Simon Says

Director - William Dear (Harry and the Hendersons)
Starring - Crispin Glover (Wizard of Gore, Willard, Back to the Future), Margo Harshman (Sorority Row), and Greg Cipes (True Blood)
Release Date - 2006
Genre - Horror
Tagline - "You forgot to say...Simon says"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     A few years back I was looking around for modern slashers after watching The Tripper.  I really enjoyed that film and decided to see what else was out there.  I quickly came across a film starring Crispin Glover.  Growing up on the Back to the Future films, I was pretty excited to see him star in a slasher flick.  I looked everywhere I normally do when trying to order a film.  I could not find it anywhere and over time I forgot about it.  During my first year in college, in 2008, I found it at a random rental store for sale for only $1.  I took it back to my dorm room and watched it, even skipped class to do so.

     The film follows five youths as they head out in to the woods for a camping trip.  When the group mistake a grave site sign for a camp site, two caretakers tell them a story about a local legend.  The story goes that two boys, twins, were camping with their parents.  The brothers, Simon and Stanley (Glover), are polar opposites.  Simon is simple and Stanley is a sadistic fucker.  Stanley is often constructing devices to hurt Simon.  While camping, Stanley plays a game of Simon Says with Simon and tricks him in to smoking a joint.  When Simon rushes off to tell his parents, Stanley intervenes and the two struggle on the ground.  We then see a pair of hands grab a rock and bash the other on the head.  The twin then kills both his parents.  After hearing the story, the group head off for a little fun in the woods.  While stopping for supplies, the group just happen to stop by a store owned by Simon and Stanley.  After gathering supplies, the group head off to the campsite.  As each member of the group is picked off one by one, as well as other helpless people wondering the forest, it is revealed that Simon is actually Stanley and is suffering from split personality.  He also has a crush on the only surviving girl and refuses to kill her.  After she escapes his clutches, she is able to hit him in the head with a meat cleaver.  However, her celebration is short lived when he grabs her and knocks her out.  The film then jumps forward and another group of youths have stopped by the store as they head off to go camping.  Simon opens the cellar door and the young girl is in rags underneath holding a set of twins...

     This is the kind of movie you watch and years later you don't remember a damn thing about it.  I remember some of the kills and most of the characters, however, I didn't remember the story and if I liked it at all.  After watching it again I realized that it is a bad movie that still entertains.  The acting is split 50/50.  The main characters did a great job with their roles, however, the main reason I wanted to watch the film, Crispin Glover, did a horrible job.  I would personally say that I am a huge fan of Glover's and almost every film I have seen him in I have enjoyed.  However, in this film he tries to talk with a southern accent and does not pull it off at all.  The same can be said for his counterparts portraying his youth.  The story is a good homage to the slashers from the 80's but failed when the twin storyline was added to it.  The kills are this films saving grace.  In recent years a trend in torture films, along with found footage, has taken over the horror genre.  Horror, for the most part, has went away from offering unique kills reminiscent of films from the 80's and earlier.  The kills are original and down right entertaining.  The special effects are top notch and only strength the kill scenes.  Though the film is filled with flaws it is still entertaining.  I definitely recommend this one.