Bloodsucka Jones

Director - Justin Armao
Starring - Preston Gant (Fracture), Maria Canapino (Rain of the Furies), and Justin Armao
Release Date - 2013
Genre- Horror/Comedy
Tagline - "That which does not kill you makes you awesome"
Format - DVD (Personal Collection) (Screener)

Rating (out of 5):

     A few weekends ago I went to Kentucky to the Fright Night Film Fest that was in conjunction with the Fandom Fest.  Between the two cons guests could see Norman Reedus, Michael Rooker, Kane Hodder (who signed my Jason Voorhees tattoo), Gene Simmons, Stan Lee, and many others.  However, one person stood out.  Around all these nerdy white people stood a 6 foot something (7 if you count his afro) black man dressed like he was going to a disco and he was accompanied by a young lady that was very easy on the eyes.  No matter where the pair went they were always turning heads.  I had no idea who this gentleman was until later that day when his young lady bumped in to my wife.  She apologized and he gave me a few buttons.  When I came home I searched around for the name that was on the button.  That name was Bloodsucka Jones.  I dscovered it was a movie and hit youtube up for the trailer where I was hooked instantly.  I loved the trailer but it made me feel like an idiot for not actually talking to him and the people behind the Bloodsucka Jones table.  I reached out to them and they were kind enough to send me a screener to view.  So thank you all so much for giving me the opportunity.

     The film follows a socially awkward young man who meets the love of his life.  Unfortunately, she turns out to be a vampire.  Her step-brother is trying to force the two apart so she can become heartbroken and will kill him.  However, her love for him is too strong and he resorts to sending his lackeys out to terrorize him.  He turns to a recommended vampire killer but he is a bumbling idiot.  When things look like they are at their darkest a savior appears with a sweet car and a hottie on his side.  That savior is Bloodsucka Jones.  Bloodsucka Jones trains the two in the ways of fighting vampires and picking up the hotties.  Bloodsucka Jones' training pays off in the end and the young man is able to destroy her brother and he gets to keep his woman.
     I say I love a lot of things but I do love the blaxploitation films from the 70s.  The actors were all way too serious and they somehow found themselves portraying completely ridiculous characters.  Films like Disco Godfather, Blacula, Sugar Hill, and The Mack are all prime examples of this.  Blaxploitation has slowly been making a comeback since the early 2000s.  Films like Undercover Brothers, Snoop Dogg's Bones, Black Devil Doll, and my personal favorite Black Dynamite are part of the new blaxploitation movement and unlike the original run these point out the cliches and make fun of them.  These are some great blaxploitation comedies and horror films.  That brings me to my favorite hybrid of the two.  I love when blaxploitation merges with horror.  I love the cheese and the zany characters that often emerge when they collide so I knew I would really love this film here and I did.  The movie is funny no matter how you slice it.  It combined a quirky, low brow comedy with blaxploitation and finished it off with very weak adaptations of vampires.  The acting is great by the two wanna-be vampire killers and Gant as Jones.  However, the rest of the cast were lacking the experience needed to deliver what this film truly needed.  The story is a mash-up of Black Dynamite, Blade, and any random romantic comedy.  It may not be original but it is fun as hell and this will be one I continue to watch whenever I want a solid film to watch.  Finally, the film does lack when it came to on screen kills and special effects but more than made up for it with comedy and great one liners.  Overall, Bloodsucka Jones delivers one hell of a good time.  This is going to be a film that people will never forget!  I highly recommend it.