Spyfall

Director - Brett Kelly (My Fair Lady, Homicycle)
Starring - Mark Courneyea (Werewolf Fever), Sacha Gabriel (My Fair Zombie), Lawrence Evenchick (Raiders of the Lost Shark)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Action/Adventure/Comedy
Tagline - "When it comes to action...He's your last resort"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     So, I have to come clean about something.  I tend to enjoy all genres of film but horror will always be my home.  With that being said, I can not get into the whole spy film thing.  Never could and I doubt I ever will.  I consistently find myself bored as fuck regardless of how much action is going on.  The story either bores me or completely over does it resulting in me screaming at the screen.  I was recently sent the obvious Skyfall parody simply titled Spyfall directed by Brett Kelly who directed the films My Fair Zombie and Homicycle.  I enjoyed both films so I decided I would give it a go even though it was out of my typical genre to perform reviews on.  Thank you Alternative Cinema for sending me the film to review.  

     The film follows Mike Hawk (Courneyea) who is called into duty to pick up where a former agent left off once he exploded.  His new task is to intercept something that could kill a great deal of people from an underground kingpin who also runs a legit apple cider business.  He takes on this task and rushes out to save the day.  He has to team up with Agent Pi (Gabriel) in order to take him down and prevent him from taking over the world.

     When I say I don't like spy movies I really mean I don't like the ones that take themselves seriously.  These all follow the same cliches and result in the same film just with different action sequences and spy gadgets.  That is why I am a fan of Johnny English (Yea, I like that movie so eat a dick).  That film does what it sets out to do and that is make fun of spy flicks like James Bond while making fun of themselves. This is key at making a parody film work.  Spyfall follows the same examples set forth by Johnny English, for the most part, and delivers on the camp.  The acting in this one is campy and easily associated to what you would see in the most famous parody series of all time, Scary Movie.  Our main character, Mike Hawk played by Mark Courneyea, is good at playing stupid.  Sadly, characters like this get on my nerves quick.  He does redeem himself with literal jokes but those can only carry him so far.  The remainder of the cast does well especially at keeping the gag where they take thing literal going.  This created several laughs throughout the film.  I do want to take a moment and comment on how fucking hot Sacha Gabriel is.  The viewer doesn't notice it in My Fair Zombie due to the special effects make up but in this film she is smoking!  The story for this one is more of the same thing we have seen before especially with the Bond films and even Johnny English.  The only thing that pulls this one up is the dry humor we get.  Though the film is not something I would call hilarious, it is something I would call funny.  It has some light laughs but is full of dry humor that only young kids and old people would find funny.  Finally, those of you out there expecting me to go over the kills scenes and gore will be disappointed.  As you have already been told, this one is a comedy spoof of  the spy action genre.  No gore for those of you wanting it here.  Overall, Spyfall is a film that has some laughs but could have had a lot more.  The acting is cliched along with the story but if you are looking for a simple story and a few chuckles then this one is right for you.  Check it out.

Homicycle

Director - Brett Kelly (My Fair Zombie, Spyfall)
Starring - Candice Lidstone (Raiders of the Lost Shark), Peter Whittaker (The Last Outlaw), and Ian Quick (Jurassic Shark)
Release Date - 2014
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "He's hell on wheels"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I love a good parody.  I honestly do.  Sadly, a good parody is far and few in between.  Sure, we have a few Scary Movies that are worth a damn but the modern parody is shit with only pop culture getting the parody treatment.  This starts to become tiresome as time goes on with everything that horror fan's does not like getting crammed in to big budget horror flick parodies.  This results in a piss poor film that horror fans does not want see.  Lucky for us we have indie director Brett Kelly who is the man responsible for the zombie parody of My Fair Lady.  This time around I was sent the horror flick Homicycle.  The film looked like a bad ass 80s action flick but when I popped it in I realized that it was a parody of sorts in the horror genre.

     The film follows a mysterious man on a motorcycle who never takes his helmet off.  He first kills a man who is beating a whore with a hammer.  The Homicycle has his sights set on the man's boss, a drug kingpin who is known for plunging the city into darkness and killing cops.  He starts killing the kingpin's henchmen and women one by one making his way through the city using anything and everything he can get his hands on.  As he gets closer to the kingpin, the kingpin receives a visitor.  She is the widow of a late police officer who was killed by him for doing his job.  She warns him that he is on his way but the kingpin scoffs at her words but she is right.  Homicycle is the deceased officer and no weapon on Earth can stop him from serving justice.  

     When I first received Homicycle I knew nothing about the film other than it looked fucking bad ass.  When I first tossed it in I discovered that it was a parody of sorts to a classic slasher that does not get the love that it deserves.  The acting in this one is cheesy as hell and I loved it.  It blends the cliched villains of 80s and 90s action flicks with the campy characters you would find in a Troma flick.  I love this kind of acting.  It makes the film fun and creates characters that you can't help but enjoy.  It takes a great deal of talent and a sense of humor to pull this off intentionally and I applaud the cast for doing just that.  The story for this one is an open parody of the 1985 slasher flick Nail Gun Massacre.  The only difference is that this film feels like an 80s vigilante flick that found it's spot among cult status.  With that being said, the story is stretched very thin and would have worked better as a short story instead of a full length feature.  Finally, the film has some on screen kills but they are cheap.  They are kills one would expect to come from Herschell Gordon Lewis flick made in the late 60s but not one filmed just last year.  They use cheap effects that are just as cliched as the film.  This does not add humor to the film like the acting or story does.  Instead, it robs the fan of the gore they want to see.  This was the film's biggest let down.  Overall. Homicycle is a throwback to films from decades ago.  The film fully embraces the cliches of the time and makes fun with it creating a very enjoyable film.  I recommend this one just remember it is far from perfect.

Scavenger Killers

Director - Dylan Bank (Bleeding Hearts)
Starring - Robert Bogue (The Following), Rachael Robbins (The Jersey Devil), and Dustin Diamond (Saved by the Bell)
Release Date - 2013
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline(s) - "Mind-blowing psychopaths" and "Justice is served"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Sometime ago I brought you beautiful people a review for the rather enjoyable horror flick Bleeding Hearts.  The film was a great time and I really enjoyed myself but I was disgusted with an actress and her actions involving a rape victim in real life but I did not let her monstrous deeds ruin the film for me because there is more to a movie than just her.  There is the entire cast and crew and I refused to let her actions ruin their hard work.  Director Dylan Bank released another horror film before Bleeding Hearts titled Scavenger Killers.  The film featured most of the cast so I was excited to check it out so I tossed it on the stack and as soon as I could check it out I would.  I want to thank Midnight Releasing for hooking me up with a review copy.  

     The film follows Judge Taylor Limone (Bogue) and criminal defense attorney Clara Lovering (Robbins) who are secretly a couple.  The judge breaks the law to make sure she wins cases and she makes sure he is sexually satisfied. However, the two have a deep, dark secret.  They both are serial killers who have a sort of game out of who they will kill next.  They have different people in the bag that they draw their victims from.  They have lawyers, golfers, motorists, and other serial killers.  The FBI is trying to capture those responsible for all these murders.  The director of the FBI has a psychic who is able to see things if he sexually touches an overweight woman.  He relays his visions to the director and he sends in his top agent, a mute paraplegic who has a female interpreter.  He goes in and discovers several clues and notices that Clara and Taylor are an item but are unable to connect them to the murders until Taylor shoots him and his interpreter.  With the FBI now on their tail, they try to flee the country but will they make it without the wheelchair bound agent nabs them?        

     I thought Scavenger Kills would be a more straight forward horror flick with some light moments similar to Bleeding Heart but that was not the case.  The film looks and flows like a horror flick but tosses in some of the most random moments of humor that the viewer does not see coming and catches them off guard.  If the film was a known horror comedy then it would have worked well if they kept it up.  However, where it is random and strung out among a straight forward horror flick, it fails to offer the impact of the humor.  The acting in this one is great especially by our leads Bogue and Robbins.  The two feed off each other in a way that I can't describe.  With every scene they are in together they continuously grow in intensity that results in sheer entertainment.  The rest of the cast is great as well.  It always a pleasure to see Eric Roberts in a film.  Sadly, he was not in it for long.  Also, Dustin Diamond does great as well as a psychic with turret syndrome.   I love his character if it wasn't for the fact it was for comic relief in a serious horror flick.  The story for this one is fun but can't figure out what kind of film it wants to be.  The film has the perfect atmosphere established to be the perfect horror film but fucks it up with random moments of humor.  The character in the wheelchair needed to be completely removed and Dustin Diamond's character needed to be more serious.  Sexually assaulting overweight women for visions is not that funny to begin with.  It is just awkward and unexpected.  With that being said, the remainder of the story is fun as hell.  There is just something appealing about a couple that kills together.  Finally, the film is full of great kills scenes with great practical effects.  This film is surprisingly bloody.  Sadly, the film does try to touch up the kills with computer generated blood and that only ruins the effects and makes it look cheap.  Overall, Scavenger Killers could have been the film of the year but has a hard time trying to figure out what it wants to be.  The end result is fun and deserves a watch but it could have been so much more.  Check it out!

The Untold Story

aka The Eight Immortals Restaurant: The Untold Story

Director(s) - Danny Lee (Legend of the Dragon) and Herman Yau (Kung Fu Angels)

Starring - Anthony Chau-Sang Wong (The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor), Danny Lee, and Emily Kwan (Human Pork Chop)

Release Date - 1993

Genre - Horror/Drama

Tagline - "Based, unfortunately, on real event..."

Format - DVD (Personal Collection) 

Rating (out of 5):

     About two years ago, when I was first brought on to Horror Society, you may recall the kick I went on where I was watching a lot of schlocky Japanese horror flicks full of amazing practical effects and tons of blood and gore.  This made me open up more about Asian horror flicks and I checked out the Korean horror flick The Host.  I really enjoyed that one as well.  So I expanded a little more and checked out a Chinese horror flick and did not like it at all.  This stopped me from checking out Asian horror for some time until recently when I was speaking with a friend from over at Bloody Banter and Bazaar.  The two of us worked out a trade for several horror films and among them is the Chinese horror drama The Untold Story.  The film was shot in 1993 and was about an actual crime that took place in 1985.  This blew my mind and then my friend, Ryan from BBB, informed me that the DVD he traded me for a shitty VHS tape was going on ebay.com for $80.  When I received the film in the mail I posted a picture in that group on Facebook and not long after started receiving trade offers on it.  This drove me to throwing this one in the ol Xbox to check out.  Ryan, you are a damn fool for trading this off for a Goosebumps VHS!

     The film begins with two men fighting over mahjong and one of the men dies at the hands of the other.  We then jump forward and that same man is now running a very popular restaurant.   The police have been getting letters from a man in Hong Kong asking them to find his brother who went missing some time ago.  That man was once the owner of The Eight Immortals Restaurant but is now missing.   The police start doing some investigating and learn that the place was never sold and that the missing man still owns it.  They question the owner and he claims it was purchased legally.  When the police leave he tries to skip town but they catch him and arrest him.  They beat the shit out of him trying to get the answers they want to hear but the man is one tough cookie.  He does not break so they toss him in prison with the real owner's other brother.  They beat the shit out of him some more and slowly wear him down until he finally confesses to murdering him and his entire family including 4 children and feeding all his victims to his customers.  The police think they have him but before they can convict him he kills himself in his cell.  

     I would be lying if I said I was not concerned with this film sucking.  I had only seen one real Chinese horror flick before I was sent this film and I did not like it at all with the exception of Ebola Zombies.  I did enjoy Ebola Zombies but the first Chinese horror film, whose title eludes me, has made me weary of all Chinese horror flicks.  With all that being said, once I tossed this one in I was hooked and I have to say that this is one of my favorite horror films to come out of Asia.  The acting in this one is top notch by the entire cast.  We have director Danny Lee who also gets in front of the camera and does a great job along with the other officers in the film.  The film's main focus belongs to Anthony Chau-Sang Wong who is fucking intense in his role.  The first portion of the film makes you believe he is a monster who kills ruthlessly.  The middle portion of the film makes you feel sorry for him and the police brutality.  Then the final act once again proves he is a monster and deserves everything he gets.  This takes a lot of talent to sway the viewer's opinion like that.  The story for this one is fucked up in many aspects.  The first being that it actually happened and is the basis for so many horror films over the years since.  Hell, before this even happened in 1985 it was already the base story line for the 1966 horror comedy The Undertaker and his Pals.  What makes this particular story unnerving is that is follows a situation that actually happened and that real people was fed human meat.  If I didn't like steak so much I would almost become a vegetarian because of this.  The story flows very well and never lets up.  This is one of the few flicks that I was unable to peel my eyes from the screen regardless of what was going on.  Finally, the film does have a few kills scenes but not as many as we would like.  The practical effects are fucking amazing and what is done to the bodies once they are dead is where the film makes up for the kills.  Overall, The Untold Story is fucking crazy.  Just knowing this really happened is enough to make the viewer sit on edge but the film follows it up with a truly disturbing film.  This is a film all horror fans will need to see and stop watching all these bullshit "based on true events" flicks that did not happen.  Check it out!

American Backwoods: Slew Hampshire

aka Slew Hampshire

Director - Flood Reed (Mutual Admiration Society)

Starring - Dayo Okeniyi (The Hunger Games), Shawn Thomas (The Remedy), and Tyler Rice (The Poor Boys)

Release Date - 2013

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Death is not the worst of evils"

Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     American Backwords: Slew Hampshire is a film I have been seeing a lot of people talking about the last few weeks.  The film was getting a lot of praise but I had never heard of it until this point.  I started looking around and found the film's Facebook page and learned that it went under the title Slew Hampshire until it was picked up for distribution by Midnight Releasing.  The film is one of many that claim to be based on a true story but features a rather ridiculous story that makes this claim feel silly.  I reached out to my friends over at Midnight Releasing and they were kind enough to send me a review copy.  Thanks Midnight Releasing for hooking me up.

     The film follows four men in 1994 who are driving out in the New Hampshire countryside to celebrate the birthday of one of their friends.  They find themselves pulled over by an officer who then secretly cuts their gas line.  The officer offers them a ride and dispatches a tow truck.  They climb in with the cop and tow truck driver and we discover that neither men are what they say they are.  Instead, they are part of a group who kidnap and hunt young men and if they feel like getting a little ass off them before killing them then so be it.  What they don't know is that they are not alone in the woods.  A group of men, primal in ways, are killing anyone that steps into their woods. To make matters worse, there is a creature, human in nature, is killing everyone regardless of who they are.  They all have to fight to survive the night.  

     I had no idea what Slew Hampshire was about going into it but nothing could prepare me for the fucked up ride I was about to witness.  This film really is unlike anything out there right now and quickly sets itself apart from other indie horror flicks.  The acting in this one is fucking top notch by the entire cast.  Surprisingly, my favorite performance was not by one of the main cast members but by supporting actor Mike apple who played the character Hoogeloon.  This characters was a straight parody of Epic Meal Time's Harley Morenstein and I loved it.  The remainder of the cast does a great job creating some real and intense moments but none are as fun as this character which really breaks up the atmosphere of the film.  The story for this one is fucking layered and full of action.  We have four different sets of characters are fighting each other which never leaves room for a dull moment.  It does, however, leave plenty of room for confusion because everyone is sporting a beard and looks alike at night.  A little more thought should have went into wardrobe which would have helped out a lot during the fight scenes.  Finally, the film has several gory kill scenes with some solid practical effects.  The kills are pretty brutal and they use the great practical effects to really milk as much blood as possible for the viewer.  This film was made for the gorehounds out there.  Overall, Slew Hampshire is a balls out horror film that shows little regard to human life.  The film is full of action and gore but does have a few moments that can confuse the viewer.  Check it out but pay close attention to the characters.  This is one you will want to put in your collection.