Splatter Farm

Director(s) - John Polonia (Splatter Beach, Bad Magic), Mark Polonia (Return to Splatter Farm, Land Shark), and Todd Michael Smith (Church of the Damned, Lethal Nightmares)

Starring - Todd Michael Smith, John Polonia, and Mark Polonia 

Release Date - 1987

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Old McDonald had a farm... Ei Ei ouch"

Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     I've spent most of my life collecting horror movies.  I'm always on the hunt for something I don't own and use various social media platforms to find titles to add to my collection.  Many years ago I joined the forums at Upcoming Horror Movies where I discovered so many indie and underground horror movies that had slipped through my grasps.  It was here that I was introduced to the Polonia Brothers.  Not long after that I bought the Splatter Farm DVD from Camp Motion Pictures.  I didn't watch it right away and over time it gained dust sitting on my shelves.  Wild Eye recently announced a sequel to this one so I decided it was the perfect time to dig into it before giving the new follow up a spin.  

     The film follows twins who visit their aunt on her farm.  She has a very backward son who she employs as a farm hand.   What they don't know is that he is the result of their aunt being raped by her brother and he's secretly killing people before cutting up the bodies and hiding them around the farm.

     I always get excited to dive into a no-budget horror flick I had never seen before.  I had heard a lot of things about Splatter Farm but I was hesitante to check it out after August Underground let me down like it did.  However, I found myself liking Splatter Farm even though it was poorly put together.  It's a bad movie but it does have charm.  The acting in this one is some of the most inexperienced I've seen.  Considering the cast's age and lack of experience at this point makes you take these scenes with a grain of salt but a lot of the scenes is a bit rough to watch.  No one can question the cast's devotion to the film but they were clearly inexperienced.  The story for this one is fun and is definitely inspired by hixploitation classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Deranged.  The inbred killer that butchers people in his barn before hiding their parts throughout the farm is fun and works in this S.O.V. classic.  It may not be original but it's messy and fun.  With that being said, I don't see myself revisiting this one any time soon unless I'm heavily drinking.  Finally, this is a bloody one.  We get some pretty fun kills that uses various methods and camera tricks along with some practical effects.  Honestly, the practical effects really did impress me and the film lives up to it's name.  Sadly, they won't stick with you but they are still fun to watch.  Overall, Splatter Farm is not for those looking for a polished and well put together horror flick.  However, if you want a bloody mess of a horror flick made by young filmmakers looking to make their mark on horror history then this one is for you.