Wednesday, March 27, 2013


Director - Michael J. Gallagher (Roadkill)
Starring - Caitlin Gerard (The Social Network, The Awakening), Melanie Papalia (Super Hybrid, Supernatural), and Shane Dawson (The High Fructose Adventures of Annoying Orange)
Release Date - 2013
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "The new face of fear"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     I often find myself hating films that I often come across and consider mainstream.  These are usually the flicks you can check out in theaters.  I do come across a few that I find entertaining, however, a good portion of those films are not.  That especially applies to the horror genre.  Most are made for horror fans by people who know nothing about the genre except the films they see themselves in a theater.  This is why I love independent cinema and b-movies.  They are made by fans for the fans of the genre.  Most of these films are entertaining even if they are bad, however, some are just straight up shit.  That brings me to this shitstorm of a film here.  Some movies are way too bad to be released in theaters and the company behind the release know they fucked up and shove it out on DVD for cheap hoping not to make too big a lose.  I saw the trailer online a few months back and thought I would give it a chance.  I quickly changed my mind after checking out the IMDB page and discovered most of the cast and crew have no prior work in the genre.  I decided to avoid it but my wife had different plans.  She often picks up films for me when she is out and about and grabbed this one for me as a surprise...what a surprise it was.
     The film follows a young timid college freshman, Ashley (Gerard), as she moves in with her new roommate Proxy (Papalia).  Proxy is very tech savvy and spends most of her time online.  Proxy tells her new roommate about an urban legend known as Smiley.  The story goes that if you're in a webcam chat-room and someone says "I did it for the lulz" three times he will appear behind the other person and kill them.  The two try it on their unsuspected viewer and he does indeed die at the hands of Smiley.  After witnessing this, Ashley goes through a bout with depression and wants to inform the police about what happened.  However, Proxy will not let her and convinces her not to because the police will think she is crazy.  As other members of Proxy's online community start to turn up missing, Ashley's depression and guilt worsen as she suspects Smiley is behind it all.  Ashley then tries to get the police involved, behind Proxy's back, but that goes no where because they do not believe her.  She does find comfort in another computer geek that is harassed by the others.  The young man reported Proxy and her friends for posting a child porn video as a prank and is now nicknamed Pedobear.  The young man and Ashley start to fall for each other and she confesses what had happened to her.  He believes her and tells her that he has been investigating the entire ordeal.  Smiley starts to stalk Ashley outside of cyberspace forcing her further and further into insanity before she finally dives out of a window killing herself.  It is then revealed that her roommate Proxy, Pedobear, and the rest of Smiley's victims are actually alive and are working together to create their own urban legend tale that will live forever.
     Most people enjoy a certain genre because it fits their personality.  Those that enjoy comedy tend to have a more layed back lifestyle and view life a lot differently than those that are loyal to the horror genre.  It is because of that very reason that most have a difficult time transitioning from one genre to the next.  Those not familiar with the genre often do not notice the things that horror fans love.  After watching this film I did a little digging and discovered that most of the cast and crew worked previously on comedies, some of which were online on various sites such as youtube.  That made perfect sense because this movie lacks everything that horror fans wants to see.  First thing I want to mention is the story.  The movie is a more modern adaptation of the Scream series mixed with the Clive Barker classic Candyman.  Scream was a modern slasher film during the 90's that somewhat revitalized the slasher sub-genre.  However, trying to make a film similar in style a decade later and mixing it with another film is setting yourself up with large shoes to fill...and this film does not fill them at all.  The film does not develop very well on screen and at times is very difficult to follow.  I had a difficult time watching this move because it is just so damn boring and the characters are extremely difficult to like.  In fact, the college professor and Pedobear are the only ones the viewer feels any real connection with.  The acting is not the reason behind this because the entire cast does a great job.  I was shocked at that fact because I am unfamiliar with most of the cast.  Finally, this film does not offer any real special effects.  What few kills we do get consist of slit throats and that is about all we are treated to.  A slasher flick really needs to have more in depth kills, especially one that borrowed the plot from two of the biggest horror films of all time.  Overall, this is a horrible excuse for a horror film that has no redeeming qualities.  Avoid this one like it is your great aunt that smells like Bengay and shame.

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