Don't Fuck in the Woods

Director - Shawn Burkett (Bludgeon, Watch This!)
Starring - Brittany Blanton (It's Your Fault, The Lamb), Ayse Howard (Campground: The Requel, The Sleeping Soul), and Roman Jossart (The Campground, The Funhouse Massacre)
Release Date - 2016
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Format - Streaming (Online Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     I owe a lot to Shawn Burkett, his partner Ryan Stacy, and their no budget production company Concept Media.  Way back when I was first brought on to Horror Society from my little blog very few indie filmmakers would give me the time of day.  Not Shawn and Ryan.  They both started sending me news to share on the site, as well as, their films to review.  This meant a lot even if I didn't always like the film.  I now feel loyal the pair.  With that being said, I may be loyal but I will still be honest with my reviews.  When Shawn broke the news that he was working on a film titled Don't Fuck in the Woods the horror community erupted.  Someone finally grew a pair and made a movie for horror fans.  Sadly, the film's production was riddled with problems from actresses getting bee stung to financial problems.  The film was recently completed and Shawn reached out to me to check it out.  Thank's Shawn!

     The film follows a group of twenty-somethings who take a break from adulthood and go camping so they can get away.  They plan on meeting some friends that went up the night before so they can drink and smoke it up.  However, what they don't know is that there is a sexually charged creature stalking and killing anyone that comes into its woods to fuck or rub one out.


     Shawn is an unusual filmmaker.  When I say unusual I don't mean he makes films like James and Mae Bell.  I mean he is unusual in how his films look.  Most of his movies have no budgets but are always well shot and look bigger than the budget is.  Bludgeon, The Sleeping Soul, The Lamb all look amazing which is something you rarely see in no budget indie horror.  It is also worth noting that this films typically fall under the thriller genre and not directly under horror.  They tend to be dark, atmospheric pieces that gives the viewer an unconventional horror film.  When Shawn announced Don't Fuck in the Woods I was curious.  Shawn's previous works were not straight forward horror and I could not wait to see how he handled.  After watching Don't Fuck in the Woods twice, an unfinished mock up of the film and the finished film, I have to say this film exceeded my expectations.   The acting for this one is phenomenal.  The entire cast was brilliant.  We can start with Hannah Herdt and Nadia White.  This is the first film I have seen that involved both actresses.  They both do great and sold their scenes.  Hannah was sassy but she still had that innocent look about herself.  Nadia was great in her role.  She was sexy, sensual, and a strong female lead.  The film's stars, Brittany Blanton and Ayse Howard, were amazing together.  They both took control of their scenes and they do it with sex appeal.  Ayse is never a disappointment and always kills every role she is in.  This is only the second or third time I've seen Brittany in a film but this is by far her most powerful performance.  They both use their attractiveness to their advantage in the film but quickly turn it into a showcase for their talent...especially Brittany who turns from gentle lesbian to deadly beauty.  I was not expecting her to become the film's final girl but when she does we quickly see why Burkett went with her.  With all the being said, there was one performance that really sold the film for me and that was Roman Jossart who is the man who directed The Campground.  Roman brought the humor to the film and fucking had me laughing at the television.  I don't mean I was chuckling like you do when your spouse tells you a stupid joke and you are doing it so they don't feel stupid.  I'm talking about laughing like your best friend just told you they like Fall Out Boy's Ghostbuster's Theme cover.  The film would have been fun without him but it reached a new level of entertainment with him.  The story for this one is a bit of a throwback to the creature and slasher in the woods films of the late 70s and 80s while delivering a slight parody of them as well.  We have seen countless monster and slasher flicks that are centered around people in the woods trying to drink, fuck, and have a good time only to get slaughtered.  Don't Fuck in the Woods turns it up a notch and makes the reason they are dying is because they are fucking in the woods.  This was a fun way to poke fun at the now tired cliche while giving us a story similar to that.  On the downside, some of the scenes feel pointless.  There is just a scene or two that feel out of place and do nothing for the story.  If these were cut the film would have benefited tremendously.  Finally, the film is full of good, old fashioned kills that takes us back to the slasher golden age.  We get some really vile genital mutilations (which is something Shawn is getting good at), some disembowelment, and one really cool explosion.  The effects for the kills are great.  In fact, they are some of the best I have seen come out of the Concept Media camp to date.  Bloody and fun.  However, the creature was hit and miss with me.  In some scenes I was applauding Burkett and company for the creature and the way it looks.  The angles and lighting is perfect to pull the effect off.  Sadly, a few scenes show a little too much of the creature and it missed it's mark.  Overall, Don't Fuck in the Woods is a breast above other creature features.  It has some great humor, one hell of a cast, and a story that isn't afraid to poke fun at itself.  If you love blood, boobs, and underage sex jokes then this one was made for you!