Critters Series

Critters

Director - Stephen Herek (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure)
Starring - Dee Wallace (The Howling), M. Emmet Walsh (Home Improvement), and Billy Green Bush (Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday)
Release Date: 1986
Genre - Horror/Sci-Fi
Tagline - "They bite," "When you've got critters...you need all the help you can get," and "They eat so fast you won't have time to scream"
Format - DVD (4 Film Favorites: Critters Collection) (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5): 

     This is one of those films that everyone has seen.  You may have not seen the entire film but you have seen bits and pieces of it.  That latter was me.  I had never finished watching the first Critters film, yet alone the other three sequels.  I grabbed the four film pack at Wal-Mart for $12, I believe, and has been sitting on my shelve ever since.  My father would always watch it when it would air on television but I would often leave to watch something else in my room.  I had heard by most that this film was a very decent flick but for some strange reason I just never had a desire to watch it.  After some coaching I pulled out the set and finally sat down to give them my undivided attention.   

     The film begins where a space craft is carrying prisoners to a prison built on an asteroid.  The prison is home to some of the nastiest alien scum that space has to offer.  However, a creature, known as crites, is sent to the asteroid prison to be destroyed but somehow escape and make their way to Earth eating everything in sight.  The warden of the prison send two bounty hunters who have the ability to transform their appearance to look like the surround lifeforms.  Back on Earth the Brown family are unaware that a horrific creature with an insatiable appetite is making their way to their farm.  On Earth, the bounty hunters have problems fitting in, even with the help of their morphing skills.  One bounty hunter chooses to transform into a rock star while the other one seems to be suffering from an illness or hardware glitch and randomly morphs into some of the towns people he has came in contact with.  Meanwhile, back on the Brown's farm the critters are eating cattle, chickens, and boyfriends.  The town drunk, who predicted the aliens invasion, joins the family to help fend of the furry furies.  Once the bounty hunters get their act together they are able to save the day before returning to space, taking Charlie with them.

      I really enjoyed this movie.  I do not know why I never sat down to watch this one before now.  The film was extremely entertaining and where this was my first viewing I could not take my eyes off it. I really enjoyed the cheesy storyline and acting.  The story is somewhat similar to Night of the Creeps with the slug creatures escaping captivity and falling to Earth in the same fashion.  It is also similar in story to Night of the Living Dead, however, the zombies are replaced by carnivorous balls of fur.  The effects are top notch.  The transformation scene when the bounty hunter turns into the rock star is the coolest thing I have ever scene in a movie that did not involve gratuitous nudity.  The acting was very well done and had a few brief appearences by some now known stars such as Lin Shaye, who appeared in Detroit Rock City and Kingpin, and Billy Zane, who appeared in Tombstone and Demon Knight.  What I did not like about the movie was the deaths.  There was only a few deaths in the entire flick and they all took place, for the most part, off camera.  They had some bites and needle shots in view but never the kills.  Being the horror hound I am I want to see someone being eaten by one of these little shits.  Luckily this is my only complaint about this flick.  This one should be watched, as well  as, purchased for your collection

Critters 2: The Main Course

Director - Mick Garris (Sleepwalkers)
Starring - Scott Grimes (Star Trek: The Next Generation), Liane Curtis (Married with Children), and Terrence Mann (Big Top Pee Wee)
Release Date - 1988
Genre - Horror/Comedy/Sci-Fi
Tagline - "Critters 1 got your blood pumping...this time they want more than a taste" and "Get ready for seconds...they're back"
Format - DVD (4 Film Favorites: Critters Collection) (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     Before I popped in the dvd for this flick I wanted to look up and see who was in it and who directed.it.  First thing I noticed was that this little flick was directed by Mick Garris.  Garris is known for his Stephen King adaptions and has directed two episodes in the Masters of Horror television series.  With the exception of Sleepwalkers, I dislike his films.  His films often drag out for long periods of time with some of the worst dialogue imaginable.  From what I can see on imdb.com that I'm not the only one who dislikes his King adaptions.  To me his MoH episodes are definitely the weakest in the series.  So it was safe to say that after seeing he was attached to this I had my doubts.

     The film begins with the cliche rebel type teenager and what appears to be a hobo discovering a nest of green eggs.  This is unfortunate because the young boy from the previous film is returning to his hometown to visit family after moving away due to the events that unfolded.  While he is in town the townspeople begin dying.  Meanwhile, in space, Charlie and the bounty hunters are kicking ass and taking names until they are informed that they did not finish the job back on Earth.  The three then venture to Earth to finish the job.  On Earth one of the bounty hunters resumes using the appearance of the rock star and the other still glitches in and out of different appearances.  The bounty hunter goes from taking on the appearance of a playboy model, a fast food restaurant manager, and many of the townspeople.    The townspeople start blaming the young boy for the incidents due to his return to town coincides with the crite's attacks.   The town turn their backs on the boy until more and more crites appear and the town has no option but to work together.  The town has to join together, with the young boy, to destroy the crites after one of the bounty hunters is killed.  The remaining bounty hunter, Charlie, and all the towns folk work together to create a plan using hamburgers as a decoy to get them in one location to kill them but it does not work.  The crites merge together creating a death ball and go on a rampage through town before Charlie crashes a space craft into the giant crite ball.  Charlie miraculously lives and the townspeople go on with their lives and the bounty heads off to space leaving Charlie behind. 

     This movie shocked me.  I assumed that because Garris was behind it would have pacing issues like the other Garris films I have been unlucky enough to come across.  However, I was way off.  This movie was actually as good as the first, if not better.  This movie does not have the look and feel of the previous film.  The portions of the film that take place outside are beautiful and reminiscent of a classic Tim Burton film.  I refer to certain scene, in particular the bunny costume scene, where the grass is extremely green and the sky is so blue it hurts your eyes like the suburbs in Edward Scissorhands and Pee Wee's Big Adventure.  The atmosphere and scenery is something I truly enjoyed in this flick.  I also enjoyed the acting.  The cast is made of people who had other roles in major films but are often not cast as leads. That it is a shame, because this cast done their job.  The characters are very believable and the viewer starts to really like having them on screen.  Also, the effects in this one are just as good as the first flick and the film goes a little further by showing more blood and gore.  I also liked the comedic elements added to this film that I think are absent in the first.  People do find the first one funny but I did not.  I could see what some people would find funny in the first film but the gags did not really work on me.  When I watched this I really looked hard to see what I could find to hate assuming I would find tones.  For me, the only thing I found that I did not like was when the crites would roll around.  It looked silly as hell.  I laughed when I saw them rolling around.  In the first film it was done in short segments so it worked well, however, in this one they are rolling for longer distances and just does not work that well.  Because this is my only gripe about the flick makes it a good, solid flick.  Another one that should be watched and added to your collection.

Critters 3

Director - Kristine Peterson (Deadly Dreams) 

Starring -  Leonardo DiCaprio (Gangs of New York), Don Opper (The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.), and Aimee Brooks (Sorority House Massacre)

Release Date - 1991

Genre - Horror/Sci-Fi/Comedy

Tagline - "First they devoured a farm, then they terrorized a town, now they're ready to do some real damage" and "You are what they eat"

Format - DVD (4 Film Favorites: Critters Collection) (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     After finally watching the first two Critters films in their entirety I was pretty pumped to finish the series.  After doing some research on this one I saw Leo was in this one which made me doubt I would like it.  I did not know if I should expect him to star in it or just assume he had a small role and due to his career taking off that New Line just billed him as the star to cash in on his fame.  I was happy to see that Don Opper did return to play Charlie from the previous first two films and the rest of the cast has some experience in horror films so not all hope was lost.

     This film follows a family consisting of two kids and their father.  The children's mother passed away and this trip was a way for them to just take their mind of the whole thing even though it had been a few years.  Along the way they get a flat tire and pull over to a rest area so the father can fix it.  The kids meet Josh (Leo) who warn them that leaving the rest area and entering the wooded area could be dangerous.  A few moments later the dumb ass throws the little boys frisbee into the area he just warned them about.  The three venture off to find it but find Charlie from the previous films hiding in some brush.  Charlie gives the small boy a crystal that will glow in the presence of evil aliens.  The kids then return to their parents.  The sibling's father is upset that his kids are now dirty and Josh's stepfather is introduced.  He is a greedy business man that believes Josh needs to be shown some discipline.  The film now moves to the city and a grubby apartment manager is evicting tenants and the owner of the building is Josh's stepfather.  He was awarded money to give to the tenants so they could stay in a hotel till they find a new home but he and the grubby manager are keeping that money for themselves.  This same apartment building also houses the two children and their father, who unknowingly brought along crites that stowed away under their truck.  In the apartment building the crites slowly snack away at the inhabitants.  The little boy still has Charlie's crystal and it begins to glow green warning them that aliens are nearby.  Charlie then arrives and tries to protect the remaining tenants before all the crites are destroyed.  Charlie then finds some eggs but before he is able to destroy them the bounty hunter from the first two films appears in a hologram and informs him that he can not destroy the eggs because they are now an endangered species.  The bounty hunter then sends a space craft down to get the eggs but Charlie steps with the eggs and some sort of gas knocks him unconscious.

     This movie just did not click with me like the other two films did.  There was some elements that just did not seem on par as the first two films.  I did enjoy the acting and story.  The acting is on the same level as the first two and the story is good but not quite as good.  I also like the personality that the crites have in this one compared to the first two.  With each film they seem to grow more and more with personality.  What I did not like was the kills. There is only one kill actually on camera and the rest are done off.  There isn't a lot of blood in this one either.  Most of the damage inflicted on the humans are by the needles the crites shoot.  Also, the film feels claustrophobic once they go inside the building.  The cast was crammed on top of each other, and as a viewer, I felt very uncomfortable.  Overall, this movie should be watched at least once but should not be compared to the first two, which is far more superior.

Critters 4

           

Director - Rupert Harvey
Starring - Don Opper (Black Moon Rising), Brad Dourif (Child's Play), and Angela Bassett (Vampire in Brooklyn)
Release Date - 1992
Genre - Horror/Comedy/Sci-Fi
Tagline - "In space...they love to hear you scream"
Format - DVD (4 Film Favorites: Critters Collection) (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     Coming off from watching Critters 3 I had no hope at all for Critters 4.  Like most of the films I watch, I looked up who directed the film and who was cast in it.  The director has no other directing credits and has mostly produced films throughout his movie career. The cast consists of actors that have some outstanding films under their belts so I knew that the acting would at least be enjoyable.  I still tried to be open minded once I threw this in the ol PS3.

     The film follows a space crew that earns a living salvaging abandoned ships.  They receive a video call from the bounty hunter, from the previous three films, instructing them to find a ship that has a pod he needs stashed away on it.  The pod is the one containing Charlie and the eggs from the third film.  He does not tell them of the horrors that await inside it.  They do find the ship, as well as, the pod contained it in.  The crew is allowed to take what is contained on the ship but are ordered to leave the pod alone.  However, the captain becomes greedy and goes off on his own to open to pod to see whats inside.  Once the pod is open Charlie wakes up...and the eggs hatch.  The captain crawls inside to get a look and is attacked by the crites where once forces it's way down his throat killing him.  When the others arrive they find Charlie and their dead captain.  They take Charlie in to question him because they believe he is the one responsible for their captains death.  While interrogating him Charlie discovers that he was stuck in that capsule for 53 years.  After one of the crew members is killed by the crites the remaining crew members have no other option but to believe him.  The crew are able to fend off the crites until the bounty hunter arrives.  He arrogantly ignores Charlie and kills one of the crew members while on his search for the remaining eggs.  One of the younger crew members tricks the guards that accompanied the bounty hunter and finds some of the eggs he is looking for.  After a juggling showdown the bounty hunter is knocked unconscious right as the reactor core is about to explode and the crew steal his space craft and fly off. 

     This movie is on the same level as the previous installment.  I have a lot more complaints on this film than I did on the previous film as well.  The only good note for this one is the acting.  The acting is the only thing that is consistent throughout the series.  The effects are pretty much non-existent.  There is one really cool scene where a crite forces it's way down the captains throat but other than that the film is missing when it comes to kills and special effects.  The crites are only in the film for a few minutes, which is stupid when the film is based on them.  I would liked to have seen more kills and a lot more crite action.  Overall, the movie needed more on camera kills and way more crite action.  This movie did offer entertainment but I highly doubt I will watch it again.