Hack Job

Director - James Balsamo (Cool as Hell, I Spill Your Guts)
Starring - James Balsamo, Michael Shershenovich (I Spill Your Guts, Under a Blanket of Blue), and Dave Brockie (Jesus, The Total Douchebag)
Release Date - 2011
Genre - Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "Get hacked!"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

     A few months back I brought you guys a review for the indie film Cool as Hell by director James Balsamo.  The film was very fun and had some really funny moments.  I wanted to watch his other films after that but with moving and other expenses I was not able to afford them at the moment.  Lucky for me the nice people at Wild Eye Releasing sent me this film to review.  I knew this was Balsamo's first time behind the camera but I did not know what to expect.  I knew it would not be on the same level as Cool as Hell but I wanted to see it anyway.

   

Tale #1

Rating (out of 5):

     A good anthology requires a good bookend story to tie them all together and this one does the trick.  The book end story follows two indie directors that are sick of the artsy fartsy indie films and take matters in to their own hands.  Wielding a machete and chainsaw the two kill an art director before receiving a script from Satan (who just happens to be a producer).  The script had three tales and the two set out to make that feature film.

     I really enjoyed this segment that split up each film.  It was completely ridiculous and off the wall.  I honestly laughed quite a few times at the genuine humor.  Sadly, it is so ridiculous that it comes off as chaotic making it difficult to follow.  It seemed like a good idea spiraled out of control before Lloyd Kaufman shits himself.  The acting in this segment is standard indie with most of the cast showing talent but no real experience.  Balsamo is the only one showing any real experience just like I said in my Cool as Hell review.  More experience for the cast would have made the film more fun.  The story in this particular segment is fun but ran it's course way too early.  By the halfway mark in the film (between the second and third segment if I remember right) this segment went from really entertaining to just being filler for the remainder of the film.  I really do love Lloyd Kaufman but his segment serves no purpose to the film except to deliver a little potty humor.  Finally, the special effects and kills in this segment are not that great.  In fact, some of them made me laugh they were so bad.

Tale #2

Rating (out of 5):

     This tale follows a group of modern day Nazis that have aligned themselves with a archeologist forcing another archeologist to read the hieroglyphics unleashing a horde of mummies.  Lucky for them a soviet soldier, who hates nazies and mummies, crash landed nearby.  He kicks some mummy ass and saves the day.

 

     This segment is possibly one of the weakest shorts I have ever seen in my life.  Don't get me wrong the film had promise but it looks like the budget, timing, or some other presence prevented it from being the short they intended.  I saw a lot of Italian zombie film influence in this one but the editing and obstacles made it fall short of being the film it could have been.  The acting in this one is below average by the entire cast.  Some scenes were just awkward to watch.  Once again, more experience would have made this one a little bit more enjoyable.  The story is heavily influenced by 70's Italian horror but like I said earlier, it just fell short.  I would love to see Balsamo take this one on again now he has had more experience behind the camera.  Finally, the special effects in this one looked good.  I really liked how the mummies look aside from their fluoride white wraps.  Sadly, once again no bloody and gory deaths to feast your eye sockets on in this one.

Tale #3

  Rating (out of 5):

          This tale follows Butch, a musician, who has a crush on a local girl.  However, Butch is harassed by the local greasers and is challenged by them to attend the battle of the bands.  As Butch prepares for his concert an alien crash lands and is consuming the locals making it grow in size.  With things looking bleak and the alien beast about to feast on his lady salvation arrives in an unlikely hero.  Oderus Urungus of Gwar arrives and slays the alien fiend and saves the day.

     This is by far the pinnacle of the film and my favorite of all of Balsamo's work.  This is a solid tribute to alien and creature films from the 50s and 60s.  I have seen a lot of tributes to films from that era and they just missed something.  They were fun and looked great but missed that one element and until now I had no idea what that was.  That thing the others were lacking was bad creature effects.  Rather Balsamo intended it to look bad or not it reminded me of the same creatures from that era long ago.   Either way this segment was just fun, plain and simple.  The acting in this one is a step up from the other shorts but were still on the same level as most micro-budget indie flicks.  The story is nothing original but it was sure as hell fun.  Aliens coming to Earth and eating humans has been done hundreds if not thousands of time.  However, Balsamo's version of the story entertains and I would almost beg Balsamo to take another crack at this style of film and make it a feature film instead of a short.  Finally, this one lacks any real on screen deaths and the special effects are crappy.  This only adds to the charm of this segment.

Tale #4

Rating (out of 5):

  
     This tale follows a young man who becomes the skin puppet for a spirit who wants to kill a televangelist.  The young man then goes on a killing spree to reach his target.   






     This is another weak short that dragged this film down.  I'll be honest and just come clean.  I had no idea what the fuck was going on.  I had to rewind it a few times because I thought I missed something...and sadly I did not.  It just seemed like this segment did not get the same treatment, or thought, as the other segments did.  In fact, this short was in an entirely different format as the rest of the film.  From looking at Balsamo's haircut I think it is safe to say that this was one of his earlier shorts that he just placed in to the film as filler.  The acting is the same as the rest of the film and rides the bad side of acting.  Some of the cast is trying way too hard.  I'm not even going to mention how more experience would have went a long way (even though I just did).  The story is nothing original and does not unfold well on film.  It just seemed like this short was more of an experiment with Balsamo testing the water and his own skills.  Finally, this films does have some on screen kills, way more than the rest, but skips on the special effects and gore.  The film has a small hint of slasher vibe but fails on the slasher-esque kills.

       This movie was the beginning of James Balsamo's directing career.  Between this and Cool as Hell he has grew tremendously as a director.  As a whole this film is extremely weak and hard to follow but if you separate each segment up you can find some redeeming qualities throughout each segment.  Overall, this film should be watched but expect the good with the bad