Monster Movie

Director(s) - Mark Polonia (Splatter Farm, Return to Splatter Farm) and John Polonia (Church of the Damned, Hellspawn)

Starring - Brian Berry (Werewolf Rising, Splatter Beach), Todd Carpenter (Sharkenstein, Bigfoot vs. Zombies), and Anthony Polonia (Peter Rottentail, Razorteeth)

Release Date - 2008

Genre - Horror

Tagline - "Prehistoric terror... at 24 frames per second!"

Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):

     The Polonia Brothers, Mark and John, and two of the most prolific filmmakers in the indie horror scene.  Their careers started in 1985 with the film Church of the Damned.  Sadly, in 2008 John passed away.  That didn't stop Mark from continuing his work in film.  In 2008, the year John passed away, the pair worked on a found footage film called Monster Movie.  I had heard very little about this release but it was included as a bonus disc in Camp Motion Picture's release of Splatter Farm.  While I was on a Splatter Farm double Feature I decided it was a good time to check this one out as well.  

     The film follows a group of men who decide to go out into the woods for a little getaway.  What starts out as a trip for smoking, drinking, and fishing, turns strange and deadly when they find their camp destroyed one morning.  Soon they find themselves face to face with a giant creature that is destroying livestock in the area.

     I had stated in other reviews that the films from the Polonia Brother's are hit and miss with me.  Some I absolutely love while others are tough to finish.  Monster Movie is one that was difficult to finish which would explain why I had never heard about it aside from it being a double feature in the Splatter Farm release.  The acting in this one is pretty rough.  In fact, it's easily the worst I have seen to come out of the Polonia camp.  The dialogue is painfully awkward to watch and the characters lack personalities and defining traits that make them stand out.  The found footage style adds another layer of awkward conversation to the film as the cast attempts to capture that family video type vibe.  The story for this one is a lot of dialogue with very little horror.  The film tries very hard to capture that found footage vibe so we get a lot of unimportant conversation and meaningless tasks being performed for the viewer which creates a very dull film.  The horror aspect doesn't appear until the final portion of the film and then it's barely anything to hold your attention.  If anything, the film could have ran for around 20 minutes and even then it would have failed to tell a story.  Finally, if you are looking for a bloodbath like other Polonia releases you will be disappointed.  The film does have a cheesy looking "creature" that is not that impressive and barely on screen.  Overall, Monster Movie could have been another fun and cheesy Polonia release but the film itself feels rushed and unfinished.  This is one I cannot recommend.  Skip it.