Edward Penishands

Director - Paul Norman (Sexmares, Heatwaves)

Starring - Sikki Nixx (Zara's Revenge, Let's Party), Jeanna Fine (Ooze, Wicked Weapon), and Alexandria Quinn (Load Warriors, Scooby-Doo! Curse of the Lake Monster)

Release Date - 1991

Genre - Fantasy

Format - Streaming

Rating (out of 5):

     Over the years we've seen some classic movies get the porn parody treatment.  No movie of television property is safe and if something receives any kind of praise it can soon find itself subject to a porn parody.  In the early 90s Tim Burton released the odd and unique fantasy film Edward Scissorhands.  It would go on to captivate movie audiences and influence goths for years.  It didn't take long for porn director Paul Norman to make a parody of the film starring Sikki Nixx and Jeanne Fine.  I'd been on the hunt for this movie for years but decided to turn to one of the many porn hosting sites that had this one streaming for free.  Honestly, I had a lot of fun with this one and I really hope it gets a DVD or blu release eventually.  

     The film follows a door to door dildo saleswoman who finds an old house.  She discovers that the door is unlocked and lets herself in.  After looking around she finds Edward who is missing both hands.  Instead of hands he has two penises in their place.  They obviously fuck and she decides to take him home to live with her and her family.  Before long her falls in love with her daughter and they...fuck.

     This movie is infamous in movie circles for obvious reasons.  Regardless of what movie groups you are in you will find this one pop up randomly rather it be from the occasion meme or curious movie fan.  I'm a fan of Burton and the original film was a huge part of my childhood so I was always curious about checking this one out.  I had no idea it was be as fun and ridiculous as it was.  Porn or not, I loved it.  The acting in this one is uneven.  Some of the scenes had those cheesy performances that makes porn so much fun while others were actually pretty decent.  The unevenness of the acting does make the film unintentionally funny at times when the scene was not meant to be while making the comedic scenes even funnier.  The story for this one is more parody than porn which is exactly what I'm looking at.  Don't get me wrong.  There is plenty of sex scenes but the film still tells a story.  It's comedic and fans of the original film will really find the comedic twist very entertaining.  Finally, this is not a bloody flick.  However, is dickhands shooting love juice are your thing then you are in luck!  Overall, Edward Penishands is not going to be for everyone.  If you walk around with your nose in the air and refusing to have fun then you will hate this.  However, if you are up for a sleazy good time then this movie is a must.  I really enjoyed this movie that is even stranger than Burton's classic.  Check it out if you ever get the chance.