Mutantis

Director - Kelly Fitzgerald (Isle of the Damned)
Starring - Darren Bolk, Gary Brown, and Mark Colegrove (Lost Trailer Park: Never Coming Attractions)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline(s) - "Half-Man! Half-Beast! All Terror!" and "The toxic terror that will scare you to death"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     When October rolls around most horror fans pick up their moving watching game and turn towards the films that are more serious in tone or focus on Halloween.  I prefer to watch kid friendly horror films or horror films that rely on cheap laughs and potty humor during the month of October because I watch the other all year round.  I recently watch the low-budget horror comedy Nuclear Neighbourhood and wanted to follow it up with another horror comedy.  Not long ago the fine folks over at Dir Wit Films sent me their newest flick Mutantis to view.  They always know how to hit the funny bone so I knew I would be in for good time with this one!
     The film follows intellectual Father Joy as he takes his step-siblings and their virgin (she sucks dick and takes it in the ass) friend out for a camping trip with a more sinister motive. He is on the look out for a legend in the valley they will be camping in.  The legend is known as Mutantis and he is said to be an ape like creature but it obviously a mantis mutation.  He secretly hired a team of hillbillies to help him find the beast and they succeed but they are unable to keep the beast trapped.  Mutantis breaks free and kills all the hillbillies, some hippie campers, and their horny virgin friend.  They quickly learn that Mutantis is a hermaphrodite and has been trying to breed ever since it was mutated by toxic waste.  They try to stop the beast before it can become pregnant but is it too late?

     Dir Wit is a team I know that will never let me down.   They have released some of my favorite films in the indie horror scene.  Films like Isle of the Damned and Pleasures of the Damned are two films I can always count on cheering me up if I have a shitty day and 7th Day I know I can watch if I want to watch a well made horror flick.  The poster above let me know that this film would be wild like the two Damned films and boy was I write.  This film was hilarious and fit in perfectly with the other two films.  The acting in this one is bad but that was intentional which means the cast did an outstanding job.  Don't try to make sense out of that because you wont and that is the point of the acting in this film.  All the characters are fake and over the top.  I always have the need to watch a Monty Python sketch after watching a Dir Wit film.  The story for this one is one told before especially in the Troma age of indie films.  However, you don't have to be original to be fun and Dir Wit proves that time and time again.  Finally, the film has horrible practical effects and I fucking loved it.  The film, if you did not notice, was intended to be bad and the special effects were no different.  I did like the look of Mutantis but it was cheap.  SyFy should hire Dir Wit to take on their next creature feature and we may end up with a Sharknado movie worth a damn!  Overall, Mutantis is a damn good film that is funny as hell.  It shows how you don't need a big budget to knock the viewer's socks off.  It also shows how recycled stories can be retold in a brand new light.  Do yourself a favor and check it out because this is one that will not let you down. 

Collar - Vultra Video VHS release

“I’m not a misogynist, I love women” - Ryan Nicholson

Vultra Video has created quite a treat for Plotdigger Films fans.  We have an excellent VHS release of Ryan Nicholson’s “Collar” ahead of its US theatrical premiere at Slaughter in Syracuse.  This release is now sold out, and if you were one of the lucky ones, you truly got a great piece for your collection as well as a chance to see the movie well before the dvd & blu release.

Let’s examine what’s included before we talk about the film.  Take a moment to enjoy the outside art. Each copy was signed and numbered by Ryan. Pop open the clamshell case and notice the bright orange tape.   Bask in it’s safety cone-hued glory.  The stickers on this tape are looking slick.   A folded poster of the box art is included. My favorite part is the limited card with an attached swatch of the jacket the killer “Massive” wore during the film.

First up, we have an intro from Ryan.  He is on location at the shack where most of the film was shot.  This is Massive’s warm safe place, to murder, cannibalize, and rape.  We’ll get to that in a minute…  Ryan’s intro is informative, and gives you a little behind the scene’s glimpse of visuals and a few stories.  The shack actually is filthy.  You get the feeling this is going to be an uncomfortable film.

Collar opens with Nick Principe as “Massive”, an ominous homeless man pushing his pentagram-adorned shopping cart around various locations.  He’s unkempt, filthy, and likely infested with vermin.  He keeps having these flashbacks… I’ll not say to what.  Suddenly he decides to shave off his dreads.  Does he clean up well?  Fuck no.

This is one of Principe’s best roles since “Summer of Massacre” where he played the mentally challenged hermaphroditic sister.  Massive has almost no dialog, but his screen presence is sinister and his batshit craziness is through the roof.  The shack roof, that is. Not just any shack, the love shack.  There’s a bunch of non consensual penetration going on in there. Ryan wasn’t kidding during the intro when he said there’s a lot of rape.  These scenes are not overly brutal rape, but its frequent enough to add an extra thick layer of sleaze to this exploitation excursion.  

So story goes this big psycho homeless dude lives in a filthy shack fucking, killing, and eating various bystanders, other homeless, and some local prostitutes.  One of these ladies of the night gets away and alerts the police.  A rookie cop responds with her partner, and things go downhill for them pretty quick.  Lil’ miss rookie gets herself collared up by Massive, and that’s just the start of her troubles.  The escapee finds some friends to posse up.  Will they lynch that nasty rapist bum Massive or will they just wind up more meat for the beast?

This is a filthy, grimy film.  Its the equivalent of that nasty shack.  There is a story to all this grit and sleaze, and a decent side plot about the voyeurs.  I’m glad there’s some back story to Massive, kinda clues you in on just how he became fucked up worse than a soup sandwich.  

For the budget Ryan and team were working with, I think they pulled it off successfully. There are some good practical fx at work for our enjoyment.  Head-crushing, gut-munching fun for the whole fucked up family.   The whole film has that retro feel to it, and being presented in VHS format just adds that additional visual element and makes for a great package.  I cannot tell you the audio is completely on point, as I found myself having to turn the TV almost all the way up to be able to hear most of the film.

I would recommend Collar to fans of exploitation and sleaze.  If you already are into Plotdigger,  this will be a treat for you.  Vultra Video and Plotdigger put out a great collector's piece and chance to see the film early!  Proud to have this gem in my Plotdigger collection.

Score: 4/5

PS COLLAR out November 18 on UNEARTHED FILMS! http://www.unearthedfilms.com/

Nuclear Neighbourhood

Director - Matthew J. Oliver
Starring - Travis Cannon, Megan Schultz, and Steve Renouf
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "Coming to your neighborhood this summer"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

      It's no secret that I am a huge fan of silly horror films that tend to be more comical than they are horrifying.  Horror comedies and black comedies are easily my favorites and that is why I am such a fan of Troma.  Troma flicks tend to have off-the-wall special effects and bat-shit stories.  Recently, I came across the film Nuclear Neighbourhood.  The film honestly looked like a fan film set in the Troma universe.  After looking a little harder I discovered it was not a Troma fan film at all but a film all it's own.  I reached out to director Matthew Oliver and he was kind enough to send me a review copy of the film.
     The film opens with a couple walking down the street when a mysterious white van pulls up beside them and nabs the young girl. The boy and his two friends set out to find his woman and kidnapper.  They venture down the street where they find the white van parked at a peculiar house and find his girlfriend's belongings inside.  They sneak inside and the house is a literal house of horrors.  Inside, they find a crazed woman wielding a knife, skeletons and decomposing bodies, a living science experiment, and a mad scientist that has been kidnapping the locals to run experiments on. Eventually they find the girl alive along with the mad scientist and they learn that he has been stealing plutonium for his experiences and has built a nuclear reactor in his basement.  They rescue the girl and the four are confronted by the scientist.  He then sees he is bested and shuts the cooling system down to overheat and explode.  The four then have to rush from the home before the nuclear meltdown.
     When it comes to horror comedies you never know what you are going to get.  Horror comedies have been around for a long time with many taking root in the classic Universal monster age.  Films like Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein was what made them mainstream and we have had countless other horror comedies show up in it's wake.  Since then the horror comedies have taken the cheap route with vulgar jokes and messy kill scenes.  Most of the have ridiculous story lines and that is the way I like em.  Films like The Taint, Dead Alive, Bad Taste, and the entire Troma catalog are the perfect examples of this.  Nuclear Neighbourhood attempts to join the ranks of those films but just can't capture the charm and humor that the greats are able to convey.  The acting in this one is very amateurish but that adds to the little bit of charm this film does have.  They showed heart and with some more practice and experience they may be able to make a name for themselves in the horror community.  The story itself is one told over and over again and this time it just happened to take place in a community that has roots in Tromaville.   The mad scientist angle is old and almost used out but in this film it was just the back story and that was very unique.  The four friends placed in the middle of a nuclear reactor was rather new but I felt the film would have played out a lot better if they were younger.  Having them all younger, possibly younger than 14, would have been something special like a more modern Ernest Scared Stupid and The Monster Squad.  We also get a micro-budget tribute to the Toxic Avenger.  We have a character that is green and oddly looks like a cheap Toxie.  Finally, the special effects for this film is lacking.  We have a few campy looking corpses, fake blood here and there, and horrible practical effects on the Toxie like character.  However, the film makes up for it with superb lighting and a look that puts me in mind of the S.O. V. era of horror.  Some of the lighting we get reminds me of the films of Dario Argento.  Overall, Nuclear Neighbourhood is a cheap film that has some surprising moments.  The film is far from perfect but has a charm all it's own.  Check it out if you are a fan of silly comedies and S.O.V. quality horror.  I recommend this one!

MrParka Reviews: She (Short)

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

(out of 5)

Halloween 4:  The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

directed by:  Dwight H. Little

starring:  Donald Pleasence, Ellie Cornell, Danielle Harris, George Wilbur, Beau Starr, Michael Pataki, Sasha Jenson, Kathleen Kinmont

Format:  Personal Collection  NTSC:  Region 1

     What is it that keeps me coming back to this film year after year?  Some years I watch it more than once being that it always seems to be the early movie with 5 in September some time.  I mean 4 and 5 just pretty much say, "fuck you!" to the originals and go their own way with the story.  Not to mention the fact that both Michael and Dr. Loomis were burned up in part 2 in such a manner that Loomis most assuredly would be dead or a hideous freak to say the very least.  But Moustapha Akkad had to have his way and continue his slasher series after the bombing of Part III:  Season of the Witch, which is far better than any sequel past it.  See my review of that film for reasoning there. 

     Part 4 continues after Michael has spent another ten years in an insane asylum.  That was until one of his doctors mentions he has a niece that of course lives in Haddonfield.  So Michael escapes during a transfer and another Halloween slaughter ensues.  Michael finds his way back to his hometown in search of young Jamie Lloyd who is played by the now gorgeous Danielle Harris who I still see as the little girl from these movies everytime I see her face no matter how sexy the picture is haha. 

     The thing with this movie for me is I watched it so much when it first came out because it was right around the time I really started being allowed to watch rated-R flicks and of course at that first Halloween I just started watching them all.  Before I had only seen the first one because in my house scary movies were a norm just not the way my norm is now.  So it's a sentimental kind of thing.  One is and always will be the best for me and two is the scariest in my opinion but as far as the Haloween Myers movies go 4 and 5 have a definite special place. 

     They are bad.  The acting is so-so with everyone but Danielle and of course Donald Pleasance but the writing, directing, editing, etc. is bad.  In this one you even have a blonde Michael Myers which has been put off as they were trying a new mask but I have never read that anywhere in the past before the facebook experts started jawing but who knows either way it's a terrible idea and even worse...why would you even make or buy one like that knowing what you're doing.  I love change I don't need everything to stay the same but come on a blonde Michael Myers?  It's only in there for one small scene but unforgettable to say the least.  Michael is pretty unstoppable in this one and takes out an entire police station full of cops which is a scene I most sorely miss not having in the movie.  You just get to see glimses of the after effect.

     So love it or hate it I don't care this one and it's predecessor will always be awesomely bad to me.



Ghost of Goodnight Lane

Director - Alin Bijan (Seduction of Innocence)
Starring - Lacey Chabert (Black X-Mas), Billy Zane (Tombstone), Matt Dallas (Kyle XY)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "If she's still here, then it won't be quiet, not for you, not for anyone." and "The roots of evil run deep."
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

      Ghosts have been the topic for horror films since the silent age.  There is just something unnerving and scary about the thought of spirits floating around us. Through the decades we have seen countless ghost flicks pop up here and there with a few of them being classic films that we watch annually.  However, the supernatural sub-genre was forever changed in 2002 with the American remake of The Ring.  Since then ghosts with stringy black hair over their faces has been all the rage.  Almost every haunting and supernatural flick has a little girl that looks like this and this is a trend that will not be stopped anytime soon.  Recently, I was sent a review copy of the supernatural flick Ghost of Goodnight Lane.  I did a Google search and found out that Billy Zane was in it.  Judge me all you want but I really enjoy watching Zane in character so I was excited to watch this film when I had the chance.
     The film follows a film production crew who are working on a Muscle Milk commercial.  However, one of the crew members is murdered one night.  The director, Alan (Zane), pep talks the crew and they decide to push on.  They call in more dancers to re-shoot a scene and they receive a surprise visit from an elderly woman who reveals to them that a young girl was murdered in that house and she was the daughter of Charles Manson.  The crew pushes on but they soon learn that they are not alone as crew members wind up missing or far worse...dead.  They quickly try to make a Scooby-Doo plan and call the old woman but is it too late?
      When I started watching this I assumed it would be what I like to call "Wal-Mart horror." Wal-Mart horror is what I like to call generic horror films with amazing, but generic, artwork and stars a rather impressive actor or actress that has fell from grace.  These films are usually sold at Wal-Mart, Target, and Best Buy.  My assumption was only half right.  The film was a generic horror film but by god was it a fun one.  This horror comedy didn't offer anything knew, in fact, it was something I have seen several times.  However, what set this film apart from the others was the characters and comedy.  The acting in this one was great.  I wish that most of the films I reviewed had acting this great.  The entire cast was spot on and they really made this film as fun as it was.  Billy Zane was undeniably the star of the film and he stole every scene he was in.  I would love to see him do more horror flicks in the future.  The story for this one is one told hundreds, if not thousands of times before.  An undead girl stalking the living in a creepy, atmospheric setting is one told so many times since the American remake of The Ring.  Sure, it does get boring after seeing the cliche so many times but this film makes it fun again.  This film was clearly written to poke fun at the stereotypes instead of building upon them.  Finally, the film does have some special effects that is hit or miss.  The film is able to convey a sense of dread in certain scenes that really dials up the creepy-meter but the few kills we do get are boring and lackluster that almost ruins the ghosts presence.  A little more work applied to the kill scenes would have gave this film the extra push it needed.  Overall, Ghost of Goodnight Lane is a fun supernatural flick that has laughs, beautiful women, and Billy Zane in a stupid hat.  What more do you need?

Fear the Forest

Director - Matthew Bora (Twin Brides)
Starring - Kevin F. Barrett (Forest of Eden), Matthew Bora, and Alev Dinc
Release Date - 2009
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "The legend lives..."
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

    

When it comes to horror films the monster is usually the star or, at least, the focal point. The monster is what makes or breaks the film.  Films like The Giant Claw and any SyFy original fail to give the viewer a beast that is worth looking at.  That brings me to films regarding bigfoot, or Sasquatch for you smart asses out there.  Most of the monster movies using this cryptozoological beast as the main focus tend to suck.  Sure, we have The Legend of Boggy Creek and a few others but the hundreds more that we have suck ass in a very bad way.  They tend to give us horrible stories with just a few moments to look at the beast and when we finally see the thing it looks extremely shitty like all the fake ass videos we have seen online.  Sometime ago MVD sent me the film Fear the Forest to review and the second I discovered it was a film about bigfoot I put it on the shelf until I was in the mood for it.  Sadly, I was not in the mood for a bad bigfoot flick but I felt bad for not reviewing it and gave it a go.
     The story for this one is hard as fuck to follow.  The best I can figure is that a group of college students, a hunting party, Native Americans, another hunting party, and anyone else that fucking feels like it, ventures out into the woods where there is a beast that lurks behind every tree.  However, hunters shoot the beast and the film goes on for the only reason... to waste your time.




      This movie raised one question and it is one that I just can't stop asking myself.  Why can't anyone make a good bigfoot flick?  I mean, the story is already there for you but directors and film crews just throw it out the window and try to make something different and fresh only to fail miserably. The same can be said about Fear the Forest.  In fact, this film just failed on every angle.  The acting in this one is horrible.  No fucks were given when casting for this film and once cast no fucks were given on how they acted in front of the camera.  No one cared about their roles and it showed in every scene.  The story for this one is horribly written and executed.  It feels like the film has several stories going at once and they just come together to make a shit soup on film.  I have no idea what is going on and I feel like everyone that watches feels the same.  Finally, the special effects and on screen kills are shit.  The beast itself looks good but it is not suited for a serious horror film.  I could see it fitting in with something with Sid and Marty Krofft attached to it.  It was child like, which is something I did enjoy, but in a serious film with blood and guts it just did not fit the role.  It looked big and stupid.  The few on screen kills we get are cheap and ineffective.  Overall, Fear the Forest is a poor excuse for a monster movie and an abomination as a film.