squirm, The Nesting, and Ticks but we could really use a few more.  

     The film follows two students who visit a professor who tells them three tales involving bugs.  The first story involves a fashion model who has a hard time dealing with her weight.  She decides to give herself a tapeworm so it can make her slimmer but she does not get the desired effect.  The second story follows a young lady who is tasked with taking care of a young man with a serious brain injury while his mother is out of the country for vacation.  She becomes infatuated with the young man even though he in a vegetative state.  One day while taking care of him she notices bugs all over him the the bed he is in.  She sprays it down with bug killer and the young man becomes responsive.  This triggers her to spray the room down with the spray so she can make love to him.  However, when the mother returns home she finds them both dead due to the bug killer.  The third and final tale follows a very timid young man who spends his day telemarketing and his nights trying to find love.  His co-workers start to notice that every time he has a date a dead woman is discovered the next day.  His manager tells his co-workers that he can not be a killer but he is aware that he has a fetish for bugs and is. indeed, the killer.  His manager sets him up with a friend of his.  The date goes smoothly but as the two are hitting it off she reveals she has a bug fetish as well and kills the killer.  

     I love a good anthology and the thought of seeing several great tales involving bugs really excited me.  I was concerned that the wrap around segment would be weak like so many indie anthologies but I did not let that stop me.  The acting in this one is hit or miss.  In some segments the acting is far better than others.  This is not consistent throughout the film and really drags the experience down.  Oddly enough, the acting does get better as the film progresses.  The story is the same as the acting and becomes better as the film moves on.  The first tale is rather bland and almost painful to watch.  The story was not intriguing to say the least.  The second tale started out slow but ended on a great note and set the tone for the third and final tale which was fucking fantastic.  This particular tale steals the show and saves the film from becoming another shitty anthology.  Finally, the film does not really offer on screen kills until the third tale and then we only get the one.  Instead, the film tries to get a reaction from the viewer by using bugs which most of the world's population finds unsettling anyway.  The one kill we do get is bloody and comes at the viewer unexpectedly.  The effects we get a limited but when we do get them they are spot on and do not let up.  Overall, Creeping Crawling is an anthology that starts out slow and then finishes with the viewer in it's back pocket.  The film lets the audience's phobias get the best of them and it works in the film's favor.  Check  it out!

  

Wakers

Director - Dylan Greenberg (Glamarus)
Starring - Blessing C.S., Jude Thomas (Glamarus), and Matt Katz Bohen
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Comedy/Fantasy
Tagline - Don't let me die again..."
Format - Streaming (online screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     A few weeks ago I was sent an email to check out a new film from director Dylan Greenberg.  This 17 year old has done more in her short life than most have done after living long, lustrous lives.  This young lady is the youngest full time employee at Troma and has already released two full length feature films with her first film being Glamarus.  Aside from that, she is also a musician with music available on iTunes.  With all that going on, she is also an outspoken representative of the trans-gendered community and has even authored a children's book on the topic.  This is one 17 year old that will leave a mark on the world.  Dylan had emailed me to check out her newest film Wakers which she described as a arthouse horror comedy.  Her involvement with Troma really excited me so I agreed to check it out and give it a shot.

     The film begins with a father turning the television off while his daughter watches The Adventures of Obououb Obuiuoua Boy and tells her a story.  The story follows Blessing, played by herself, who is consistently being harassed by her mother for doing drugs and such.  She meets up with some new friends and try a new drug.  This new drug "wakes" them up and transports them from a black and white world to a world of color.  Sadly, while she is there someone kills one of her friends and the police start an investigation.  She then meets up with some more friends and try the drug again resulting in them being hunted down and murdered.  Now the girl must fight to survive.

     The word "arthouse" holds different meanings for different people.  For me it means that the film will make no sense and will loosely follow the story set forth.  Wakers did just that.  The film rarely follows the story and relies heavily on trippy scenes that hold little value to the viewer.  The acting in this is the worst I have seen out of the years I have been writing reviews.  I hate to say this because I can usually find something redeeming out of the cast but I can not with this one.  Blessing has a hard time acting when it comes to her scenes and most of the time she is awkwardly smiling while almost screaming her lines.  The remainder of the cast is on the same level.  Some nervously smile the entire time while others stutter and yammer while saying their lines.  It is evident that the cast did not rehearse their lines or was given freedom to adlib or improve.  This resulted in some of the worst scenes I have ever seen.  We get a several minute conversation about tape on a kids mask.  Why would that need to be in a movie?  The story for this one is rather unique but fails to actually follow what they planned to tell.  Instead, the film veers off the path and delivers some psychedelic scenes that borderline on the goofy side.  I love a film that tries to capture the Troma feel but this one goes a little too far.  Finally, the film has a few kill scenes but they are nothing that memorable.  The practical and visual effects are surprisingly decent for the budget we get.  The trippy scenes that feel out of place are actually done very well and take me back to the VHS age.  With that being said, the scenes are flat and hard to watch.  Overall, Wakers is a film with a lot of promise but fails to deliver.  I hate to destroy a film sent to me for review but there is very few redeeming qualities that I could find in this one other than the fact they done something most dream of and that is make their own movie.  

Thrill Kill

Director - R. Zachary Shildwachter (Eat it Up)
Starring - Justin Buckner (I Am Alive) and Agata Stasiak (The Dentist)
Release Date - 2013
Genre - Horror
Format - Streaming

Rating (out of 5):

     Lately I have been on a short kick while I checked out the shorts from Sickening pictures and director Zachary Shildwachter.  I checked out their newest short titled Prognosis a few nights ago.  The short was beautifully shot and had an amazing performance from the beautiful B.J. Colangelo but the story was a little predictable.  Last night I posted my review for the short Eat it Up and it was fucking amazing.  The short was really amazing.  I followed that one up with the Thrill Kill which is more horror oriented and directed by Shildwachter.  Thanks Zach for letting me check it out!

     The film begins with a high speed getaway.  The driver is wearing a mask and his passenger, a beautiful young blonde, is injured and bleeding bad from a wound in her neck.  We soon learn that this is a heist gone wrong and she soon dies.  He pulled over and starts to get frisky with her and she suddenly awakes and pulls off the liquid latex from her neck.  We discover that he is a john and paid this young lady for the night to pretend to die so he can fulfill a sexual fantasy of fucking a dead girl.  She freaks out and gets out of the car with the money.  She walks away and the man turns the car on and runs her over.

     Shorts have a difficult task of trying to draw the viewer in quickly without losing them.  Shorts only have a limited amount of time to tell the story and hold the viewer's attention.  Lucky for us, Thrill Kill is able to do just that.  The film starts out by putting the viewer in the middle of all the action and then tosses several curves at them.  The acting in this one is fun but a little one sided  The girl does a great job at convincing the viewer she is injured.  The other star of the film does a great job in both his roles.  The first being the driver of the heist before switching it up to his second role as the perverted killer.  Both are great and make the film as fun as it is.  The story for this one is short and sweet with several curves.  The films is able to make you think it is going to go one way and completely pulls the rug out from under you.  Sadly, I wanted the film to continue.  It really did a great job at pulling the viewer in.  Finally, the film only has one kill and it takes place off camera.  With that being said, the short does have some fun practical effects that look great.  Overall, Thrill Kill is a short that hits hard and does not let up.  The films only downfall is that it is a short.  Check it out!

Eat It Up

Director - R. Zachary Shildwachter (Thrill Kill)
Starring - Dustin Mills (Slimy Little Bastards), Haley Madison (Hunters), and Allison Egan (Her Name Was Torment)
Release Date - 2015
Genre - Comedy
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Do you remember when movies were full of characters and not just people getting paid to play someone?  You know the days I'm talking about.  Back when you could go to the video store and rent Cry Baby, Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Monster Squad, Night of the Creeps and so many more.  Sadly, now movies are filled with flat characters that have as much personality as my ex-fiancee.  A few weeks ago I met director Zachary Shildwachter and he told me about his short Eat it Up.  I try not to venture of the horror/exploitation/sexploitation path with my reviews but sometimes my interest becomes peaked especially when I discovered it starred Dustin Mills, Josh Miller (Applecart), Haley Madison, and Allison Egan.  He was kind enough to shoot me the link to the online screener.  Thanks!

     The short follows two gangs that have a small town divided.  These gangs don't use guns or sell drugs.  Instead, they gain turf by competitive eating.  The best diner in town is owned by Tony (Mills) and the Von Schweetz claim it as their own.  However, the Horsemen of the Esophagus want to take it over and they have a new prospect that they hope has the gut to take if over.  They challenge the sisters in a spaghetti eating challenge for the fate of this diner.  

     

     I miss the way films from the 80s and early 90s made almost every character in the film crucial to the plot and if they were not then they at least made them funny.  No one was there for filler and served a purpose.  Tim Burton, John Waters, and Fred Dekker all knew this.  Sadly, this is something we rarely see anymore and I'm always caught off guard when I come across a movie that has amazing characters throughout.  Eat It Up is a short that gives us all characters that have staying power.  The acting in this one is nothing less than perfect.  Every cast member brought their own personalities and no two characters are the same.  We have some that are tough, some that are goofy, some that are straight forward, and all the ladies are hot as fuck.  The acting is very diverse and we get amazing characters from all over the spectrum.  This is how a short should be.  The story for this one is simple enough with a quirky spin.  Normally, this story would sound stupid as hell but the film is able to capture the charm of all the characters and is able to make it fun and alluring.  It honestly felt like a comedic version of The Warriors set in the back drop of Hungry.  Finally, the film does have a few laughs but nothing that I would consider gut-busting.  The laughs are decent but the film's praise points is definitely the characters they are able to toss together and the story they tell.  Overall, Eat it Up is the best short you will see this year.  The film has an amazing cast and a story that is easy to digest.  Check it out!

Prognosis

Director - Michelle Sabato
Starring - B.J. Colangelo (Eat It Up) and Kayla McDonald (Captain American: The Winter Soldier)
Release Date - 2015
Genre - Thriller
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     A few weeks back I became friends with director Zach Shildwachter of Sickening Pictures.  I met him after sharing a picture of the beautiful Haley Madison on Facebook from the film Scarewaves.  He informed me that he worked with her on his indie comedy Eat It Up.  We spoke about the film and he told me about a short he planned on releasing July 7th.  That short was titled Prognosis and he was kind enough to send it my way.  The short was directed by Michelle Sabato and starred B.J. Colangelo and Kayla McDonald.  It runs for about 3 minutes with the ending credits included.  Thanks Zach for letting me check it out!

     The short follows a young girl who is visiting a therapist to spill her guts.  She tells the therapist what truly bothers her and reveals that the therapist had actually done something to upset the young girl prompting her to deal with it the only way she knows how.

     I love reviewing shorts especially when they have a strong story and use their time wisely.  Some shorts start off on the right foot and keep a solid pace while telling a full story in a short amount of time all while holding the viewer's attention while others waste what little time they have.  Prognosis does not waste time and gets straight into the story which is what all shorts have to do if they want to be worth a damn.  The acting in this one is a little one sided but perfect.  Kayla McDonald has just one job and that is to sit still and not move.  She accomplished just that.  However, B.J. Colangelo is the main focus of the short and does an amazing job.  She holds the entire story with just her dialogue and does an amazing job.  This film honestly hinges on her performance.  The story for this one is well played but you see the twist coming a mile away.  The film is very predictable especially with the short's running time.  This twist would not have been so noticeable if the short was just a little longer and maybe had a little more something added to the story itself.  Finally, the short does not have any on screen deaths but we do have a death that involves a slit throat.  The effects are very minimal and do not drive the kill home for the viewer.  With that being said, this is not your typical horror short.  Instead, it is a dark thriller that thrives on story and not gore.  Overall, Prognosis is a beautifully shot short with some great images and a great performance from B.J.  Sadly, the story is very predictable.  Check it out, it at least deserves one watch.  

Savages Crossing

Director - Kevin James Dobson (The Virgin of Juarez)
Starring - John Jarratt (Wolf Creek), Chris Haywood (Sleeping Beauty), and Sacha Horler (Babe: Pig in the City)
Release Date - 2011
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Revenge runs deep"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     In 2005 the Australian horror flick Wolf Creek took over the horror community.  The film offered a brutal story and an amazing performance from then unknown star John Jarratt.  The man had been acting since the 70s but became a staple in the horror community when the film was released.  Wanting to quickly capitalize on his fame, director Kevin Dobson cast him in his horror film Savages Crossing.  MVD was kind enough to send me a review copy of the film some time ago and I sadly forgot about it.  The film looked interesting but when I moved I forgot I had it.  Sorry, MVD that it took me so long to check this one out!

     The film follows a group of Australians who are forced to seek refuge in a diner as a horrible storm hits and floods the surrounding area.  Among the crowd is an abusive husband who tracked his family down that was trying to get away from the drunk.  When he arrives his family is not too happy to see him and soon a "cop" arrives to arrest him and soon it is clear that he is not really a man of peace but tries to kill the father figure.  He fights back and kills the fake cop only to reveal hie is far more evil than his family thought.
     Savages Crossing was a film I was a bit excited largely due to John Jarratt's involvement.  The man was ruthless, cunning, and down right chilling in Wolf Creek and the thought of him giving another riveting performance really excited me.  Sure, Wolf Creek 2 is out already and I could easily grab that but I wanted something just a little different.  Sadly, what we got was a slow burning horror flick that tried to toss in the thriller feel.  The acting in this one is no where near the level I expected especially from Jarrat who just absolutely killed it in WC.  His character flip flops throughout the film.  At first he plays the sympathy card and portrays a weak character and then flips it into a ruthless killer but no where near WC.  The remainder of the cast does a solid job supporting the film but Jarratt is clearly the focal point of the film.  The story for this one is nothing new.  A group of people locked inside a building and forced to defend themselves.  This has been seen in so many films but this one does try to mix it up and some of the WC allure only to fail miserably.  The story is slow burning and way too much dialogue in between scenes of interest.  Finally, the film does have a couple kill scenes but the are nothing spectacular.  In fact, they are all pretty dull and boring.  The practical effects are great for what we get but I was expecting something so much more.  Overall, Savages Crossing is a film that tries to capture what made Wolf Creek so popular only to deliver one of the slowest moving horror films that I have seen in recent years.  I do not recommend this one.