New Blood Rising

Director - Chad Zuver (Night of the Living Dead 2014)
Starring - Kayla Elizabeth (Night of the Living Dead 2014, P.O.E.), Dana Furlong (Unnoticed), and Vanessa Leonard (Talk Nerdy to Me)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Vampires are a touchy subject among horror fans in recent years.  From the beginning age of cinema the vampire has ruled the roost with the film Nosferatu and again in the 30s with Dracula.  The vampire still had reign over horror up until recent years with Stephanie Meyers ruining them for the horror obsessed fan.  Since 2008 horror fans have stayed away from vampire oriented films because they are now tainted by the shit stink of Twilight.  Though many films before have tried to romanticize vampires none of them went to the degree that Twilight did making it hard for fans to be open minded to other vampire flicks.  Recently, director Chad Zuver reached out to me to review his flick New Blood Rising.  I instantly knew the film was a vampire flick but I had no idea what kind of vampire film it was.  Was it a vampire film that depicts them as blood thirsty beasts or is it a film that shows they have a human?  I had no idea but I was curious.    

The film follows a family of vampires who just happen to be the last vampires on Earth.  Most of the vampires in the world has been eradicated by a family of vampire hunters.  Now, both clans just happen to converge in one small town.  The vampires are in search of someone that is "pure" so they can use their blood to raise a vampire army while the hunters are there to stop them.  The vampires find a pure soul in the form of a extremely bitchy teenager who just happens to take an eye to one of the hunters.  The vampires start turning her friends and family against her to break her down but the hunters quickly realize her importance and rally around her before all hell breaks loose.
     I can take my vampires different ways.  I can take them if they are completely brutal with an insatiable appetite for blood or I can take them as unsuspecting menaces of the night in a cliched campy kinda way.   Sadly, New Blood Rising was neither but it did stay away from the kind of vampires established in Twilight.  New Blood Rising felt more like a teen drama than it did a horror movie which was really disappointing.  The acting in this one is very hard to watch.  The cast tried hard but their lack of experience showed in every scene.  Sadly, having heart did not go the distance in this one.  The film is also home to one of the worst fight scenes I have ever seen in a film regardless of the caliber.  I was actually embarrassed for watching that particular scene.  The story for this one is one that has been told numerous times before.  In fact, it is very similar to the very first Blade film with Blade and Whistler trying to stop a clan of vampires from awakening an ancient evil.  Though the film was nothing new it did have a few campy moments that made for some enjoyment just not an abundance of it.  Finally, the film does have a few kills but nothing special.  Most are what you would expect from a vampire flick.  A few bite marks here, blood smeared there.  Nothing that would re-invent the genre.  Overall, New Blood Rising is a vampire movie that just does not feel like a horror flick.  The film has an amateur cast and a familiar story but it does have a few brief campy moments that prevents it from being a total waste of time.  The film deserves at least one viewing.

The Girl Who Played With The Dead

THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH THE DEAD
Writer/Director:Cory J. Udler
Starring:Kristen Casey, Shannon Lark, Blade Braxton, Lloyd Kaufman
Availability:DVD Available at www.incestdeathsquad.com
Rating:

For this installment of Demons of Celluloid, I decided to try my hand at a video review.

Until next time, my fellow freaks and weirdos...

Cheap Thrills

CHEAP THRILLS
Starring:Pat Healy, Ethan Embry, David Koechner, Sara Paxton
Writer:Trent Haaga, David Chirchirillo
Director:E.L. Katz
Availability:DVD widely available from Drafthouse Films
Rating:

    Hype can be a dangerous thing.  If a movie doesn't live up to it, there's always the inevitable backlash.  I have never been one to buy into hype, especially with indie cinema.  I've found that my tastes are often wildly different from the norm, and I'm fine with that.  A recent example of this was Daddy's Little Girl.  Just about every reviewer I've encountered loved it, and I just thought it was a half-baked mess.  So, while everything about Cheap Thrills seemed like a movie I would love, the overwhelming amount of hype it received made me more than a bit skeptical.

    Well, I can safely say that Cheap Thrills is that rare movie that lives up to the hype.  This is dark comedy at its absolute blackest, and I loved every fucking minute of it.  Pat Healy plays a down on his luck guy who, while drinking with an old friend who seems to have hit hard times as well, meets a mysterious couple who start offering the both of them insane amounts of money to take on a harmless bet or two.  However, as the night progresses, the bets become more outlandish and dangerous, and the two have to come to terms with the fact that, when it comes to money, there are very few things that are off limits.

    There are so many things worth applauding here.  For starters, the acting is fantastic!  Pat Healy plays the part of the family man struggling with his own moral code beautifully.  Healy is an actor that's really been making a name for himself lately, and I can't wait to see just how much he is capable of as an actor.  Ethan Embry is the deadbeat friend, and though I've always found him likable as an actor, he's never delivered a performance with this kind of intensity.  David Koechner, as the man with the cash, gives his role the perfect blend of menace and hilarity.  This is an ensemble working at the peak of their powers, and I don't know that the movie would have worked as well without these players.

    One thing I will say is that this is definitely a writer's movie.  Trent Haaga and David Chirchirillo's screenplay is an absolute marvel.  The dialogue is razor sharp, and they simply refuse to let their characters fall into the realm of caricature.  Not only that, but the movie is not as predictable as you might be led to believe.  It definitely caught me off guard on more than one occasion.  I do have to give some mad props to director E.L. Katz.  Katz has spent most of his career as a writer, most notably as the writer of the first couple Adam Wingard flicks, and I think that's a big part of why this movie works so well.  He understands the importance of the written word.  Plus, he keeps the pace moving at such a breakneck speed, that it's absolutely impossible to be bored.  It's not heavy on style, but Katz certainly shows an insane amount of skills behind the camera.

    Drafthouse Films never ceases to impress me with the quality of films they distribute, and this one is no exception.  Cheap Thrills is a movie that is perfectly suited for my sense of humor.  It's grim, depressing stuff, but once you reach the simply perfect final shot of the film, you can't help but walk away with a big, shit-eating grin.  I can't recommend this movie enough.  I've seen a lot of people compare this to last year's Would You Rather, but where that movie was a nasty little b-movie with a fantastic turn from Jeffrey Combs, this is a much more satisfying experience.  Great acting, brilliant writing, and a demented arsenic-laced wit make this one a near masterpiece, and easily one of the best indie films I've seen this year.

    Until next time, my fellow freaks and weirdos...

Class of Nuke'Em High (1986)

Class of Nuke ' Em High (1986)
directed by:  Lloyd Kaufman
starring:  Janelle Brady, Gil Brenton, Robert Prichard, Pat Ryan              
Format:  NTSC Region 1 Personal Collection

     Some people have Meatballs or Porky's, some have The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles, but I have Class of Nuke-Em High.  Nothing puts me in the 80s high school movie mood like this classic Troma film from the one and only Lloyd Kaufman Godfather of independent cinema.  I go back and forth between this and Toxic Avenger as my favorite Troma film although Tromeo and Juliette is definitely a close third.
 
     The actors in this typical chaotic Troma Team release were both bad and good.  To be expected with a Troma movie.  Janelle Brady was my least favorite but as I've stated before if you're going into a movie like this expecting a Danielle Day Lewis performance from every actor shame on you.  In fact really to make fun of anything in a Troma film is a big shame on you for me because Troma movies are made to be bad and offensive so in essence love it and just stay away from them.
       Just insane silliness as we follow around our two main characters Chrissy and Warren watching their little high school sweetheart romance grow from their first Tromatic time to side by side fighting a giant toxic waste monster in the end.  Oh man I love crazy horror/sci-fi comedies and Nuke'Em High does not hide the laughs.  At least for me.  The Cretins are ex nerds who got too close for comfort with some Tromaville toxic waste turning them into a rough gang of super punks.  These super punks end up selling one of Warren's friends a toxic

waste laced joint and after Warren and Chrissy smoke it at a party all hell breaks loose literally.  Warren transforms into a disgusting zombie looking thing and kicks some ass and Chrissy gets pregnant only to project a tiny green creature from her vagina.  Yes it's a good ol' Troma classic and this one has my highest recommendation.  No one does movies like Lloyd Kaufman and that's a fact.  

        

Escape From Kings Park

Director(s) - Samuel Oswald Stone (How to Make An Independent Film) and Jennifer Valdes (Jack 'O' Slasher)
Starring - Mara Lee Gilbert (Twilight Theatre), Rani Karnik (Descent of Man), and Bettina Skye (Junk Food and Horror Films)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Cinema Gold!"
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     The indie horror community is one that is forever growing.  Just when I thought I have at least heard of a majority of the indie flicks being made I then come across a few hundred more making it impossible to review them all (at least it's a goal mother fuckers!).  Back in December I was on the look out for something a little different to watch and review.  A friend of mine let me know about the flick Escape from Kings Park.  I searched Facebook for the film and found the page.  The film looked fun so I reached out to the page for a review copy.  Sadly, the film was not finished so I had to wait.  Last month the page sent me a message that the film was finished but I was in the middle of moving and when things started to settle down my wife gave birth so things have been crazy here.  I was finally able to sit down and watch the film so thank you for sending me the link!

     The film follows a group of twenty-something as they travel to an abandoned asylum with a video camera to explore the property.  While inside the building they are stalked and picked off one by one.  We then learn that one of the girls survived and that it was her deranged mother that killed her friends.  She then attacks her mother and kills her.  We then jump back and learn that the young girls mother was once a famous indie director that was in an abusive relationship.  One day her husband goes too far and she kills him with a meat tenderizer.  After this incident she goes are an artistic endeavor and starts killing other indie filmmakers that she feels are unoriginal.  She then records these murders as part of a faux documentary, that is until she gets caught.

      When it comes to indie horror you never know what you will get.  Sometimes you get lucky and catch an amazing indie flick that surpasses all expectations.  Sadly, this is not something that you get every time.  Sometimes you get a movie that just veers off somewhere after the film starts rolling and goes south from there.  That is what happened with Escape from Kings Park.  The film started out with a great premise. Then the film turned sour when we got what felt like another film inside of a film.  In all honesty, the film felt like it was a movie and it's sequel all wrapped into one.  The first story involving the curious twenty-somethings was fun and once that story unfolded the film should have ended.  We then get the second story that was rather bad but bold.  This story was very promising but was not executed the way it needed to be done to be more effective.  The acting in this one is hit or miss.  The acting in the first story was amateurish but showed a lot of heart.  The cast in that segment was very excited for their roles but lacked the experience needed to make it great.  The second story felt out of place and the cast showed this as well.  The cameo appearance from Dave Campfield was solid and fun but the Bradley Creanzo cameo felt like it was added on the spot with him unaware of the what was going on until later.  The story for this film is hit or miss like I stated earlier. The first segment was solid and created a fun found footage flick.  However, the second portion of the film was a very ambitious story but did not turn out the way it should have.  Finally, the film does have some decent kills and decent special effects.  The kills are nothing new but they were still fun to see and the special effects were just enough to pull the gags off.  Overall, Escape from Kings Park is a film that could have been an indie home run but problems in story and continuity took away from the overall film.  

7th Day

Director - Jason M. Koch (Lamplight)
Starring - Mark S. Sanders (V/H/S, V/H/S 2), Daisy Gibb (Sealed Fates), and Josh Davidson (Witch's Brew, Deadlands: The Rising)
Release Date - 2012
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Horror has no conscience" and "Hi, I'm Allen and this is what I do"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Some movies are made and instantly gain a following while others are made and slip into obscurity.  Then we sometimes get a film that is utterly fucking amazing but takes some time to gather momentum.  In 2012 Dire Wit Films made the film 7th Day.  This film slipped through the cracks until I would learn about it only recently even though it has gathered quite an underground following.  I am actually of fan of Dire Wit and their releases of Pleasures of the Damned and Isle of the Damned.   Both films were hilarious so I reached out to director Jason Koch.  He was nice enough to send me a review copy but he did warn me that this flick was unlock the other two.  This was a warning I did not heed.
     The film follows 7 days in the life of Allen Dean (Sanders).  Dean is a sharp man that keeps to himself and lives a lifestyle all his own.  He also kills people for various reason.  He doesn't kill to satisfy a sexual urge or cannibalistic cravings.   He does sometimes fuck his victims and cook em up but for the most part he just kills them.  However, he kills because he has the need to kill.  He does have an infatuation with a beautiful co-worker, Denise (Gibb), but she is physically disgusted with him.  He tells his week long tale to an imaginary man who is interviewing him documentary style.

     When a director warns you that his film is unlike anything you have seen before you tend to play it off as if he (or she) is just full of shit.  I typically try to be polite but deep down I just feel that the director is slightly conceited.  However, after watching 7th Day I realize what director Jason Koch was really saying when he said the film was nothing like the other two Dire Wit flicks.  This film is real and brutal while the others were over-the-top and ridiculous.  The acting in 7th Day is fucking phenomenal.  The entire cast did an amazing job.  In fact, I have to say that Sander's performance has earned him a place in my favorite indie actors list.  He is very convincing at portraying a disturbed individual.  The story for this one is one that has been told in a way before but none have went to the lengths this film did.  Very few stories have went that in depth into the life of a serial killer and even fewer have went about it the way this film did.  Finally, the film has a lot of on screen kills and special effects.  Both are superb and make this film an instant classic among horror fans.  Overall, 7th Day is bold horror film that has to be seen.  This is the kind of film that should be required viewing for any horror fan.  Check it out!

  

Squandered Potential Double Feature

LIZARDMAN
Writer: Francis Abbey, Steve Goldenberg
Director: Peter Dang
Starring:  Alejandra Bejar, Steven M Blasini, Brittany Blaze
Availability: DVD Available at www.alternativecinema.com
Rating:

THE BIKER WARRIOR BABE VS THE ZOMBIE BABIES FROM HELL
Writer/Director: Jeremiah Morehouse
Starring: Brii Davis, Jake Dylman, Jessica Bloom
Availability: None at the moment
Rating:

 

    So, one of the worst things about being an avid fan of indie cinema is the amount of movies that have some strong ideas, but are hampered by poor choices made by the directors, and an all around sense of amateurism.  I know that making movies is a learning experience, and not everyone gets it right.  Still, if you don't have the means to achieve your ambitious visions, then it doesn't hurt to think small.  Tonight, I'm going to cover a couple recent films that could have been good, but instead settled on being merely mediocre.

    First off, let's talk about Peter Dang's LizardMan.  This movie is an obvious love letter to the creature features of the 50s.  For this reason alone, I should love it.  Even the plot is pure 50's era schlock.  A billionaire, who as a teen survived an encounter with a mysterious lizard man, decides to use his fortune to enlist a group of mercenaries and a TV personality to help capture the monster, and exploit him.  For starters, I will say there are some good things about this movie.  The acting, while nothing to write home about, is certainly decent for the most part.  The writing is passable, and I'm glad they decided to use an actual rubber suit for the creature.

    However, one thing that really brings this movie down are the abysmal CGI effects.  I detest awful, cheap CGI.  I understand it's an economical thing for a lot of modern indie directors to use, but if you can't make it look good, it can hurt you film immensely.  The other problem with this movie is that it's just not very interesting.  The characters lack much in the way of personality, and the movie doesn't have one bit of style.  In fact, it feels no better than your typical made for TV movie.  It's certainly watchable, and has its moments, but overall, this is a movie that had the ingredients to be an entertaining throwback, and settled on being a forgettable bore.

    The next movie I'm going to cover had me sold almost immediately.  For one thing, the movie is called The Biker Warrior Babe Vs The Zombie Babies From Hell.  Doesn't that title just sound fucking awesome?  Then I saw the cover art, which made me even more excited.  I couldn't wait to pop this bad boy in, and revel in what I was certain was going to be some sort of modern day cult classic.  Wrong!  Now, don't get me wrong.  This movie had a lot more personality than LizardMan, but the movie had so many problems, I was never able to invest in anything that was unfolding on screen.

    For starters, we need to once again focus on the effects.  Look, the idea of a swarm of zombie babies attacking a community is certainly ripe with possibilities.  However, I'd rather see foam rubber dolls than this embarrassing excuse for CG work that hurts the movie whenever the babies show up on screen.  Another problem with this movie, and this is a common issue I see in so many indie films, is the sound.  There were several occasions when I had to struggle to make out what the actors were saying.  Even the lighting, mostly in dark outdoor shots, was incredibly problematic.  Seriously, the whole time I watched this movie, I got the feeling I was watching something that was unfinished.  Hopefully, before the movie reaches distribution, they can iron out some of the technical flaws, because they are quite distracting.

    Otherwise, though, this movie is not a half bad little flick.  It has some charming characters.  The actors are all pretty good in it.  There's a good bit of humor on display, too.  This is why this movie was so frustrating.  There were so many times when I found myself wanting to like the movie.  I mean, it was obvious everyone has having a lot of fun making it.  However, I just couldn't look past the numerous technical flaws, and instead I just couldn't shake the feeling that there's a good movie in here somewhere.  I just don't know if any of us will ever see it.

    I hate picking on indie movies.  I really do.  Underground cinema is near and dear to my heart.  However, as a reviewer and avid film fan, it's so frustrating when a director lacks the cinematic know how to make their product noteworthy.  I'd rather watch bad movies made my passionate auteurs than mediocre movies made by would be hacks.  There are things to recommend in both of these flicks, and keep in mind I am but one man and his opinion.  Still, there are better ways to spend your time, and far more talented directors who are worth spending your money on.

    Until next time, my fellow freaks and weirdos...

Shorts Review:Winkerland Productions

ArMe
Writer/Director:Keith Voigt Jr.
Starring: Alexander Suder
Rating:

Lust
Writer/Director:Keith Voigt Jr
Starring: April McKinley, Dylan Rhodes
Rating:

Availability:DVD available at www.toetag.biz

    Keith Voigt Jr. is someone who I hate immensely.  I don't hate him because he's untalented, or because I think he's a nasty little bloke.  I hate him, because he's nearly 10 years younger than me, and has already established himself as a voice to be reckoned with in the world of indie horror.  Look, Toetag doesn't just distribute anything.  To know that you've earned the respect of Fred fucking Vogel would be enough to make any indie director orgasmic.  All it took was a few short films, and Keith has done it!  Fuck you, good sir!  None of us old fuckers can compete with that.

    In all seriousness, though, when I first became aware of the shorts he was doing with his production company, Winkerland Productions, I was intrigued.  They looked like films made with some real passion and heart.  Plus, the few interactions I had with Keith on social media really made me like the guy.  Here was a guy who obviously really loved the genre he was a part of, and there was a great many people who seemed to truly respect the guy.  When it was announced that Toetag would be putting out the DVD, I knew it was something I was going to have to make a part of my collection.  Look, folks.  Independent horror is something I live for, and that will never change.

    So, I suppose we should start with the first short film on the set, ArMe.  This is definitely the most controversial short here.  Essentially, it's about an Iraq vet who comes home, and realizes the pressures of civilian life are far too much for him to bear.  So, he finds an arms dealer, and decides he's going to take the matters of the world into his own hands.  There are a lot of ways this short could be viewed.  Some could see it as a statement about this country's obsession with gun culture.  You could also take it as a way of showing the way war affects those who are forced to fight it.  This is definitely the most polished short in the set.  The acting is great.  There is a real abundance of style on display here.  Plus, no matter where you stand politically, this short doesn't bludgeon you with a "message."  It's just a tried and true short little burst of nihilism, and I definitely applaud the vision.

    Lust, the other main short on the set, is one that I sort of find myself preferring, even if it is a bit more rough around the edges.  This is a tale of a coffee shop girl who is absolutely obsessed with a fellow customer.  Her advances are beyond inappropriate, and one has to wonder why this guy wouldn't have found a new establishment to frequent.  Her infatuation leads to a very demented, twisted series of events that I won't spoil here.  Suffice to say, this is where you can see a lot of that classic Toetag influence.  The gore sequences in this one are excellent, and definitely help the short reach its maximum impact.  Plus, Keith knows not to skimp on the nudity.  I have to salute him for that.

    Now, the special features on this disc definitely make it worth the purchase for those who are put off by paying for only about 30-40 minutes of material.  For starters, there's an extra short film, Sandwich, that might actually be my favorite short on the set.  Before I picked this one up, Keith showed this to me quite a bit, because he knew it would fit my sensibilities.  It's a sort of existential film about a man who not only has to deal with the stresses of his day to day existence.  He also has to grapple with the intellectual ramblings of his sandwich who secretly wants to eat a chicken sandwich.  It's weird, it's funny, it's sort of brilliant.  There are also a slew of extras dealing with the other shorts on the set.  It's definitely an essential purchase if you are a fan of underground cinema.

    I would like to apologize to Keith.  I've been meaning to get this review done for some time now.  I needed to get some screeners reviewed first, and take care of various other things.  So, the week since my last review has found me getting my priorities straight, so I'm going to get back to reviewing on a more regular basis again.  I really dug these shorts, and I can't wait to see what Keith does with a feature length.  Oh, and Keith, when the fuck are you going to give in and make Play With Me already?  I've got my money in hand waiting when that day arrives.

    Until next time, my fellow freaks and weirdos...

The Lost Empire

Director - Jim Wynorski (House on Hooter Hill)
Starring - Melanie Vincz (Blade in Hong Kong), Raven De La Croix (The Double-D Avenger), and Angela Aames (Chopping Mall)
Release Date - 1985
Genre - Action/Adventure/Fantasy
Tagline - "A roaming adventure with blistering action and eye-popping women"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     A lot of people try their hand at directing but very few have been able to make a b-movie that lasts the test of time.  Even less are able to make a career out of b-movies but director Jim Wynorski has been able to just do that.  Wynorski started his bloody b-movie reign in the 80s and is still going today.  Though his name is not that widely known but his films have gathered a huge cult following.  The films Chopping Mall, Deathstalker II, Ghoulies IV, and Sorority House Massacre II are among many that have a huge following.  Recently, I caught wind that MVD and Polyscope was releasing Wynorski's first film The Lost Empire on DVD.  I had to have this so I reached out to MVD and they were nice enough to hook me up with a screener and for that I thank you!

     The film follows officer Angel Wolfe (Vincz) who is investigating the murder of her brother officer Rob Wolfe.  Rob Wolfe was murdered when he was trying to prevent a robbery at a jewelry store by masked ninjas wielding throwing stars on strings.  The ninjas were after a powerful ancient relic.  Her investigation leads her to an underground fighting tournament held by the clan of ninjas where they pit woman against woman.  The clan is ran by an undead wizard (Angus Grimm) and the man responsible for Rob's murder.  Angel Wolfe teams up with two other beautiful women who are rough around the edges and they enter the tournament to get even with these evil fuckers.

     I had never seen The Lost Empire before I was sent the screener and I have to say it was not what I expected.  I assumed this was a sword and the sandal kinda flick meshed with an 80s fantasy flick like Flash Gordon and I was somewhat right.  The film was a more campy flick that felt close in style to Flash Gordon but was actually not a sword and the sandal flick.  Instead it was a fun action adventure film that changes scenery rapidly.  The acting in this one is kinda in the middle of the road.  Some of the cast did a solid job in their roles while others forced themselves way too hard creating uneven scenes and awkward dialogue.  The story for this one is actually fun and I feel could have actually inspired the iconic video game Mortal Kombat which has a very similar story line.  In fact, a character in the game joins the Mortal Kombat tournament to settle a score against one of the combatants.  The story is very campy and flawed but has several redeemable moments.  Finally, the film doesn't really have any kill scenes but has some of the most iconic 80s visual effects I have ever seen.  Overall, The Lost Empire is a campy fireball that is sure to ignite your imagination.  This film is as much fun as it is flawed.  Check it out!