Cemetery Sisters

Director - Nick Millard (Death Nurse, Death Nurse II)
Starring - Leslie Simon, Joan Simon, and Albert Eskinazi (Doctor Bloodbath)
Release Date - 1987
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "They love to kill!"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     The next few weeks you will see a large amount of S.O.V., shot on video, horror flicks up for review thanks to the fine folks over at Olive Films.  Recently, Olive Films teamed up with Slasher//Video to release their entire catalog on DVD and blu.  Several months back I was sent the slasher Satan's Blade to check out and review.  Sadly, the film was not that great but it was one of the few that I was not looking forward to checking out from the Olive Films and Slasher//Video team up.  One of the films that I really wanted to check out was Cemetery Sisters which was directed by Nick Millard and starring real life sisters Joan and Leslie Simon.  This S.O.V. flick was released in 1987 and was one of three films directed by Nick Millard in just two years that used the same story line.  Either way, I was excited to check the film out and thank you Olive Films for sending a copy my way.

     The film follows sisters Joan and Leslie who live with each other and have a solid routine going where the two lure men to their home and marry them.  On their wedding nights they kill the men and pull in their inheritance.  They are saving the money they collect so they can buy a funeral home and continue in their family's footsteps.  They continue to marry man after man to build the savings needed to buy the funeral home.  One night, they off a man in their typical fashion and soon their aunt pays them a visit.  She is leaving their uncle and needs somewhere to stay throwing a wrench in the gears of their plan forcing the sisters to do something drastic to keep their rouse going.

      I enjoy a good S.O.V.  Not because they are game changing but because they are simple in nature and typically offer up some decent gore.  Cemetery Sisters did not really offer up much of the gore that I was anticipating but it still offered up some crude entertainment.  The acting in this one goes two different ways.  We have the Simon sisters on one side that do a great job.  They are calm, cool, calculating, and relentless and the fact they are with their sister makes their interactions natural.  They interact very well together which does help the story move along.  The remainder of the cast is very difficult to watch and even hard to follow.  I'm kinda glad they were murdered.  The story for this one is very simple and one I am almost certain I saw on an episode of Murder She Wrote when I was a wee lad.  The story follows two sister who marry and then kill for inheritance.  Not much going on other than that.  Lucky for us the film is barely 60 minutes so it does not drag out too far but some of the scenes are very stale and full of some of the worst written dialogue I have ever heard.  I sincerely hope this was improved because I could not imagine someone writing something that dreadful.  Finally, the film has several bloody kills but they do not take place on screen.  The film uses clever editing and camera tricks to pull the kills off.  They are effective considering their budget but it is hard to give an S.O.V. film credit when the kills are not gory when you can compare it to Killing Spree.  The practical effects for the kills are non-existent.  We get some blood and some knife trick to simulate stabbing but that is it.  Overall, Cemetery Sisters is a solid S.O.V. outing that is very flawed but still has some charm.  Fans of no budget horror should really check this one out.