Starring - Beverly Washburn (Old Yeller, Spider Baby), Brinke Stevens (Side Effects May Vary, Smart House), and Robert Allen Mukes (House of 1000 Corpses, Futureworld)
Release Date- 2024
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "The maddest story ever told"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)
Rating (out of 5):
I've been reviewing films for a long ass time and some of my lowest rated films have all come from the same filmmaker, Dustin Ferguson. Over the years I've reviewed several of his films and the only two that I enjoyed was Stale Popcorn and Sticky Floors and Direct to Video. These two documentaries are actually pretty well put together and feature some solid interviews. Hell, I reviewed them several years back and I still recommend them to people to this day. With that being said, his films are mostly clickbait titles that offer up absolutely no value. Sometime back he announced his plans to remake the cult classic Spider Baby, or the Maddest Story Ever Told with original producer Jack Hill. The few horror fans that heard the news immediately brushed it off as another dud from Ferguson but I was curious. I don't mind remakes and I fucking love the original Spider Baby so I didn't brush this one off. Then I completely forgot about it until I received the press release from Scream Team Releasing announcing the blu release of the film. I quickly snagged a copy and put it aside to add to my October horror binge.
The film follows three siblings who suffer from Merrye Syndrome, a disease that eats away at the brain causing the inflicted to revert back to a child mentality which is brought about by inbreeding. The oldest child, Ralph, has digressed further along than his two little sisters. They live with their caretaker who receives word that some relatives are trying to force them off the land so they can sell it. They visit their oddball cousins and soon learn that these three and the caretaker who will do anything for them, will not be leaving their family home without a fight.
The original Spider Baby is one of my favorite genre titles and over the years I've met some seriously dedicated fans of this film. In fact, when I posted on my social media accounts that I was watching this I was met with some not so nice comments. Sure, people immediately jump the gun and hate remakes but these comments were aimed at the director remaking the film than the remake itself. If you go through letterboxd or any other user based review site for films you will find a dozen or so 5 star reviews and then dozens of negative ones. It's clear the 5 stars are from cast, crew of even Ferguson himself with the negative coming from people that actually watched the film. Spider Baby is no different. While it does try it's damnedest to pay tribute to the original, it wasn't able to fill it's shoes. The acting in this one is extremely uneven. While I did enjoy some of the scenes, some of the others were very awkward to watch. I don't know if this was due to a rushed shoot, lack of rehearsals, or zero input from the director. These scenes feature dialogue with no conviction, the cast standing around stiff as a board, and a few scenes even feature cast members aimlessly walking around as if they didn't know what to do next. The story for this one is pretty faithful to the original. While it does struggle with pacing issues and bringing the excitement that the original is known for. What makes the original Spider Baby so enjoyable is the characters and their interactions with one another. When the acting fails to be consistent like this remake does then you are left with a pretty bland story that doesn't hold the viewer's attention. I respect Ferguson for trying to follow the film as closely as he does but he really needed to be more hands on with the acting. Finally, don't expect a bloodbath. We get a little blood here or there along with some cheap skeletons and the like but that is the extent of it. Nothing memorable or noteworthy in that regard. Overall, Spider Baby is the perfect example of cult cinema and how a movie can gain a following decades after it's release. However, the remake is another one that is difficult to finish. It lacks everything that made the first one so much. I seriously wanted to like it but its another forgettable film from a clickbait director. Skip it.
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