Savannah Smiles

Director - Pierre De Moro (Christmas Mountain, Hellhole)
Starring - Mark Miller (Dixie Dynamite, Kung Fu), Donovon Scott (Police Academy, Back to the Future: Part III), and Bridgette Andersen (Faerie Tale Theatre, Nightmares)
Release Date - 1982
Genre - Comedy
Tagline - "...and love will never be the same"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I can't wait for the "this is not horror" comments to roll in for this one.  The knuckle dragging Neanderthals that make the horror community so toxic will come out in waves to comment stupid shit about how this is not a horror movie and they will be unfollowing Horror Society.  Honestly, good riddance.  I see it a lot on my sci-fi or exploitation reviews.  Sometime ago my friends over at MVD sent me the family friendly 1982 comedy Savannah Smiles.  The film was released on blu as part of their MVD Rewind Collection.  I never got around to checking it out before the fire and recently uncovered the totes in storage that had a lot of the films that was sent my way for review.  The films were quickly tossed into totes after the fire in a mad dash to salvage what I could from the elements and I did not take the time to mark a lot of them.  Thanks MVD for sending this one my way.

     The film follows two life long criminals who are on the run from the police when the daughter of a politician runs away from home and hides in their stolen car.  They take her with them when police swarm the area looking for her and soon learn of a $100,000 reward offered for her safe return.  The police is treating it like a kidnapping which complicates things.  They lay low for a few days and in that time the two criminals start to care for the little girl as if she was their own.  They then care more about her well being more than the money and try to get her home without serving jail time.

     I tossed this one in not expecting much and was hit with a movie that fucking ripped my heart out and left me sitting in a pool of my own emotions.  I absolutely loved the film and almost gave the movie a 5 out of 5 score.  My only hang up with the entire film is how it ended.  The acting in this one is fantastic. The entire cast is phenomenal.  Every character in the film has their own personality and not a single one is forgettable.  You remember every character that has screen time and their performances are top notch.  Mark Miller and Donovon Scott are fantastic together.  Their characters contrast beautifully making for some memorable on screen moments.  They are brilliant together.  The late Bridgette Andersen is amazing in the title role.  She is adorable and sweet which really pulls on the viewer's emotions.  I couldn't imagine the film being as entertaining if someone else was in this role.  The way I see it Bridgette was born for this role.  The story for this one is so simple but works so well on film.  Two dumb criminals finding and caring for a runaway 6 year old doesn't seem like much but when you toss in the scenes of them bonding and Savannah having fun then you get something that will leave the viewer emotionally invested in.  With that being said, the ending did not leave closure for the viewer.  We get no resolution on what happens to the criminals after their arrest and if Savannah's father starts paying attention to his little girl.  So many questions left unanswered.  Finally, no blood or gore in this one.  We do get some light hearted comedy that sometimes finds its mark but mostly falls short.  Overall, Savannah Smiles is a movie that I will be revisiting whenever I need a pick me up.  The movie packs a hard emotional punch and I absolutely loved it.  You need to see this one now if you haven't.  Check it out now on blu from MVD!

Zoom Up: Seiko's Thigh

Director - Koyu Ohara (Female Leopard, Youth Part II)
Starring - Mayumi Terashima (Love Hard, Love Deep), Mari Kishida (Bakku ga daisuki!), and Jun Ueno (Heat, Top Stripper)
Release Date - 1982
Genre - Romance/Drama
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     My sleazy marathon is coming to an end.  I started this raunchy adventure on Sunday when I tossed in Dustin Mills' Slaughterhouse Slumber Party.  I followed that up with several Impulse Pictures releases.  The first was the very uneventful Helena before diving into a few Japanese torture porn flicks.  Lolita: Vibrator Torture and Woman in a Box: Virgin Sacrifice were both surprisingly fun.  The last film in this sleazfest was the 1982 romantic drama Zoom Up: Seiko's Thigh.  Once again I want to thank Impulse Pictures for sending these films my way.  Normally, I would have skipped all these if I was left to find them on my own so thank you for broadening my taste in films.
     The film follows a lonely photographer who is in love with the woman that lives in the apartment across the street from his own.  He has promised himself to her and vows to never sleep with any woman until he can be with her.  However, he soon changes his mind when he catches her in a car with her professor.  Later that evening he finds himself in the woods with a young woman where he loses his virginity.  This opens up a new world for him and finds himself in several different sexual encounters before his love stumbles in on him with a stranger.  Her confesses his love for her only to be shunned by her.  Later she finds herself in a very sticky situation with her professor and the photographer intervenes to save her only to find himself on the business end of an asswhoopin by a group of guys.  She finally sees him for the man he is and confesses her love for him.
     I was expecting another roughie when I tossed this one in and was greeted with a movie I could almost see people living here in the states during the Hughes era of the 80s...minus the dry humping and nudity of course.  It was actually very light hearted in a sense and fun to see just where we were going next.  The acting in this one is very well done.  There is a few scenes where we get some awkward reactions or unconventional reactions but the film is pretty consistent with solid performances.  The story for this one was not what I was expecting.  I was expecting another weird torture porn horror flick with horrible sex scenes.  Instead, its a weird romantic drama following a pervert that photographs women pissing or up skirt who falls in love with someone who doesn't want him at first but eventually comes around.  It's a weird story but it works.  Finally, this one is void of blood and no death scenes.  It focuses on the story and how the characters react to the scenes.  Overall, Zoom Up is one of the few Impulse Pictures releases that I will be revisiting.  I really enjoyed the story and can see myself watching this one a few more times.  Check it out now on DVD from Impulse Pictures.

Woman in a Box: Virgin Sacrifice

Director - Masaru Konuma (Flower and Snake, Wife to be Sacrificed)
Starring - Saeko Kizuki (Entrails of a Virgin, Love Bites Back), Kojiro Kusanagi (The Vanished, The Deep Red), and Takashi Obara
Release Date - 1985
Genre - Horror
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

      I like checking out movies I've never seen before especially horror movies from around the world.  You never know what treasures you will find.  A lot of the movie distribution companies like to focus on re-releasing movies that are guaranteed to make them profit while some focus on never before released films or films that got lost in the end of VHS.  Companies like Vinegar Syndrome, Synapse Films, Severin Films, and a few others focus on bringing genre fans movies they may have never seen before and in some cases never heard of before.  Synapse Films sister label Impulse Pictures is known for releasing sexploitation and other films from the sleazy side of cinema.  I recently reviewed the Japanese torture porn Lolita: Vibrator Torture and was surprised when I discovered that I actually liked it.  I had received two more Impulse Pictures releases sometime after I got that one in for review.  The first of those two is the 1985 Japanese torture porn Woman in a Box: Virgin Sacrifice.  

     The film follows a young couple who is looking for the next step in their sex life.  The woman will do anything to please her man but he has become bored with their sex life.  They currently drive around town in their van with one way mirrors and fuck while people walk around their car unaware that the couple is in there fucking.  He wants to try something else and convinces his lover to kidnap a virgin to torture and molest.  She agrees and they find a young woman walking in the rain.  They offer her sancturary from the storm in their van and she accepts.  Once inside she learns they plan on hurting her and tries to flee.  She is unable to leave the van and soon finds herself in their sex dungeon in a box where she is subject to the man's every fantasy.  

     I went into Lolita: Vibrator Torture with low expectations and was actually shocked when I found a surprisingly decent film before me.  I was curious how Woman in a Box would play out.  Would it be just as fun as the previous film or would it be the stereotypical torture porn flick that I typically avoid?  The answer is a surprising both!  The acting in this one is not the best I've scene but works for the film.  If you grew up in the 90s and watched anything on skinamax then you know the caliber of acting this film has.  You don't have to be the best actor or that experienced to dry hump your co-star.  The story for this one blends torture porn with character narrative.  It's weird to say that but you see so much character development in this one when they are not raping and dry humping each other.  I also really liked the ending.  I was not expecting the movie to end on that kind of note but it did.  I don't see myself revisiting this one but it was definitely a fun watch for a first time viewing.  Finally, this one does not have any deaths or murder scenes.  We get a little blood but the main focus of this one is the depravity and story.  Overall, Woman in a Box: Virgin Sacrifice is not as relentless or vile as I was expecting.  Rape does make me uncomfortable but this film doesn't make that the focus of the story.  It's just something twisted that happens in the scenes.  Check it out on DVD now from Impulse Pictures.  

Lolita: Vibrator Torture

Director - Hisayasu Sato (Hana-Dama: The Origin, Cute Devil)
Starring - Sayaka Kimura, Rio Yanagawa (Survey Map of a Paradise Lost), and Yutaka Ikejima (Twilight Dinner, The Yen Family)
Release Date - 1987
Genre - Horror
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I like to think that I'm open minded when it comes to horror.  I try to give every sub-genre my undivided attention but some of these sub-genres are just not my cup of tea.  One sub-genre that I almost steer clear of is the "torture porn" sub-genre.  I love horror and I fucking love sleaze but torture porn is just too fucking boring for my tastes.  Most of these films run over 60 minutes and consist of someone tied to a chair, table, or rafters and are then tortured.  Some are sexual tortures whiles other are more pain oriented.  Regardless, this is boring as fuck to me.  Several years ago I was an active member on the Upcoming Horror Films message board.  One of the members was a fan of torture porn and extreme horror and I remember at one point an image from the 1987 film Lolita: Vibrator Torture was in his signature.  I was never really interested in checking it out but a few months back Impulse Pictures announced that they were releasing the film on DVD.  They sent me a copy of the film to check out.  I was on the fence about checking it out and I decided that my Sleazy Sunday viewing would be a perfect chance to check it out.  

       The film follows a young schoolgirl who is secretly searching for her missing father before her schoolmates discover she is living alone.  She meets a photographer with a hidden secret.  At night he moonlights as a serial killer who tortures young women with a vibrator before killing them with poison and disposing of the bodies with acid.  He has his sights on the young girl and knowing her father is no longer in the picture he kidnaps her.  However, she is different than the others and he finds himself getting a little too close to her.

     Movies like this usually can't hold my attention.  Their simplistic story, though sadistic, is still extremely boring and has no place in a film that runs well over an hour.  However, Lolita: Vibrator Torture does give us a little bit more to the story.  I wouldn't call this one a bad film.  I had some fun with it but I don't see myself revisiting it anytime soon.  The acting in this one is decent to say the least.  The characters have no personality and are easily lost in a crowd but they work for the story we are given.  They dedicate themselves to the roles and some of the more cringe worthy scenes are made even more uncomfortable by their performances.  The story for this one is torture porn at it's truest definition.  We follow a serial killer who tortures young women with a vibrator before killing them.  Simple enough.  However, the story does add a little something to the story that makes it stand out.  The twist is almost predictable but it works for first time viewers.  The pacing is a little on the slow side so several scenes will try the viewer's patience but the overall film is enjoyable.  Finally, if you want blood you will find a little here with a large dose of nudity.  The film may play on sexuality but it is anything but sexy.  We get a little blood but no real practical effects.  Overall, Lolita: Vibrator Torture is a surprisingly solid watch but does not have any replay value.  The movie is not as shocking as the title suggests and the story does have some memorable moments.  Check it out on DVD from Impulse Pictures.

Helena

Director - Alain Nauroy (Sex Rally, Africa Love)
Starring - Valerie Boisgel (Cat Dance of Sex, The Blood Rose), Yan Brian (Joan of Arc, 22 Bullets), and Martine Grimaud (Cheating Couples, Everything Goes)
Release Date - 1975
Genre - Drama
Tagline - "A film about a woman's ultimate passion"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     My love for horror is only rivaled for my love for blaxploitation.  I sometimes find it difficult to pick one movie over the other.  With that being said, sometimes I just have to toss in something sleazy.  The last few weeks I've been tossing in sleazy movies to review that way I can split up all the horror flicks I need to check out and don't become burned out.  This last Sunday I did not have as many chores as I normally do so I had more time for movies.  After checking out Dustin Mill's Slaughterhouse Slumber Party I decided to toss in Impulse Pictures Helena.  This was sent to me sometime back but was overlooked after the house fire.  I found it while going through totes and figured now was the best time to check it out.  Thank you Impulse for sending this one my way.  

     The film follows Helena (Boisgel) who is traveling the coast to meet up with her lover.  When she arrives at the home she is told that he is upstairs with another woman.  She believes the man and after some time they start flirting and hook up.  After some small talk she demands to see her lover and searching the home looking for him only to discover he is not really there.  Instead of leaving she continues to have sex with the homeowner and goes for walks around town.  Things then take a darker turn when the home is invaded by a group of goons wanting to have their way with her as well.

     I never expect amazing performances in a sexploitation flick but I always look forward to their sleazy stories and how outlandish they are.  Not all of these films offer fun stories but most do.  Sadly, Helena was one of those films that offer up very little entertainment value while giving the viewer some of the most boring sex scenes ever filmed.  The acting in this one is not bad.  The cast really did their best with what they had to work with but the characters are painfully bland.  I've seen my fair share of porn and sexploitation flicks and I have to say these are some of the most uninteresting characters to ever be filmed in a fuck flick.  The story for this one works for maybe 20 minutes but having it stretch the length of a feature film was way too much.  The story is lacking and the sex scenes are painfully boring.  If my wife and I only did missionary we would have more interesting sex than this film.  Finally, if you want blood you wont find it here.  This sexploitation flick is more focused on character chemistry rather than story and sex.  Overall, Helena is an extremely difficult watch.  I found myself struggling to finish it and I cannot recommend it to others.  

Slaughterhouse Slumber Party

Director - Dustin Mills (Invalid, Her Name Was Torment)
Starring - Erin R. Ryan (Awkward Thanksgiving, Applecart), Haley Madison (Space Babes from Outer Space, The Slit-Mouthed Woman), and Kayla Elizabeth (Night of the Living Dead, Another Average Halloween)
Release Date - 2019
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     A little less than a month ago I made a promise to myself to take my review more seriously.  I was letting way too many movies stack up and I never found the time to check them out.  I set out to review at least one movie a day and if I found the time I would do more here and there.  I work full time and have three little ones that love my attention so finding time to watch and review horror/exploitation was difficult but I was able to do it.  Now, I'm reviewing 2 or 3 movies a day and I actually enjoy getting caught up on my backlog of movies.  However, sometimes I have to stop what I'm doing to review a movie from a filmmaker that I love.  Earlier in the year Dustin Mills announced a new feature length film Slaughterhouse Slumber Party.  I shared exclusive photos for the film on the site but I fucking forgot to pre-order a copy and he was sold out when I remembered I needed to.  A few days ago Dustin announced that he had a few extra copies for sale and I jumped on it.  I'm glad I did because this one was a fun ride.  Thanks Dustin for hooking me up!

     The film follows a group of sexy women who gather once a year for a sleep over with drinking and no judgement.  This year one of them brings socially awkward and backward Gretchen (Lupa) to the party.  Gretchen secretly practices dark magic and spells and has conjured something evil in the attic before she dies from a freak pillow fighting accident.  They panic and when her body comes back to life she shoot her and then dispose of her body in the lake.  This does not contain her and she is soon back in the home thinning the group until only a few of them remain.  The remaining almost nude beauties must then band together to stop Gretchen before she takes all their souls.  

     I was not expecting Slaughterhouse Slumber Party to be the type of film it was.  I've been a fans of Dustin for years now and this film did throw me off at first.  I obviously liked the film but it did take some getting used to at first.  This made the movie stand out but was this unique approach to the story helpful or detrimental?  The acting in this one is great.  The entire cast was funny to watch and nice to look at.   Each character in the film has their own personality with the cast doing a fantastic job bringing those to life.  Some characters are funny and carry the scenes while others are more grounded which helps the story move along.  I can't take all day to credit each and every member of the cast but they truly deserve some praise.  The story for this one is amazing and distracting at the same time.  The film borrows the reality tv show premise in a way the show The Office does where random interviews breaking up the segment.  The film tosses that in with the story which was funny the first few times but 20 minutes in and the joke has ran it's course.  I found myself on the fence with this one until roughly the 40 minute mark and then Mills pulled me back in.  The story picks up at that point and we are thrust even deeper into the chaos of the ghost story that unfolds in similar fashion to Evil Dead meets Poltergeist.  We get nods to several horror classics and they all work.  Finally, the film is a return to Mills' superb blend of computer generated effects and practical effects.  In some scenes the visual effects are silly but that is intentional and then in others they look great.  They work with the practical effects to make the scenes even more fun.  The practical effects we get are great as well but the visuals are what draws the viewer in.  Overall, Slaughterhouse Slumber Party brings director Dustin Mills from his Crumpleshack Films back to his classic look.  I enjoy Crumpleshack Films from Dustin but his unique combination of visual and practical effects create unforgettable movie experiences.  I highly recommend this one so check it out if you can!

Daybreakers

Directors(s) - Michael Spierig (Winchester, Jigsaw) and Peter Spierig (Winchester Jigsaw)

Starring - Ethan Hawke (The Purge, Sinister), Willem Dafoe (Shadow of the Vampire, Spider-Man), and Sam Neill (Jurassic Park, Event Horizon)

Release Date - 2009

Genre - Horror/Sci-FI

Tagline - "The battle between immortality and humanity is on"

Format - 4K Ultra HD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     When I was in college I would often go to the theater to check out whatever caught my eye that weekend.  I went with my ex, my wife when we started dating, my friends, and I even went alone a few times.  There is something special about watching a movie in a theatrical setting when compared to a home viewing.  I watched mostly horror but there was other genres that I would venture into if I thought the movie was interesting.  It was one of my many trips to the theater that I watch the 2009 sci-fi horror flick Daybreakers.  The Twilight Saga was still a popular thing at the time so vampires, much like zombies now, was a guaranteed profit.  I liked the movie and I purchased it sometime after the release for my collection.  Recently, it was announced that the film was getting a new 4K Ultra HD release and I was lucky enough to get a review copy.
     The world has succumbed to vampires when most of the world's population was infected by a bat carrying the disease.  Now they are struggling to feed the masses with humans in hiding and the ones they do find are farmed for their blood.  An epidemic is now gripping the vampires.  The blood shortage is resulting in starved vampires mutating into more batlike creatures that feed on each other.  A synthetic blood is in development but Dr. Edward Dalton (Hawke) finds a cure for vampirism.  A human, who was once a vampire, has learned of a way to jump start the heart ending vampirism.
     I liked Daybreakers and watched it several times since my first viewing but it has been several years since I gave it another spin.  I was curious how it would hold up.  The acting in this one is fantastic.  We have an amazing cast with actors one would not expect to see in a vampire sci-fi horror film. Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, and Sam Niell are all fantastic.  This would be the first in a string of horror movies starring Hawke.  He is a strong lead and very versatile in his roles.  His approach to the vampire is unusual but works for the sake of the story.  Dafoe is another amazing actor that brings an unforgettable character from the film to life.  In fact, his performance is my favorite in the film.  The story for this one is a little goofy but it works for what it is.  A world ruled by vampires is about to crumble due to lack of blood.  This is a solid baseline for a vampire flick.  We then get these add ons that works as well like the fully mutated vampires, the forests on fire due to vampiric animals getting exposed to sunlight, and the race for a cure work as well.  Sure, a few moments make you roll your eyes but the overall film has solid pacing and a story that does play with your imagination.  Finally, this is a real bloody films  The practical effects are what you would expect from a film with this kind of budget but the visual effects did not age well.  The green screen shots look like shit and the CGI is very laughable.  Overall, Daybreakers was a solid film when it was released and still a fun watch.  It did not age as well as some classic horror titles but it still deserves a watch.  Check it out on 4K now.  

Itsy Bitsy

 



Director - Micah Gallo (Wick, Massacre Lake)
Starring - Bruce Davison (X-Men, The Exorcist), Elizabeth Roberts (Black Knight, Heroes), and Denise Crosby (Pet Sematary, Dolly Dearest)
Release Date - 2019
Genre - Horror/Fantasy
Tagline - "Always check under the bed"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

 

    I know so many people who are afraid of spiders.  When I mean they are afraid of spider I mean they become hysterical when they see them.  I know a lot of people scream and make a scene just trying to get attention but there are so many out there that just completely shut down when they see one.  I am not one of those people.  I typically pick them up and carry them outside if I find one in my home.  Spiders don't scare me but I do usually have fun with horror films centered around spiders.  Movies like Eight Legged Freaks and Arachnophobia are two films I often revisit.  Sometime back I got the announcement that Shout Studios was releasing the new spider horror flick Itsy Bitsy.  I was curious about the film and was lucky enough to get a copy of it for review before it was released.  Thanks Shout Factory for sending this one my way. 

     The film follows a single mother with her two children who move from the city to a country home.  She has a job taking care of an older gentleman who collects different antiques and ancient relics.  Among his possessions is a cursed egg.  When the single mother's son Jesse (Arman Darbo) visits the man's home he steals something from him which unleashes an ancient spider that will stop at nothing to kill them all. 

      I really wanted to like Itsy Bitsy.   I absolutely hate getting a movie in for review only to write a negative review for it.  It happens and it typically makes me feel like an ass but I refuse to lie in my reviews.  The movie did have some cool parts but the overall film just did not go over well with me.  The acting in this one is extremely uneven.  When I typically say this I'm referring to some of the cast members upstaging others but that is not the case with this film.  Instead, the cast just doesn't care in several scenes and in others they are delivering the best performances they can.  I don't know if the cast were exhausted when certain scenes were shot or if the director was more laid back but there is a definite inconsistency with the film.  The story for this one is goofy at times while struggling to find its footing but does deliver a few moments that I enjoyed.  The ancient egg hiding an evil spider that finds itself in the home of an old man deep in the country is pretty fucking lame.  However, if you let that slide you find yourself almost enjoying the anti-climatic game of cat and mouse inside of a the old house.  The movie is predictable and the tension and suspense is missing from all the dramatic scenes.  Finally, the film does have a few scenes with great practical effects but we don't get the blood and gore we would like to see from a giant spider movie.  The practical effects we do get are great but they are overshadowed by the cheap CGI spider as the film draws to a close.  Overall, Itsy Bitsy would have worked if it was made in the 80s along with the other campy monster movies but for a horror film in 2019 it falls short.  I would recommend this one if you have a fear of spiders but normal horror fans will not enjoy themselves with this one. 

 



The Banana Splits Movie



Director - Danishka Esterhazy (Level 16, The Trails of Rasputin)
Starring - Dani Kind (The Night Before Halloween, Good Witch), Finlay Wojtak-Hissong (The Kindness of Strangers), Romeo Carere (Pyewacket, Don't Talk to Irene)
Release Date - 2019
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "Tra la la terror"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

 

 

     I'm a huge fan of television shows from yesteryear.  I was born in the 80s and grew up through the 90s so I have a soft spot for shows that was aired during that timeframe but I've always been open minded to shows released prior.  When I was younger, like early elementary school age, there was a reboot of the classic series Land of the Lost that aired on Nickelodeon.  I fucking loved this show.  This lead me to check out the original series which I also really enjoyed.  That took me down the Sid and Marty Krofft path where I uncovered so much about them and their crazy television shows.  In the late 60s the brothers built the sets and produced the Hanna-Barbera live action/animated show The Banana Splits.  I never watched the show but I knew some about it.  Recently, the show was adapted into a horror film which is fucking genius.  It was a known property collecting dust and the writers and producers opted to bring it to life with a horror spin.  This sounded amazing and I had to check it out.
     The film follows Harley (Wojtak-Hissong) who is obsessed with The Banana Splits.  His mother surprises him with tickets to a live taping of the show and the whole family goes.  This just happens to be the night that the VP announces that the show is cancelled.  One of the animatronic Banana Splits overhears about the cancellation and the four go on a killing spree killing all the adults and imprisoning the children so their show can continue. 
     I was extremely excited when I tossed this one in.  I couldn't wait to check it out but within minutes I realized that this film was not as fun as I was hoping for.  The movie had a few fun moments but I found most of the film to be extremely boring and forgettable.  The acting in this one is decent.  The cast is not bad but the performances are flat and unenthused.  With that being said, I really disliked the characters.  There is not one that I was hoping would survive.  They all got under my skin and I was hoping they all met their demise at the hands of these costumed animatronics.   The story for this one is simple but just doesn't work like I was hoping.  A group of children's television characters going on a murder spree is something horror fans dream of but the film doesn't deliver them to the viewer in an appealing manner.  First, we get characters that you can't stand before moving to the set of the show where the movie focuses more on the behind the scenes more than the cast of the show.  Then we jump to the horror portion which is very underwhelming.  This makes me wonder if this was a Five Nights at Freddy's that was rewritten to fit The Banana Splits?  I don't know but I do know that this film missed it's mark.  Finally, the film does not shy away from the blood and gore which really surprised me.  I figured because it was a Hanna-Barbera and a Sid and Marty Krofft property it would take the PG-13 path.  Instead, we are given some great gore and fun kills.  These are the only enjoyable aspect of the film.  Overall, The Banana Splits Movie is one of those movies that sounds like a fantastic idea but is poorly executed.  I can see some of the pop horror fans enjoying this once but I cannot recommend it.  Skip it.  

 



Rolls Royce Baby

 



Director - Erwin C. Dietrich (Caged Women, She Devils of the SS)
Starring - Lina Romay (Revenge in the House of Usher, Oasis of the Zombies), Eric Falk (Six Swedish Girls in a Boarding School, Barbed Wire Dolls), and Ursula Maria Schaefer (Girls Who Play Alone, Varsity Playthings)
Release Date - 1975
Genre - Comedy
Tagline - "...a girl who knows what she wants"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

 

 

     I've been burning through movies trying to get caught up on reviews.  I'm watching almost three to four movies a day and reviewing them immediately after watching them.  That is a lot of horror movies in a week.  I love horror but sometimes you find yourself getting a little burned out when you watch that much of it so I started doing something.  Every Sunday I toss in a sexploitation or exploitation flick give myself a break from the blood and gore.  Last Sunday I decided to check out the 1975 Lina Romay film Rolls Royce Baby that was sent my way from Full Moon Features.  I had never seen this one before but I am very familiar with her body...of work.  Thank you Full Moon for sending this one my way. 

     The film follows erotic model (Romay) who is known for her captivating photos.  However, she is bored with life and travels around in her Rolls Royce looking for someone to give her some sexual satisfaction. 

     I was actually looking forward to checking this one out but I found myself just not liking it.  I have nothing against a sleazy movie being sleazy just for the point of being sleazy but Rolls Royce Baby bored the ever loving fuck out of me.  The acting in this one is not bad but you don't really get to enjoy the cast.  Because the film lacks a plot we don't get the most in depth character interactions.  Instead we get light dialogue before the dry humping begins.  The story for this one is non-existent.  We get scenes that are tied together by the character only with nothing happening aside from nudity and light acting.  The film was clearly put together on the fly and to take advantage of Lina Romay and her connect to Franco.  Finally, no blood or gore in this one.  If you are after nudity then you will be in luck.  Overall, Rolls Royce Baby was not that appealing to me.  It was a movie that succeeded in turning nudity into a boring concept.  Skip this one.