The VelociPastor

Director - Brendan Steere (Animosity, Unwound)
Starring - Alyssa Kempinski (I Clean Up Your Grave, High Fidelity), Greg Cohan (The Blacklist, Strange Angel), and Aurelio Voltaire (Model Hunger, ReAgitator: Revenge of the Parody)
Release Date - 2018
Genre - Horror/Comedy/Action
Tagline - "A man of the claw"
Format - Bluray (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     The weird just keeps on coming.  The last few days saw me reviewing the strangest bigfoot film to date, Bigfoot's Bride, the horrible remake of Rabid, and one of the strangest black comedies I've ever sat through Greener Grass.  I wanted to keep the weird going so I turned to my stack of movies I need to review to see what stood out.  The second I laid eyes on my films I saw my next watch which is the 2018 comedy action film The VelociPastor that was sent my way for review by Wild Eye Releasing.  I've had my eye on this one for a few weeks now and it was the perfect time to toss it in.  Thanks again Wild Eye!

     The film follows a priest who is given the ability to transform into a dinosaur after an accident while traveling the world after his parent's death.  After getting revenge on the pimp that killed his parents he soon uncovers a secret sect of the church that wants to use his powers for their own agenda but a hooker he has fallen in love with to fight crime and put a stop to the church ninjas...that is his brother he forgot about.
     I knew this film was going to be bat shit crazy but I wasn't expecting to like it as much as I did.  After finally checking it out I've now watched it three times and is in the top running for my favorite film of the year.  It's exploitation meets everything I loved growing up.  We got dinosaurs, ninjas, pimps, hookers...I was a weird child.  Regardless, this has to be seen to be believed.  The acting in this one is not perfect but it works for the film.  I really enjoyed the characters and the fun that the cast had in their roles.  They do a fantastic job and make the film really enjoyable.  The story for this one is fucking bonkers and rejuvenates my love for indie cinema.  So much is thrown into this one that just when you think you've seen it all something else is added.  It may not work in the way of action or horror but some of it does add to the humor of the film which is always welcomed in my home.  Finally, if you are looking for a film filled with amazing practical effects and gore you will surely be disappointed.  However, if you are looking for a parody and tribute to exploitation films of the 70s with cheesy dialogue, some blood, and cheap effects then this one was made for you.  Overall, The VelociPastor is a movie you can watch with a crowd and a few beers or by yourself and still enjoy it.  The movie embraces it's no budget flaws and runs with it.  After giving this a spin I now have another hard on for indie cinema and I can't wait to dive into my next one.