Santa with Muscles

Director - John Murlowski (Amityville: A New Generation, Zombie Hamlet)
Starring - Hulk Hogan (No Holds Barred, Suburban Commando), Don Stark (Star Trek: First Contact, That 70s Show), and Robin Curtis (Ghost Story, Star Trek: The Search for Spock)
Release Date - 1996
Genre - Action/Comedy
Tagline - "He's naughty, he's nice, and he's coming to save Christmas"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     Most of you have heard this by now but I feel the need to explain myself.  I was born in the 80s and raised in the 90s.  I was the perfect age to enjoy the NWO take over of WCW and was I was huge fan of the Hulk Hogan family films.  I grew up thinking I had seen all of them but that changed sometime back when Mill Creek Entertainment announced the blu release of the 1996 holiday film Santa with Muscles.  I remember seeing the film and recording it as a kid on tape then turning around and giving the tape away but I don't recall a god damn thing about the film.  I reached out to Mill Creek and they were kind enough to send a copy my way.  Thanks guys!
     The film follows the rich and famous Blake (Hogan) who is known for his wild antics.  One day he gets the attention of the police and during a getaway he finds himself dressed as Santa.  Soon after he hits his head and suffers amnesia.  One of the elves recognizes him and tries to use his amnesia episode as a way to get to his fortune so he convinces Blake that he is Santa.  Blake falls for it and starts doing righteous acts which earns him the nickname Santa with Muscles from the local news.  His headstrong and righteous ways lands him on the steps of an orphanage that is about to be closed where they need his help to stop the evil Ebner Frost (Ed Begley Jr.) from taking control of it for what is growing underneath it.
     I love the cheesy family friendly movies of the 90s.  Sure, they suck for the most part but they still have that whimsical entertaining value that I enjoy. Sadly, Santa with Muscles was a bit of a let down.  If offered up very little entertainment value and the few things that were pretty cool was overshadowed by the bad.  The acting in this one is super fucking cheesy.  Hogan is not known for his acting chops but this film is by far his cheesiest.  He hams it up in every scene which makes it awkward more often than not.  The same can be said for the supporting cast as well.  They deliver direct to video quality performances which does nothing for the film but does, at times, convince the viewer that they don't know what they are doing.  The story for this one is interesting but nothing new.  There has been several other kids friendly movies pop up over the years, especially during the 90s, that followed a group of orphans trying to save their home.  Tossing in Hogan and setting it during Christmas doesn't save it.  In fact, the lack of Christmas during the film only makes it feel cheaper than what it actually is.  Finally, this family friendly film does have some pretty cool practical effects and make-up effects.  I also liked the props in the film.  Some of the characters resembled super villains but their performances were very underwhelming.  Also, those looking for very dated visual effects will love it.  Overall, Santa with Muscles is the most 1996 straight to video release I have ever seen.  The blu looks fairly decent especially when you watch the VHS quality trailer (where I got the images from).  I'm glad I have this one in my collection but I highly doubt I will be revisiting this one anytime soon.