Teenage Bloodsuckin' Bimbos

 



Director - Anthony Cantanese (Sodomaniac, Hi-Death)
Starring - Gigi Gustin (Hijab, Frat Star), Destyne Marshai (3: The New Normal, Sam and Saah), and Amanda Renee (Zombies, Scumbag Night)
Release Date - 2018
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "Being a teenage...really sucks"
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

      Anthony Cantanese is probably my favorite director you've never heard of.  That kind of sounds like a dick thing to say but I mean it with the utmost respect.  He is an amazing filmmaker.  A few years back he released his slasher Sodomaniac and has since contributed a segment to the anthology film Hi-Death.  His films are always fun which is what many indie directors forget.  They want to be extreme which results in another boring film filled with guts and no story.  Cantanese makes horror fun and after watching Sodomaniac I was hooked.  When he announced Teenage Bloodsuckin' Bimbos I was ready to love it.  I knew he wouldn't try to follow trends or make a pointless film.  I was ready for a fun vampire film like the ones I grew up with.  A few days ago he reached out to me to review the film and I couldn't be anymore excited.  Thank you for allowing Horror Society and myself the opportunity to see the film!

     The film follows a young woman who lives in a trailer park with her alcoholic mother and baby brother.  She is often made fun of at school and left to tend to her younger sibling but that changes when she meets three strong women who shows her that she doesn't have to be the victim any longer.  Her broken will convinces her this is the way and they turn her into a vampire.  The power trip works for awhile but she soon realizes that she wants to be human with her little brother so she enlists the great (17x) nephew of Van Helsing and a mullet headed porn addict to help her stop the three vampires and return her back to her old self.

     I went through a spell where I was obsessed with vampire flicks.  Especially 80s vampire flicks.  The Lost Boys opened the door to Fright Night, Once Bitten, My Best Friend is a Vampire, Vamp, Near Dark, and Vampire Hunter D.  As you can tell from the films I just listed I really enjoy the vampire flicks that have colorful characters and oddball humor.  Teenage Bloodsuckin' Bimbos had that and then some. The acting in this one is great.  The characters are very eccentric and colorful.  The cast did a fantastic job bringing them to life.  Some of the characters were more fun to watch than others but everyone did their part and moved the story along flawlessly.  The story for this one would have been perfect for the 80s.  I recall a few vampire flicks that followed a group of friends trying to turn one of them back into a human.  In fact, that is pretty much the basis for Once Bitten.  I loved the modern retelling of this with the 80s homage and montages tossed throughout.  The horror is light and the humor is spot on.  I also loved how fun the characters was.  If Cantanese would have made the characters more realistic and flat the film would have fell apart.  Finally, this is as a good vampire film should be.  Full of beautiful women and blood.  The women are smoking hot and there is a lot of blood.  Sadly, the effects are very limited but that is the nature of vampire flicks.  Cantanese handles the gags very well and utilizes camera angles and trick shocks to make the neck bites work.  Overall, Teenage Bloodsuckin' Bimbos is a fantastic.  This is one of the best vampire films I have seen in years.  This film has bite but no suckage.  Check it out.