Witch's Brew

Director - Chris LaMartina (President's Day)
Starring - Chris Magorian (President's Day), Gary-Kayi Fletcher (Senior Cut Day: The Movie), and Ryan Thomas (V/H/S/2)
Release Date - 2013
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "Liver damage will be the LEAST of your problems..."
Format - DVD (Borrowed)

Rating (out of 5):

      Have you ever wanted to watch a movie so bad that you would do ALMOST anything to get your hands on it?  That was me and Chris LaMartina's film Witch's Brew.  Several months back I was recommended this movie by cameraman and indie actor Scott Gregg.  I tried to order the film from amazon.com 4 times before giving up on ever seeing the film.  The first time I ordered it I received a notice that the film will ship in 11 to 17 days.  I had never received that notice before but I could be patient.  However, after waiting a month and the money for the film already pulled from my bank account I became a little angry.  I called Amazon's customer service and got a refund for the undelivered film.  My wife knew how bad I wanted to see the flick and kept an eye out for me and when she saw that the Amazon page for the film now stated that the film will be shipped in 3 to 5 days.  I once again ordered the film.  A week passed and I got confirmation that the film has been shipped and the money was pulled from my bank account.  A few days later I received an email stating the order had been cancelled and my money would be refunded shortly.  This occurred two more times and I finally gave up on it.  That was until last week when Zombie13 was nice enough to mail me his copy to finally watch.  Thank you Zombie13!
     The film follows two friends that brew their own beer.  The micro-brewery is called Slacker Lager and the local community loves it.  They sell to almost everyone and that is where the problem lies.While delivering their newest batch of beer the two hit a cat with their car.  The cat is wearing a collar with the address on it.  The two take the feline's remains to the address where they encounter a witch and she puts a curse on their beer.  The cat was actually a witch in disguise.  This really bothered one of the young men.  He begs his partner to not sell the beer but he thinks nothing of the crazy old lady's words.  They deliver the beer as planned and quickly wish they did not.  Those that drink the beer die often in ironic ways.   The pair try to retrace their steps and pick up the beer in the reverse order they were delivered but it is too late.  The pair team up with a straight edge bartender and a female cop and head to the witch's home only to unveil a convent of witches attempting to deliver a blood sacrifice.  

     I thought this movie would not meet my expectations after the headache I went through trying to order it.  However, it did and surpassed them.  This is another sad example of how great films go unnoticed while shit can float the streams of mediocrity in to our living room.  People should really give this movie a go and stop buying all these damn zombie movies from Wal-Mart that way more movies as good as this one can be made instead of the same movie with the same plot.  The acting in this one is great.  It is not the best in the world but it only adds to the feel of the movie.  The acting, along with the story, made the film look and feel like the cheesy films I grew up with in the 80s.  That was a time when the directors actually gave a damn if people would like their film or not and LaMartina knows that.   After seeing this I am going to make another attempt at buying this amazing film along with his other flick President's Day.  The story is nothing award winning or original.  It reminded me of The Stuff meets a frat house and I fucking love that.  Finally, the films special effects and on screen kills are great.  LaMartina knows that real horror fans love practical effects instead of shitty CGI and he gave them just that.  Sure, the film does have some CGI but it still runs wild with practical effects.  The effects look great and the kills look ever better.  Overall, this is an amazing movie that will not fall short on entertainment.  I highly recommend.