Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Die-B-Que

Director - Jackson Furley
Starring - Cassidy Wine, Miles Brunswick, Kathy Goodwill
Release Date - 1986 (2011)
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline(s) - "The most brutal film of all time" and "Banned in 13 countries"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection)

Rating (out of 5):
     Some time ago I brought you a review for the film Werewolf of Ohio.  I had ordered the film from Warlock Home Video on the grounds that the DVD artwork looked fucking awesome.  For that same reason I also ordered two more films from them.  If you read the review for that film then you know I absolutely hated it.  It was honestly one of the worst films I have ever seen.  I mean it was bad, but not Bloodbath in the House of Knives bad.  Nothing is that bad.  So for some time now I put off watching the other two films.  I felt bad paying for something and never watching it so I decided to throw in one of them to see just how bad it was.  I chose this film.  It claimed to be banned in 13 countries and was filmed in 1986.  The imdb.com page claims something entirely different giving the film a 2011 release date.  Clever ploy by Warlock.  A lot of films may take place in the 80s but very few actually go as far as to give a false date. 
     This one follows a small group of twenty-somethings as they plan on having a cook out and partying.  One of the young guys is being dragged down by his hippie girlfriend.  She forces him to be a vegetarian and avoid alcohol. While the two go off to fornicate the others drink some beer and eat some food.  The group is unaware that a radioactive rat pissed all over their food.  They start to dance badly and slowly die after consuming the tainted meat.  They then rise as members of the undead and try to eat the two that did not partake in the partying like the rest did.
     Sometimes a movie can surprise you.  I went in to this thinking it would be a piece of shit and I was entirely wrong.  It is not a movie that is going to get a 5 out of 5 from me but I was entertained for the most part. The acting is horrible but I think that was intentional.  At one point in the film the actress playing the hippie Moon Beam (a total hottie) forgot her lines.  I honestly think that was intentional which means the acting is amazing for them to do such a great job at being bad.  If not, then I am giving them the benefit of the doubt.  The story is nothing original but could have been so much more.  We honestly get the rat piss and zombies the last few moments of film and when we do get the zombies they don't eat anyone.  They shamble to the camera and the film ends.  What kind of zombie movie skips on the zombie?  Not one trying to cater to the fans that's for sure.  Finally, the special effects and on screen kills are non-existent.  We get no deaths, except for those that eat the meat, and when they rise from the dead they look just like they did when they died.  I guess that is more realistic than most zombie movies but it is not frightening nor amazing to look at.  Overall, this is a shameless homage to 80's cinema that is fun for the first watch...if you can turn off all rationality.  I recommend watching it once but not buying it.




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